The Knockout Mama

Why I Love Boxing

2012-02-12T00:07:00.000-08:00

Everyone needs a hobby. And perhaps, that is why I'm writing what feels like a fourth grade essay at two in the morning... because I feel like I've found mine. Two words: Tori Nelson. I've been on the Tori Train for a long time now... and I will write anyone and anything that will listen- in the hopes that she gains more fans- and hopefully one day a full-fledged sponsor. Trust me- People are going to be coming out of the woodwork- She's going to have cousins she never even knew about- but it's all good. Tori is following her calling and giving us all something to believe in.

To know Tori is to know family. To know family is to know the wonderful sport of boxing. Don't think it's for you? Think again- because who would have thought that this middle-aged stay at home mama would be requesting tickets to fight night as her Valentine's Day present over champagne and roses. Spend an evening at a hometown event and you'll soon know why boxing brings in the Benjamin's and you too might be throwing the next pay-per-view party at your Casa.

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

What's the best part of a hockey game? Duh- when a crazy beat 'em up fight breaks out. What makes sportscenter every time? When the benches clear or the batter attacks the pitcher... or anything with a fight. So what's not to love about a sport where the word fight is taken to a whole different level- where skill, tactic, power, speed, and character are all showcased in a ring with rules and regs?

The Roar of the Sunday Crowd

Picture Nascar without the flannels. Boxing fans are just as loyal and die-hard as any- Sometimes even forming a cult-like following. Just like any sport, fans can provide home-court advantage and sway a match. But unlike other major sports where athletes and organizations act like fans don't mean a thing, boxing fans are often treated like family. Politics and talent go a long way in this sport- but so does a fan base meaning many boxers follow the good 'ole Golden Rule- doing unto others and making themselves accessible. Often, fans are just as important to the boxer as the boxer is to the fan.

T. N. A.

Let's just be real. Ring girls are a part of boxing. Every man loves a little t-n-a, and every woman likes to look at the chicks, pick out their flaws, and make snide comments about how, "I hope my daughter never does that," and "Her parents must be really proud," when we know deep down inside if we looked half as good as these youngin's we'd be swaying our hips holding a round card in a hot second. Just stating the truth.

There is no "I" in Team

Spend a night experiencing boxing culture and you'll soon find a love for the game. You'll quickly see how it's not about the boxer, but more about the essence of family coming together. Boxers have trainers, cornermen, promoters, and the list goes on and on. Watch closely and you'll see a love story play out before your very eyes where people come together and give themselves for that one person to shine. The more you watch, the more intriguing it is. Boxing truly is a team sport.

Good Music, Good Drinks, Good Company, Good Times

Fight Night consists of all of the above. You can't help but bop to the music and find your inner soul. You can't help but get wasted on the overpriced booze- or better yet stay sober and watch the drunkenness. And you can't beat some of the best entertainment around.

Trust me. Attending a local boxing match is a bucket list must. In case ya missed tonight's card, here's a little review from a mom with no boxing knowledge whatsoever who calls it like she sees it:

Womack v. Andrews- Not sure who was who... Just know the ref got it right and the right guy won. And whoever nicknamed him "Scarecrow" should copyright that shiznit. Couldn't fit him any better.

Mobley v. Benson- First thought- Dude these guys are big. After that, all thoughts went away. Would have loved to see one of these heavyweights demonstrate how the bigger they are the harder they fall but not much happened. Snoozefest.

Jones v. Yorgey- Another "I'm just not into this one" fight. But huge shoutout to the LA Boxing guy. Poke fun all you want- but LA Boxing not only can help ya drop the pounds, but it is producing some of the areas best fighters and I'm proud to say that this is gym is what made me first fall in love with boxing.

Wilson v. Basora- Loved the bagpipes- got me interested in the fight. Well, that and the parade of Leprechauns walking to the ring. Wilson is the real deal- and he's the one to watch. Respectable, energetic fans made me want to get in on the action. Let's just say he reminds me of Cujo, and I'm now a bona-fide fan. This man is going places- and every single person in attendance that was there to support him gave Tori some love... I think it's a marketing match- TNT is dynamite. Todd and Tori!

Random Rant- According to the program, Wilson should have been before the Jones fight. In the future, I'd appreciate if they would stick to this. Wilson and Nelson are to much alike and Tori Wilson sometimes comes right out. This is boxing not wrestling. Thanks.

Nelson v. Living- Hell to the yeah... There is life to this arena afterall!!! Hands down this is the fight of the night! The girls know how to put on a show- and it's not by dancing and prancing around like some of the men- it's by fighting!!! Let me say- Lady V- You did your thing- and you appear really marketable- keep on truckin' girl. I also read that you were trying to work on your cardio and last the ten rounds because you had faded in your last bout. A+ on that Honey Boo Boo. In the end though... my girl Tori had it all the way. She's a beast. She gets in the zone and I don't care how hard you pound on her, she won't feel it. She will not give up or go down. Add that bling- she earned another belt in the ring. Woot Woot!!!

Stewart v. Wyatt- Can't tell ya much... Either this was the most boring fight ever or I was just still coming down from the high of Tori winning. Maybe a little of both.

Lange v. Galvan- O.k... Let me just say that Lange was clearly the better fighter- He looked in shape, his arm had twice the span of his opponent and he was fast. With that being said, I almost felt as though I was being punked. Either that or I was at a WWF match and these dudes were putting on a show for entertainment purposes. At least I got my money's worth- when Galvan tried to grind on a ring girl, I about died. He taunted Lange, displayed some crazy antics- that I feel were just his way of stalling just so he didn't get his arse kicked. Throughout the nonsense, Lange remained quite the professional. Speaking of money though, one thing Lange is doing right is raising the most adorable, cute, and truly polite little boy. I met him- all decked out in a tailored suit. Let's just say entrepreneurship must run in the family. Little man was taking shirts that they were giving away for free (too bad I didn't know this) and scalping them for five bucks. I prefer to say it was a delivery fee- I didn't have to walk down to the concourse to claim mine... Suckered. But in this day in age a kid that is able to schmooze and work hard all while having manners and charming fans is a winner in my book. Must run in the family. Mama and Daddy- Keep winning out of the ring at home too.:)

My favorite part of the night was Lange's entrance. He can bring the house down with the lights, confetti, shiny robe, and it was very fitting that he came out to the lyrics "I go to extremes." Pretty Boy- Hollywood is calling your name. But... I think he better keep on going to extremes, because tonight folks, It was the house that Tori built. She "Sho Nuff" stole the show and she built it by just being herself. No smoke and mirrors were needed.

And after seven rounds, the snow started coming, our funds for the babysitter had been maxed out, and it was easy to walk away from this fight because I got what I came for. Another W for my girl Tori. Now for the love of God, will someone besides Gary "Digital" Williams (Mr. W~ I know that I pestered you, but I also know that you were Team Tori all along- keep the support coming- It is so appreciated.:)) recognize this!

*And for those wondering why we were chanting 3-2-5 for Tori... That's the bus number she drives. No shame in her game- I enjoyed my night with these wonderful peeps- LoCo's finest.:) Keep their benefits- Reason #390- We have a fighter to protect!!!

Same Old Thang...

2012-02-09T13:30:00.000-08:00

NOT!!!

Yep, I've been M.I.A... and if you read this blog,that usually means that I've fallen off the wagon, have some sob story, and am starting tomorrow. But not today.

In fact, I started my journey a couple of weeks ago, and I am feeling soooo good. Alive. Well. On my way.:)

I'm working out, eating right, and making changes. Right now, I am exhausted. My son was up most of the night with a cough- and after visiting the doctor- they feel it may be astma induced. I've been on the go all day doing for others- driving here, driving there, running errands, visiting my grandfather, watching my friend's son afterschool for a couple days while she's out of town, and usually I'd be knee deep digging into a bag of chips or acting like I'm making brownies for the kids when in actuality I want some raw batter. But not today...

I'm using these few minutes to let ya know I'm staying out of the kitchen, and am about to get these chitlin's in the car to make a fool out of myself... I mean try a new cardio kickboxing class. :)

Maybe M.I.A. can now be a good thing on this blog... Bikni or bust.:)

Day One Done and Done

2012-02-03T17:59:00.000-08:00

Check 1,2... Testing. Testing. I could tell the instructor was going to be a little too gung-ho for me at 8:30 in the morning when she was testing a million mics before class. Annoying to say the least. And then when the class started she became 100 times more annoying- but that's not to say I didn't like this chick.

I've found a new class I like- It's called Metabolic Effect- Kind of like a 30 minute boot camp followed by Absolution- an abs class where I do OK until anything with a plank is involved. Today's instructor was one of those people that is tries to get ya pumped up and motivate ya to push yourself harder- but not in a natural way. The entire class I heard comments like "If you're going on a trip for spring break, you don't start in March, you start NOW!" and "Summer is just around the corner, what do you want to look like?" Cheesy to some I'm sure, but to me today she nailed it on the head and hit home. Let's just say I felt like she was that little devil on my shoulder saying things in my ear- all the thoughts I think all the time. Kind of like my inner self conscious.

I almost felt like I was being punked when she went off on a tangent that sounded just like my inner voices. She started saying how so many people have thoughts like "When I'm skinny, I will be so much happier. When I lose weight, things will be so much better, I will do this and I will do that, and all my problems will be solved." It shouldn't be WHEN we need to BE. We need to be that person now and make choices to get there. It's not going to happen by itself. So very true.

So today, I'd like to thank that over the top teacher. She must be doing something right. I worked out, did extra cardio, and ate well. Well I'll BE!!!

And now I'm off to watch my seedy reality TV- Sweet Home Alabama- gotta love a cheaply done version of the Bachelor. AND I'm watching it upstairs tonight- my kitchen is closed.:)

Did Someone Say Challenge?!?

2012-02-02T17:36:00.000-08:00

Suckkkkaaaaa! OK- At least now I know where I get it from. A couple weeks ago, my mom and I went to an I Am Modern event- "All About Me" in Stone Ridge. There were tons of businesses geared towards taking women's money- I mean stimulating the economy and helping make us our better self. Before it was over, I had almost agreed to yet another jewelry party and become an Avon Lady on the spot- but luckily this time I stayed strong. My mom, on the other hand, walked away with a hundred dollar bra. Did you know they now have home parties for undergarments!?! Yep, you can get your spanx, bras, anything ya need from "The Bra Lady." Yep, my mom entered a closet with that very lady for a "free bra measurement" and five minutes later coughed up eighty buckaroos for a bra and almost fifteen for shipping. You'd think it was cute and sexy... but it looked straight up like a Maidenform. Sorry mom, you too were suckered.

Well, today, that was me... but ya know what I've decided? You are only suckered if you let it happen. If that grandma-ish bra fits my mama like a glove- then she wasn't suckered. And if I had actually ever attempted to have a party or tried at all at Willow House, Mary Kay, Premier Desings Jewerly, Thirty-One... and the list goes on, then I might have been successful- and not a sucker. So, we'll see how this new "investment" pans out... in 93 days.

Yep, I know it's totally corny to join a "challenge" but that's me- corny. But I know that I need some motivation so I ordered some Body By Vi shakes from Visalus. And I had my daughter take those dreaded before pictures and I'm on a mission. The shakes don't arrive until the 6th... so tomorrow is Day one... but I don't really get the shakes until Monday, so we'll just call this a 93 day challenge... Just in time for sweet, sweet summatime.:)

So, what do I plan to do in this challenge? Oh, ya know, just win the cruise and 25 g's. LOL.... sooooo kidding. Sometimes ya just gotta dream though.:) But for real, here's a little insight:

-Workout Daily- Hard... Meaning take classes, meet with a trainer, and fit in cardio, and train for a triathlon (more on that later)

-Eat Healthy- I met with Christy Hastings from Fit Solutions for Life last week for a nutritional coaching session. Don't worry- I'm not going to be living off of shakes. I mean, really, if you are one of the handful of people that still check in on this blog, you should know better- This girl is gonna eat. But, I plan on using all or her tips- Pretty much whole foods, healthy eating, detox from soda and add water, etc. I started drinking a protien shake for breakfast this week and it really seemed to help. My plan is to make two protien shakes out of one packet by adding fresh fruit/veggies, etc. and then split it and have half at breakfast and then the other half at lunch with my meal.

-Blog... Though my blogs won't be exciting or have interesting content- for the time being, I need to just blog for me. For accountability, to gain encouragement, and to stay on track.

-Look forward to so many things- A summer where I'm not hiding behind a towel, buying a cute dress for Butt-Butt and J.D.'s wedding, and who knows- Maybe even wearing shorts instead of capri's... Crazier things have happened peeps!

So there ya have it... I'm challenging myself. Challenging myself to stay on track and put my own health first. I look forward to sharing tips, my ups and downs, and more about Body By Vi- but don't worry- I.will.never.try.to.sell.anything.again. I'm a buyer not a seller... No worries!

Do ya think I can do it? Should I repeat the deal... May 5th before and afters- a deal is a deal.:)

Ducks...

2012-01-26T15:56:00.000-08:00

Joined a gym.

Started using it.

Met with a nutritionist.

Stocked the pantry.

Scheduled a weekly trainer.

And most importantly I'm making the time for me.

Big things to come... All my ducks are in a row.:)

Stay tuned.:)

You ARE beautiful

2012-01-17T12:05:00.000-08:00

Long ago, I went to a soccer camp with two friends during high school. Over the years, I had spent weeks upon weeks at soccer camp, but let me just tell ya- we made a lot of memories at this overnight camp...

At the beginning of the week, my friend walked in the bathroom only to catch one of the girls at this co-ed camp staring at herself in the mirror telling herself how beautiful she was- "You are beautiful. You are soooo beautiful." And being the evil teenage girls that we were, we mocked and imitated her the rest of the week- behind closed doors of course. Yeah- not nice, I know.

Oh what a week- This is the same camp where- true story, my friend stared at a Gatorade bottle and said the shape and size was making her horny. To this day I sometimes wonder if A) We were just up way past curfew and had turned delerious, B) She had really experienced someone that well endowed, or C) If there is something wrong with me because obviously my sex drive is not at that point. I mean inanimate objects aren't exactly making me want to dryhump the bed these days.

This was also the week that I accidentally sat under a tree that had dropped some berries. Dark red berries that I didn't see. Dark red berries that went ALL OVER my soccer shorts that were light in color. Dark red berries that looked like I had leaked so bad. Dark red berries that completely mortified me when I asked our coach from England if I could run back to the dorm to change shorts because I had sat on a berry. "Sure ya can, and sure ya sat on a berry." He so didn't buy it...

O.k.... I digressed. But what's new. Back to the you are beautiful girl. Looking back, her mama must have taught her well. She was so confident. To this day, I couldn't do that- well, maybe with a few shots of vodka, but not in my every day life. When I lift at the gym with my husband, I feel ridiculous looking at myself. When I'm in class, I can't look straight ahead to see my reflection and form. I feel like one of those sorority chicks that is naked and people are writing all over her body. Your thighs are tree trunks, you have a spare tire around your belly, you double chin is obnoxious... and I just can't bear to look at what I have let myself become. I literally can't look at my reflection in the gym.

I'm working on it though. I want to be the woman in the mirror that loves her outside. I want to be the woman that is proud, and that doesn't need Christina Aguliera singing words I can sing along with- I am beautiful, no matter what you say... I want to be that poor girl we laughed so hard about- the girl looking in the mirror saying "You are beautiful." And I only hope and pray that my daughter is that girl that others are laughing at- because in the end, you realize that she was the one who had all the confidence in the world and had gotten it right.

Mindset

2012-01-14T16:58:00.000-08:00

I'm a lucky girl- I have a lot of amazing girlfriends, a very, very best friend that takes B-F-F to a crazy new level, girls that I can count on... and if all else fails lots of women in my family that will always have my back. But the older I get, I have realized that it's not about the number of friends that you have- for life is not a popularity contest. And the more I age, I realize that it's more about those you hold close to your heart- and those that when it comes down to it- you'd trust with your heart.

I've also learned that everyone needs a Kathryne in their life. I honestly think it's important to have a lady that you look up to and admire. I'm not talking about someone that you want what they have or covet. I'm talking about someone- in my case an entire family that you want to emulate. Someone that holds the same values as you do, someone who is positive, leads a life where she is kind, giving, and beautiful on the inside and out. And someone that is just a few steps ahead of you- so that she can give you advice without mothering you. Someone that is still hip but can also say "been there, done that"... as a friend.

During my L.A. Boxing experience, I randomly met that exact person- my very own Kathryne. Two years ago, she trained at L.A. Boxing and was trying to get her body back. Like me, she had been a stay at home mom while her boys were younger- and the more we talked, the more we realized we had so much in common- and a friendship blossomed.

This fall, Kathryne enlisted the help of a life coach/personal trainer and made the commitment to a twelve week transformation program. Through blood, sweat, and tears, Kathryne changed her body, mind, and soul and in the process she won a "little Black dress" transformation contest. After twelve weeks of working out, she ended up with gams that are HOT!!!

Not bad for a lady getting ready to send a son off to college- eh? In fact, I'd take those legs in a heartbeat!

This week I e-mailed Kathryne asking for some advice about how to get out of the rut I'm in (which I think over the past two weeks I've crawled out of!). We exchanged a couple e-mails and then we chatted on the phone. I was running an errand after having picked up my daughter from preschool and then having to pick my son up from school only to drive 30 minutes to spend an hour at the pool while he swims and I think she could sense how frazzled I was. I asked where she got the motivation from to follow thru and make the amazing changes. After talking for a while, she said the sweetest thing to me. She said, "Shelley, it took a lot of time. And ya know, maybe for you, it just might not be the season for you. It might not be the season of life. Enjoy your children." It was so heartfelt- we then laughed about our lives and she reminisced about how crazy she used to be and look when her sons were my children's age.

What she doesn't know is that when we got off the phone, I cried. It wasn't because I was upset, or sad, or down. It was because someone had basically said, "Shelley, I have been there. I know how you feel. And maybe you should just enjoy the moment and not worry about it. It took me ten years to be at a place to do this." It was because someone who understands me, someone I look up to, and someone that really wants the best for me genuinely said, "It's okay. I've been there, I get it, and it's just okay."

I can't tell you what peace I felt. The woman I admire so much told me "she gets it" and has been there. I think I felt a natural high for the next few hours.

And then something happened.

Those very words have become my very own inspiration. "It may not be the season." I love my family and children with all of my being- but how dare I say it's not the "season" for me. Why should I have to wait to feel good about the way I look? Why should I wait ten years to finally get my eating under control? Why should I just throw in the towel and surrender?

And since then, I've been in the gym, eating better, and motivated. This IS the season of change. And I can't wait to make strides and follow in Kathryne's footsteps- only I hope that it's way before my son goes off to college- and with her help, I'm on my way.:)

2012!!!

2011-12-30T17:49:00.000-08:00

When we were younger, we always made New Years Resolutions- but the past few years, I bandwagoned with tons of other people and said Resolutions are for the birds. Ya know, the whole philosophy about why make goals one time a year when you should have them all the time. And why make a goal that you know you aren't going to achieve or see through.

But this year, I'm changing things up. Instead of crapping out so that I don't set my self up for failure and thinking:

If you don't try, you can't fail~

I've decided to set myself up for success by at least trying:

You can't succeed if you don't try!

So here they are folks... my 2012 New Years Resolutions- on the record.:)

1) Reach my 140's on the scale. I don't care if it's 149.999- I just want the first two digits of my weight to be 14. I know that still seems high to some, but look folks, I'm a five niner.:) And I also know that we shouldn't worry about what the number is on the scale- but I'm a woman, and it matters dammit.

2) Wash my face at night. I know, I totally should be doing this and I'm paying for all those years that I haven't... but let me tell ya- It's a lot easier to lick my finger and just get the black off from underneath my eyes and head out the door in the morning to take my daughter to preschool then to reapply my "face". Oh well, maybe this will also teach me that beauty is only skin deep and I don't need my gobs of goo at.all.times.:)

3) Break 25 minutes in a 5k. I'm not a runner... but running is a challenge and I'm up for it. Bring on the races.

4) Complete the Smith Mountain Lake triathlon. God-willing. We re-joined a gym with a pool so that I can work on my stroke... I mean learn to swim.:) Ya know how you have things on your bucket list- well, this is one of mine. There's this little voice inside me telling me that I still can be active. This year I want to find my inner-athlete.

5) Have family pictures taken- no.matter.what. Year after year, I put this off because I'm vain and want to look good in the picture. I've come to realize that my friends and family truly don't care how I look- it's just my own issue.

6) Read to my children every night. Sounds so simple... and honestly we usually do this most nights. But, I will admit, some evenings I'm so tired, worn out, and ready to just chill by myself that I catch myself getting mad at the kids before bedtime and taking away books before bed for no real reason at all- except for the fact that it should probably be mommy that deserves the time out. When I skimp out on books, I ususally kiss and pray over the children while they asleep. I want them to remember me as the mommy that read, snuggled, and prayed with them every night.:)

7) Give it up more. Ha! For real though... Learn to love my body, and let my hubby love it more and more like he wants.:) I'm lucky to have a hubby that loves me for me and I shouldn't get hung up on my roll or flab jiggling. All-out sex is always worth the effort in the end over a "Oh, honey, just stick it in night." Now the resolution is to remember that when I'm tired, haven't shaved, and need a shower. LOL.

8) To show people how I love them. My Nanny didn't have text, she didn't have Facebook, she didn't have e-mail... none of this crap. These days, it's so easy to hide behind technology instead of living life as we should. This year I want to work on showing those that I care about how I feel. I want to bake a cake for a friend, send a card in the mail, flake out less on playdates when I'm overwhelmed, and live to love. And more than anything, I want to be how my Nanny was to me to others.

9) To worry less, laugh more, and not care that I have dirty floors. Last time I checked, dirty laundry and a pair of shoes by the front door never killed anyone. Work on my OCD.:)

10) To make 2012 the year I got my groove back- The year I finally beat my weight problem, and the year that I put off trying for a baby because of the way I look...

Wish me luck.:)

What a difference a year makes...

2011-12-24T11:50:00.000-08:00

All I want for Christmas is you...
The shining star is missing from our Christmas tree, but it has been replaced by the most amazing angel ever.

"You tell them that our lives can change with every breath we take... and tell 'em to hold on like hell to what they've got: each other."
-Novalee, Where the Heart Is

My Nanny

2011-12-14T17:40:00.000-08:00

December 14, 2011~ A day that part of me went missing.

It's true. Words cannot describe.

What Means the Most

2011-12-11T06:38:00.000-08:00

I never win anything. But today in a raffle at my brother's work, I won a Coach purse. Not just any Coach purse- a real leather not even from the factory store purse, matching wallet, a Coach bangle bracelet, and a scarf. Normally, I would've snapped a picture and statused that right up on Facebook- but not today.

Today, I went to the hospital to sit by one of the most important people in my life- my grandma- or "Nanny" as I've called her for the last 33 years of my life. Nanny took a hard fall and broke her arm, shattered her hip, and has since developed pneumonia and is in the ICU as I type. We are hoping for the best but praying- because I can't even imagine life without our matriarch around.

Nanny is everything to me. She's all of 4'11" and probably only stands 4'8" due to osteoporosis, but she rules our world. She always has. If you weren't at Nanny's house on Sunday for dinner, you were on her shit list- and she'd let ya know it.

It's crazy. She's the person I admire most, yet, we are so very different. She's short, and I'm tall. She weighs under 100 pounds and we have to force food down her throat- and well, I'm blogging on a weight loss blog. She's always been content with nothing, and I struggle with this every day of my life. She caters to her husband's every need- never has once gone to bed without him, has served him food at every meal every single day of his life, and lives to make him happy. And let's just say she points out that I might need to improve in this department- and makes me take a piece of cake home to my hubby every time I leave her house.:)

Nanny was born on the land where Broad Run High School stands today. She's a true Farmer's daughter- and was married on that land late one evening before my grandfather returned to war- the very same land that my mother went to high school on, and where I graduated. My grandparents lived to serve. In fact, while at the hospital, the Sterling Ruritan Club had already sent flowers. My grandfather worked hard to build one of the most respected home remodeling companies in the D.C. area- that did renovations for presidents, newscasters, and even good 'ole Ollie North. And yet, my grandmother could have cared less. Every morning she would pack his lunch before sending him off to work, and Pappy knew he had to return at night with his paper bag and plastic utensils for Nanny to reuse the next morning. I've been at my grandparent's house when a Senator stopped in to visit his dear friends, and my grandma didn't miss a beat. He left, and I was amazed at who had just dropped by and my Nanny said, "What? His ass stinks just the same as mine does." That's just how my grandma is- feisty and stubborn, gentle and loving, compassionate and giving- and I wish I posessed so many of these traits.

While I could write forever about Nanny, I'm not. Emotional doesn't even begin to describe it right now. Have you ever been in a situation where you supress your feelings because you know if you let them out, it's not gonna be good? Think tidal wave.

So for the moment, I will trust in God. I will pray. And I will hope that my family stays strong.

And what I'll always remember about today was that I had the most amazing conversation while bedside with my Nanny. I asked questions like how she made her sugar cookies. I knew she was tired and in pain, but while she was talking, as Tyra Banks says- she was smiling with her eyes, so I knew it was all right. She told me how she got that sugar glaze on her sugar cookies- by dipping them in cream and patting them down in sugar. She told me how she used "to make 300 cookies"- And that's when I told her we used to sneak them. She then smiled and said, "You weren't sneaking- I knew it." And she probably did.

What I'll remember about today is when I told Nanny that we all loved her so much, and she said, "I know it- that's the hardest part." And during that single moment, everything felt o.k.. My family loves. We love hard and the most important part of it all is that we all know it. There will never be any regrets about my grandma knowing that we loved her. Nanny has taught us all how to live and most importantly how to love.

And today is the day that above anything else- I'll pride myself on one of my biggest accomplishments. I've realized that I'm more like Elizabeth Sue Smith than I ever knew. There is no question in my life about what really means the most. And today, that Coach purse didn't mean a thing.

My Dream...

2011-12-07T08:12:00.000-08:00

The other day when someone asked me
"Are you living your dream?"
I didn't know what to say,
I honestly had to think.
I try to be so many places at the same time
Every day a million things cluttering up my mind.
Another feather falling off my wings
I climb so high it gets hard to breathe
Forget to remember, what I really need.

I listen to this song by Colbie Caillet nearly every morning driving home from dropping my daughter off at preschool. And each morning, (after a 15 minute car ride home- ha!) I honestly end up with the same resounding answer... Yes. I'm living my dream.

Well, I take that back. In my dream world, I'd be 35 pounds lighter, would have had a shower, would be riding in a clean car instead of my messy DVD and sippy cup filled minivan, and I wouldn't have just gotten mean on the cell phone and referred to my hubby as a tyrant when we were discussing the end of our Christmas budget (Love ya baby).

And if you really want to get down to it, in my dream life life, I'd be living in an old farm house- Think Reese Witherspoon in The Man In The Moon. I'd have a squeaky front door that slams in the fresh, cool breeze and I'd be a breeder- Not as in farm animals, but as in kids. I'd have lots and lots of ragamuffin kids running around... and speaking of animals, I might even have a rooster and some chickens. I wouldn't want for anything and I'd be happy and in love in a shack like Goldie Hawn in Overboard. I'd look forward to a monthly Friday night barn dance where I danced with my hubby under white Christmas Tree lights like Sandra Bullock in Hope Floats. We'd begin our mornings with scripture. Oh, and in my free time, I'd volunteer... like Angelina in a far away country. I'd be doing mission work with kids, wouldn't wear an ounce of make-up, and I'd sport my hair in hippie braids. I'd make all of our food from earthy ingredients... think Paleo crossed with the Pioneer Woman and I'd use my extra canning jars to catch lightning bugs. I'd be cruising around in a beat up rickety truck and I'd let the tailgate down and a gaggle of kids would come pouring out to fly their June bugs from a string.

Not that I dream about this or have it planned out or anything... So yes, that's my dream... but the truth is, eventhough that's what I would dream my life to be, I've come to realize that it just might not be me afterall. I think I would go nuts if my farmhouse wasn't renovated, I am so not an animal person, and we all know that I love me some gooped on make-up. I am a fan of Mickey D's and eventhough I dream of riding in a rickety truck, it might be more like I'm on a search for a beat-up Chevy in a field so we can sit on the tailgate for an artistic family portrait. Although I haven't ruled out the mission work once my kids leave my nest...

The truth is, I honestly believe that I'm right where I'm supposed to be. I love my life. But as the song says, "Sometimes I forget to remember, what I really need."

From here on out, my goal is to care. To care less. With Christmas quickly approaching, this holiday season, I'm going to remember how simple my country fantasy is. I'm tossing out the obsession of having perfectly wrapped presents that coordinate with my living room. I'm going to take the time to talk about advent with my children, to read scripture as a family, and to remember what the season is really about. We're going to buy from an angel tree and my kids are going to help pick out something for someone in need. And I'm not going to stress about having perfect brother/sister outfits... I mean really- I'm not buying black dress shoes for my son to just wear one time with his outfit. I'll live if he's in tennis shoes.

So while I live in the hustle and bustle of Northern Virginia, the only thing I would change about my dream life, life would be to one day feel completely content with myself. To not feel like I have to be Reese, Sandra, Goldie, or Angelina. I don't want to feel like I have to be better, skinnier, holier, or anything -er. I never want to have to think about the question- Are you living your dream? Because it's me that determines the answer. And right now, I'm feeling pretty darn good... extra pounds and all.

The title of Colbie's song is "What Means the Most", and when it comes down to it, I'm surrounded by what means the most to me every day. My family.:)

Thankful. Grateful. Blessed.
Gym date at 4.:)
Happy Holidays!

Here I go again...

2011-11-21T18:47:00.000-08:00

I don't know where I'm goin
but I sure know where I've been
hanging on the promises in songs of yesterday.
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time
but here I go again, here I go again.

Tho' I keep searching for an answer
I never seem to find what I'm looking for.
Oh Lord, I pray you give me strength to carry on 'cos I know what it means to walk along the lonely street of dreams.

Here I go again on my own
goin' down the only road I've ever known.
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone.
An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time.

Who knew a little Whitesnake could be so appropriate for a weight loss blog?

So, I took a well needed break and was M.I.A. for a bit. Did ya miss me? I wasn't planning on returning any time soon... but I didn't think I'd miss blogging like I do.

To be honest, I was feeling like quite the failure blogging over and over about a new gimmick or a new challenge that I was going to start... tomorrow. Tomorrow was always going to be the day, but months went by and tomorrow never came.

I don't blog for money- I have none. I don't blog for notoriety- I even pulled my blog from I Am Modern because I just don't feel the need to have random peeps knowing how I piss my pants or long for a boob job. I've practically failed out of Blogger 101- I don't have a twitter account, don't do one thing to promote my blog, and even still use blogger (a major faux pas) to blog. Some women go to Weight Watchers meetings, some go to AA, some shop for therapy, some see shrinks- Let's just face it, we are living souls with issues. All of us. And crazy enough, this very blog right here has become my accountability and a source of sanity. I've made friendships, received encouragement, developed heartfelt bonds, vented, cried, and done everything in between on this blog for almost two years. I'm a woman with weight issues and plain and simple- I long to lose weight. I long to feel pretty. I long to love myself and be happy with the outside to have a complete inside. Many people just don't get it... But if you read, I can imagine that you do.

An' I've made up my mind, I ain't wasting no more time.

Here I go again, baby.:)

Tricks But No Treats

2011-10-31T11:09:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween!!!

Picking out costumes is a big thing in the McCullers household. Every year, the first week of October, my hubby and I head to Party City armed with our $10 off coupon and tell the kids to have at it and pick out a costume... It's done... and over with- and another stressor that I don't have to worry about.

This year, I'll be parading around with a blue ninja and Super Girl... both oh so tacky... but I'd say they are a step up from my costumes growing up- Let's just say creating Halloween costumes wasn't my mom's forte. I don't know which was worse- The year she made my head a centerpiece of flowers and put a cardboard box over my head adorned with a tablecloth and glued on place settings- Unique- but a total bust since I was taller than all my friends and no one knew what I was... Or the year she put fake blood all over my brother who was really in a body cast from a car crash and had him be an accident victim...

Halloween night is all about listening to your mom. Ya know... walk on the sidewalk, enough with the candy, don't run ahead of me, make sure you say please and thank you... And tonight, I'm going to try my best to let my own mom play through my head... again and again and again. For once, I'm going to let her have the last word. Sometimes, ya just wish you could go back and listen to your mom.

I wish I had listened to my mom when she told me to quit dipping my fries in mayonaise and that I was going to regret it one day. And I wish I had listened to my mom when she gave me the go ahead to wear a french cut one piece bathing suit saying, "Ya better wear it now because you won't always be able to wear it."

And if there are any younger chicks that happen to read this blog... Listen to me- If you are still young and beautiful- use Halloween to live it up. Buy that skanky vortex costume and flaunt what your mama gave ya. Because before long, you will turn into a houswife and drool over that back wall of adult costumes. You might even dream of fitting your body into one of those costumes... Like the airline stewardess to shock your hubby... but it just doesn't look the same on a roly poly. And trust me... there will come a day when you'll be invited to a crazy adult's only costume party, but politely decline because you'd rather save on a babysitter and feel good the next morning... So do it now...

And Chris and Addie... Let's have fun tonight... and please... Listen to this mama!:)

Thought of the day...

2011-10-29T14:24:00.000-07:00

I've started running again. Slow.as.molasses. It's sad... I even drive to a neighborhood that is ten minutes away because it's flat, and well, my hood is pretty much a mountain. Hey, whatever works.

As I was running, I started thinking about just how much I have to lose. Imagine running with a five pound dumbbell. Then imagine running with a ten pounder. Even that little bit of extra weight sucks. Imagine running with a whole plate- minus ten or so pounds. I struggle to be able to just lift one of them. Now, imagine dropping that weight from your body and going for a run. Dude, I bet I could really run!!!

I have a long way to go, but I know how to get there... Step by step, I'm on my way.:)

Oh, and I splurged and bought a pair of $5 leggings today at Tar-jay. That's one style that even moms are getting away with these days. But as my mama always says... They don't look good on a gal when it looks like two dirt roads are leading to a four-lane highway. I've gotta at least turn my arse into a neighborhood street.:)

The Answer You've Been Searching For!

2011-10-27T14:16:00.000-07:00

Weight Watchers works. Jenny Craig works. Nutri System works. Going Paleo works. Physician's Weight Loss Center works. Body For Life works.

They all work.

LA Boxing works. Personal Trainers work. Pilates works. Yoga works. Jillian Michael's 30-day shred works. P90X works.

They all work.

If you do them.

Starting tomorrow fails you. Pigging out is not going to make you feel better. Skipping that class isn't going to make you stronger.

Any plan will work- as long as you stick to it and are dedicated. Pick something, and quit searching for that magic shake, that magic pill, and for the miracle to happen.

Start believing in yourself, and the rest will follow. It's not always going to be easy. There will be times when it sucks and you want to quit, cry, and give up.

But in the end, it will all be worth it.

Made to Crave

2011-10-23T19:35:00.000-07:00

Have you ever read something that just REALLY hit home? Like really. When someone literally says exactly what you do or how you feel... even to the point where you wonder if someone has been videotaping your life and making money off of you? Today, that happened to me.

My mother-in-law handed me the book Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst, and literally everything I read is touching me. It's almost freaky... the author even states that the night before she visited a nutritionist she scarfed down Chef Boyardee Pizza- her childhood favorite- pizza from a box. This was and still is my fave. That and raw RagaMuffin mix- hmmmm Do we see a pattern here- processed food from boxes?

I can't wait to continue reading this book- It's very Christain based, and I love it- and would reccomend it to anyone- Here is an excerpt that I could have written word for word:

I roll over and look at the clock. Another day. Beyond all reason and rationality, I slide out of bed and strip off everything that might weigh even the slightest ounce as I head to the scale. Maybe today will be the day the scale will be my friend and not reveal my secrets. Maybe somehow overnight the molecular structure of my body shifted and today I will magically weigh less.

But no. I yank out my ponytail holder- hey, it's gotta weigh something- and decide to try again. But the scale doesn't change its mind the second time. It is not my friend this day.

Vowing to do better, eat healthier, and make good choices, I head to the kitchen only to have my resolve melt like the icing on the cinnamon rolls my daughter just pulled from the oven. Yum. Oh, who cares what the scale says when this roll speaks such love and deliciousness.

Two and a half cinnamon rolls later, I decide tomorrow will be a much better day to keep my promises to eat healthier. And since this is my last day to eat what I want, I beter live it up. Another cinnamon roll please.

The next morning I roll over and look at the clock. Another day. Beyond all reason and rationality, I slide out of bed and strip off everything that might weigh even the slightest ounce as I head to the scale. Maybe today will be the day. But once again it isn't. I yank out my ponytail holder and try again. But no.

Vowing to do better, eat healthier, and make good choices, I head into my day only to find myself making more excuses, rationalizations, and promises for later.

Always later.

And the cycle I've come to hate and feel powerless to stop continues. Who could I talk to about this? If I admit my struggle with food to my friends, they might try to hold me accountable the next time we go out. And what if I'm not in the mood to be questioned about my nachos con queso with extra sour cream?

I'll just tell them I'll be starting on Monday, and they'll be fine with it. They don't think I need to make changes.

But I did need to make changes. I knew it. Because this wasn't really about the scale or what clothing size I was; it was about the battle that raged in my heart. I thought, craved, arranged my life too much around food. So much so, I knew it was something God was challenging me to surrender to His control. Really surrender. Surrender to the point where I'd make radical changes for the sake of my spiritual health perhaps even more than my physical health.

Business Network International

2011-10-19T09:09:00.000-07:00

My cover was blown from the very beginning. I dropped my daughter off at preschool and was showered and dressed with my (fake-shhh) pearls on instead of looking like I had just rolled out of bed. The staff knew I had something to do... and that was so true.

This morning, I was invited to attend a BNI. Trust me- I'm 100% positive it wasn't because I am a stay-at-home mommy... Although these groups should strongly consider having a goal of inviting 5 sahm's to each meeting because trust me, we sure know how to spend our hubby's money and we are great at supporting services. For example- I met Tom Boley of Red Oak Hollow Lathe Works who is a master woodworker and now has me pining over a new staircase. He held up a custom whittled baluster and I know that would turn my cookie cutter staircase into a wow piece... It has me thinking that my dream of rod iron is so old school.

When I pulled up to the meeting, I noticed that every car in the parking lot had magnetic signs on their cars advertising their business. These peeps are movers and shakers... and perhaps, that, coupled with the help of networking groups such as a BNI, are how businesses are able to stay afloat and actually thrive and prosper during down times.

I walked in, nervous as could be... soooo far out of my comfort zone. Luckily, Brian Du Plessis, Certified Mortgage Planner with George Mason Mortgage, spotted me and I think he could sense that I was about to cry and that my tail was sweating. He introduced himself, cracked a few jokes, asked if I was around 25 (I'm hoping that wasn't another joke), and within a matter of minutes had me at ease and wanting to re-fi my house with him. And suddenly, the meeting wasn't that bad. Trust me, I was totally feeling like I was rushing a sorority all over again being passed from person to person... but this go around, the people seemed genuine.:)

If you are like me and have no clue what a BNI group is, Business Network International are groups that provide a positive, supportive, structured environment for the development and exchange of quality business referrals. In real terms, it's a group of people that network with one another for the sake of their livelihood. And by just attending one meeting, I "get" it... and see why they are worth the small fee where you "pay to play."

Revenue
Each BNI group has goals... I attended the Blue Ridge Business Alliance group in Purcellville and they set out to earn an x amount of money every year off of referrals from their click alone- and it wasn't a small number. It's amazing how when people come together with a common goal how easily it works. For example, lets start with Long and Foster Realtor, Kristine Condie. She seemed super funny and successful at what she does, so let's say she sells a home. She then refers her clients to Ron Kuykendall of HM Services to complete a home inspection. The new homeowners need a welcoming present- so Mia Tremblay of Willow House then gets a sale by putting together a basket of personalized home decor items. With every new home comes the extra bill of homeowner's insurance, so John Goldsmith, a State Farm Agent steps in to help. While at the meeting, Scott Kinney, owner of Shamrock Music Shoppe, realizes he needs insurance because he is holding a huge Halloween event to help the quaint town feeling of Purcellville. When he mentions he needs sponsors, Lara Ward from Yoga for Life mentions that she will be a sponsor and looks forward to holding a group yoga demonstration at the event... and then Sara Lewis, personal trainer and owner of Mix Fitness pipes up and thanks Lara for sharing her Yoga studio space and for partnering for a successful boot camp incorporating both of their specialties. Wa-lah. This is for real, it's no joke. What they say works... "Giver's Gain." Oh... and not to mention, this group has a lady from 92.5 Winc FM, Tammy Stevenson, and let's just face it- She gets cool points and everyone wants to be her friend- I mean, she works for a radio station!:)

Constructive Criticism
BNI's come together to be truthful with its members and to always display a positive and supportive attitude. It was obvious that brainstorming occurs and that everyone there is looking out for the common good of one another. For example, when I introduced myself to another professional, and sheepishly said, I'm "kind-of" a writer, she looked at me and said, "Do you write?" and I said, "Yes," to which she strongly and confidently said, "Then you ARE a writer." Point taken- and I will always remember those words of wisdom.

Dream Big
In order to further one's self and to continue making gains, one must believe in their product and service. As we went around the room, each individual would say someone they would like to have a connection to. From what I could tell, I bet most of these connections are made... kind of like the whole Kevin Bacon thing. Someone in that very room is going to know someone who is going to know someone, and so on. When I listened to Lisa Cammarota, owner of Gotcha Covered, specializing in Blinds, Shutters, and more, I noticed that as a professional woman, she thinks outside of the box. Instead of seeking your next door neighbor for a sale, she is out to be in touch with stores such as Harris Teeter and large-scale companies needing commercial design. Interesting. Set your goals high.

Inner Circle
BNI's kind of live out the "I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine" philosophy. But think about it... you are only going to scratch someone's back if you trust them. These groups are made up of honest, caring individuals, not greedy and seedy mega-corporations. It was interesting to see a local electrician speak about his company. Alan Courtemanche of Brothers Electric Service noted how when you contract with his company it will literally be he or his brother Mike that shows up at your door. This is a prime example of how when you find the right group, it's easy to pimp out your new found friend's services... because there is no question about the integrity of who you are working with.

Commraderie
BNI's do require a time commitment. Many require attendance at a weekly meeting and dues. But after attending, it was easy to see why one would want to invest their time in a network such as this. Who doesn't enjoy a cup of joe with like minded people in a positive environment? It appeared to be a great way to stay focused and geared towards your goals.

Purcellville's BNI chapter is growing and seeking new members. If you are interested in learning more about a BNI group, please visit www.bninova.com or contact your local BNI Regional Office.

Driving home, I realized that maybe I shouldn't have thrown my retirement party so early when I chose to stay home. I have never, ever thought about the need to network or form connections. But I Am Modern has given me legitimacy and opened my eyes to so many things. Maybe, just maybe, my path is still unwritten.

If I had a chance to re-do my 45 second introduction today, it might go more like this:

My name is Shelley McCullers, and I am a freelance writer for the wonderful magazine I Am Modern. I'm a writer and that's what I love to do. I love to help others and I love people. Everyone here has a story, and I love to tell it. I'd love to meet other's in the writing industry and my deep secret is that one day, this local gal would love to be a reporter for the Loudoun Times Mirror... Keep that in mind.:) And in the next year or so, once I put both children on the big yellow school bus- as long as I don't pop out another baby in the near future- I hope to be able to shower and be able to pull it all together every morning. And when that time comes, I'd be honored to be a part of a BNI like this great group.

Body For Life Champion: Mary Queen Johnson

2011-10-08T20:01:00.000-07:00

If you are a close friend of mine, you probably know that I've been trying to do a "Body For Life" challenge for oh, let's say twelve years. Body for Life was a program/book written by Bill Phillips and it used to have a contest where you could take a before picture holding a newspaper so you could vouch for when you started and twelve weeks later, you would take an "after" picture. Supposedly, if you follow the program, you can completely transform your figure.

I however, don't know if that's true or not. I will say that for many years of my life, this contest caused marital strife for me. Ya see, when you are broke, and there aren't such things as digital cameras, and you feel the need to "start fresh" and take new "before" pictures every.single.week and you buy $7.99 disposable cameras weekly, only to never get pass week two in your challenge, you'd get to the point where every time you asked your other half to take a before picture you'd need to promise a sexual favor... or at least swear, "I promise, this will be the last time, honey. I'm going to do it."

I can guarantee you that I have attempted this challenge at least fifty times... and that's probably on the low side. My mom even made a file of "body for life" pictures... I would wash off my make-up, make my hair look awful, make a sick face, slouch over, and poke my tummy out to try to get the worst possible "before" picture ever. And the sad thing is, I would "kill" to look like this now! Ha! Check out some of these oldies, but goodies:

Hilarious. Well, truth be told, I was super skinny back then, but I had gained a little weight. I was convinced that I could win this competition. And I dreamed of being Mary.

“When I began the Challenge, I was like a lot of new mothers: out of shape, tired and uninspired,” Mary says. Having never lifted weights before or followed a nutrition plan, Mary approached the Challenge by “taking baby steps and keeping everything simple.” When Mary started the Program she weighed 148 pounds with 29.5 percent body fat. Now she weighs 135 pounds with 15.5 percent body fat. “I have never had more energy in my life! I could not be more enthusiastic about my physical results. I can’t get through a workout without someone coming up to me and asking what I am doing to achieve such fantastic results,” Mary says.

Ya know what they say, there's just something about Mary. Who is she, ya might ask? Mary Queen Johnson won the Body for Life challenge in 1999. She went from a new mom to a cover girl- literally, gracing the cover of Muscle Media Magazine. And... let me not leave out- She won $100,000. I used to have her pictures on my fridge and want to look like her. And she made such an impression on me that this week while I was wallowing in my frumpiness and growing boot-tay, I thought to myself... I wonder where Mary is... And most importantly, if I put my heart and soul into a twelve week program, Does she even believe in it? Was this whole "Body for Life" thing real? Or a sham?

So, what's a girl to do? You know me, the world is at my fingertips... I turned psycho stalker chick and googled her, and within thirty seconds was e-mailing "the" Mary that I admired so much. Yep, just a little scary what ya can do with the internet... but Luckily for me, I didn't freak her out too much. In fact, she was such a sweetheart, she even offered up her cell phone number, and was an open book of advice.

When she first e-mailed me back, what stood out most was this: "The success of this plan is really done in the kitchen." Bleh. Not what I wanted to hear... but maybe what I needed to hear.

Some things don't need to be changed... so I'm just cutting and pasting some of Mary's answers. She says "like" just like me and I think there's even an OMG in here. If you are in my situation, so much of this is what you need to hear and take to heart. And when it comes from someone that has been in our situation and seems so honest, sincere, and willing to help, it's suddenly so much clearer...

Did you gain confidence/experience life changes through the process?
Totally! I truly believe I am where I am because of BFL and fitness. Everything good that has happened to me seems to be within 8 degrees of the gym and fitness…kinda like the Kevin Bacon thing.

Were you always athletic or did this set you on that fitness path?
I had never been athletic! (and I mean NEVER!) I was a member of a gym in my 20’s but never went. If I did go…I would take like a step class and go home. Maybe like once a month. I had NEVER darkened the door of the weight room!!! I had never eaten healthy or on any kind of plan. I was a true novice. I was telling my husband that prior to BFL I had only held those little 5lb rubber coated hand weights they had in the aerobics room. Now there is barely an exercise or piece of equipment in the weight room that I am not familiar with. This is definitely what set me on my fitness path and fitness has changed and permeated everything in my life since BFL.

Have you had any relapses or gained weight since you won the challenge?
Yes of course. I have had 2 children since BFL and aged 10 years. Things change. During both of my pregnancies I worked out until I could no longer do it comfortably. I still gained weight and my body changed like all Mommy’s with thighs rubbing together (a very weird feeling) and fat rolls in places I never knew possible. I had cravings that I indulged and had times when I was lazy and tired after the baby was born and did not want to go to the gym (and didn’t go!!). I had to work hard after each one to get back to where I wanted to be and I still have work to do! It was not always natural to me to work that hard but I found once I would get started I would feel so good and if I broke it down to 12 weeks I sort of felt like I could do anything necessary for 12 weeks. If it took me 10 months to wreck it and 3 months to fix it then it was possible and doable. That is why I am doing another 12 weeks right now.

What did you do to persevere?
I never really like how I feel when I am out of shape. It was so awesome after completing and winning BFL because I was 30 and in the best shape of my life!!! I could rock the tiniest bikini or the cutest clothes and had no limitations. I was confident that I looked great whether naked J or clothed. That was one of the best feelings in the world and I have never forgotten it. I do not like feeling the other way... Unable to wear what I want, having to work hard to find things that are flattering on me, struggling to be in a bathing suit or buy jeans…no fun! I use that “feeling” as motivation to persevere. I HATE FEELING LIMITED…that keeps me going!

What time of day do you fit in working out with being a mom, realtor, etc?
I work out in the morning. I have a flexible schedule with work but I find if I don’t go ahead and do it in the am…other things try to take over my day- Sick kids, clients, housework or work-work. I have to come next after everyone gets to where they need to be. I always say to myself, “Do this first so you have something to give to everyone else that depends on you!!!” Words to live by I think.

Did you use any supplements during the challenge?
Myoplex Lite Shakes or Bars, Betagen, Fat Burners, Multi-vitamin. Now? Still use Myoplex Lite Shakes. Supreme Protein Bars (taste like candy…AMAZING)

How do you feel about fat burners, etc?
I think they worked back in the day but now…not so much. They were dangerous back then but we did not know it. I don’t take them now at all.

I've heard that sometimes you don't see changes until week 8, etc... Was that the case for you?
I saw a little (and I mean little)change at 4 weeks but nothing prior to that. I remember feeling so frustrated about that. The biggest change did happen suddenly at 8 weeks and like gangbusters between then and week 12!

Any words of advice?
Take small steps. Just take it one day at a time. Ask/tell yourself:
What will I eat right now and making the right choice in that one moment rather than thinking OMG I have to make great choices for 12 weeks. It makes the choice in that moment so much easier.
Set a time to exercise…WRITE IT IN YOUR SCHEDULE IN INK! Do everything you can to keep and protect that time no matter what. Make sure your husband is supportive of that time being yours because ultimately he will benefit too. Happy wife equals VERY happy husband. If that means he has to put the kids to bed so you can go at night or whatever. Support is imperative if you have kids. They are wonderful but they will totally take that time from you and think nothing of it…meanwhile it robs you of achieving your goal. Planning and preparation are key! This pertains to food and exercise. Nutrition is not something you can do successfully on the fly. You must prepare your meals and have them ready otherwise I am certain you will fail.

How much of your transformation was emotional?
Soooooo much of it was emotional. Earlier I talked about feeling a certain way. Everything changed. Can ya tell I'm in a huge rut right now? Yes but that is ok…it happens. What is important is whether you do something to get out of it. You cannot live in a rut. Think of it literally and it will help you see that you must do everything possible to get out of it and begin some forward momentum. Ruts are not meant to be permanent dwelling places!!!

Love.it.all. And so, for the first time in my life, I WILL complete my own twelve week challenge. It's not about the money,money,money... It's about that feeling of being confident and loving who I am. I'm finally ready for all of the right reasons.

Mary Queen Johnson currently lives in North Carolina with her family and works as a realtor. She continues to inspire many and also has her own amazing "Blind Side" story that can be seen here:

http://www.rachaelrayshow.com/show/segments/view/familys-emblind-sideem-experience/

Reason 3,187 to Exercise

2011-10-05T12:11:00.001-07:00

I haven't blogged about this because, well, ya know... I do keep some things private.:) I've been battling high blood pressure and today in spin class, I thought I was going to stroke out. I finished the class, called my hubby, and drove to CVS to take my blood pressure. Not good. I guess this is what happens when you take 7 months off from exercise.:(

So, yes, there are vain reasons of why I want to lose weight... like today I was thinking of how I can't wait until the day where I can just raise my shirt to wipe the sweat off my face without worrying if my flabby rolls are jiggling for all to see and grossing people out. It's the little things.

But there's also BIG reasons why I need to eat better and workout. I need to be around for my children, my family, my everything. And 33 is way too young to have to worry about that. Can we say wake-up call?

What kind of mom are you?

2011-09-27T10:56:00.000-07:00

Cosmo and Glamour seem like foreign reads to me nowadays... and they used to be my bible. But when on a girl's weekend sans children with younger gals, I happened to pick one up. I was reminded why I don't read them anymore... Between sippy cups and bedtime stories, I'm doing good just to get mine a couple days a week, so I really don't think I need to read an article about how young women have the time to groom their areas all day for a night of passion. Thanks, but No thanks. And by the way, a little overgrowth never killed anyone.

I can't say my time chillin' with the mag was a complete waste. Who knew there was an i-phone app that gives you daily kegal exercises in a mere two minutes--- and women swear you can reap the rewards by reclaiming virgin sex... And the magazine took me back to the days where I'd live for a multiple choice questionnaire that I thought at the time could tell me who I was- Ya know like give me all the answers about if I was a nurturer or needed to be nicer. I used to LOVE those questionnaires... and would really love when I had gotten a magazine from a friend and she had already circled her juicy answers- Score!:)

It got me thinking... What kind of questionnaire would relate to my life now? And since I was hungover on the beach having extreme mommy guilt, all I could come up with was, "What type of mommy are you?"

I used to think I had it all figured out. I was the mack daddy stay-at-home mom. I didn't see how a woman could bear to leave her children- even for a few hours. But let me just tell ya- I am so far over that. As a mom, the first few years are a blur- One often gets so caught up on if you are the best parent, with the most well-behaved baby, with the cutest nursery and so on. You catch yourself lying about how great of a sleeper your baby is, and stretching when they met milestones by just a hair. And you easily become opinionated about other mom's. Sometimes it's enough to ruin friendships. Sad, but true. I mean, if you dog on someone else's parenting, or even make a sly comment, those are fighting words.

When you turn to google to figure out your parenting style, you might even end up more disgusted. Thousands of articles are out there that stereotype and categorize we as mothers. Every website from Oprah to Parenting has quizzes and checklists to help you form your mommy philosophy. Parenting even has a quiz that states, "Where do you fall on the parenting spectrum? How do you compare to your partner or your best friend? Take the test for them and see your results side by side." Sickening.

As a stay-at-home mom, I can't deny that I get caught up in the whole ode to mommyhood thing. Am I doing enough to go organic? Am I teaching my daughter how it is to be a strong woman in the working world by relying on my husband to provide? Are my children going to be slobs because I forever look like I just worked out donned in my gym clothes? Should I be working? And the list goes on. But when it comes down to it, every.single.situation has pros and cons. Working mom, stay-at-home mom, work at home mom- There are advantages and disadvantages of each. And if you meet a mom that swears she's doing the whole mommy thing without fail... I hate to break it to ya, she's lying.

I'm over it. If I had to take on an identity, I wouldn't be the alarmist mom, the stage mom, the know-it-all mom, the professional mom, or the soccer mom. In fact, for the first time in my life, I don't need the validity of a Cosmo quiz to tell me what I am. And at the end of the day, I think this world would be a lot better place if we as mom's all chose (D), None of the above.

For after all is said and done, I just choose to be Mom. Plain, old Mom. I'm just a girl trying to raise my children the best that I can. I'm doing it in the manner that works best for my family and my family alone. I love my babies with all of my heart and always will. I make mistakes, experience guilt, and realize that there are better story readers, tucker-inners, and boo-boo kissers out there than I am. But at the end of the day, I'm trying my damnedest- and giving it my best shot. Because that's what we mom's do.

There's no right or wrong answer... so don't go spying on my quiz. We're in this together ladies. Mom Power.:)

Party Rock In The House Tonight...

2011-09-26T11:23:00.001-07:00

Everyday I'm shufflin', shufflin', shufflin'... I'm shufflin' kids to school, to football, to gymnastics, to softball... from here to there and everywhere. So,to make life seem just a little more interesting, I've decided to start calling the gym the club. Some people do that ya know. In my head, I think I'll make it there this way more often... It doesn't sound like a chore... but more like a fun place to go. And today, it was.

I took a spin class and man did it feel good. An entire hour to myself, full of good tunes where I can just sweat it all out. The teachers and the schedule have both stayed the exact same as two and a half years ago. And so has the adrenaline rush I get from finishing a class.:)

Grossest thing in the entire world... Being in the middle of class and realizing someone has a shirt on that stayed in the washer for way too long. The smell can knock you over. It may or may not have been me. But the next time the hubby lectures me on how I need to switch the laundry, I don't think I'll chirp back something smart. Just sayin.

Seasons Change

2011-09-23T07:33:00.000-07:00

Today is the first day of Autumn... And as the leaves begin to change and pumpkins and mums grace my front porch, I feel as though the season of my life is changing as well. Wow... that almost sounded profound. Don't get used to that. Ha!

For real though... When Chris started first grade a month ago, I was really feeling down. He's gone all day and life suddenly seemed different- and I almost didn't know how to deal with my new found freedom. But now that we're in the groove and have made our way into a routine, I'm embracing this new phase of my life as a mother... because whether we like it or not, Season's Change... and just like with the weather- how I hate the pool being closed and temperatures dropping, there are positives... and like they say- Attitude is Everything, so I'm embracing it all.

Some people bar-hop, but I, on the other hand, gym-hop. Since I'm shuttling Addie to preschool three times a week, I decided to join a gym by her school so maybe I'll actually use it. I was a member at this gym before (Fitness First) and used to go religiously every day. It was my sanity- I used every bit of the two hours they gave me and for the first time in my life loved taking classes. The membership coordinator was able to pull up my old account to see what I had been paying and my photo flashed on the computer screen. Yikes!!! I literally had a baby on my hip- Little Addie Tay-Tay was all of nine months old and I looked a hot mess. And it dawned on me how much my life has changed in those few short years... And it made me realize that there are things I'm thankful for with this stage of my life:

-I'm no longer the lady giving people a complete show as I walk into the gym. I used to have to tote a baby carrier, diaper bag, duffel bag (with everything under the kitchen sink so mama could get her shower for the day), and hold a toddler's hand- who would quite often find a way to dart in traffic despite my best efforts. I should have had my own sitcom.

-I don't miss making sippys, packing snacks, and making sure I had diapers and wipes. And I don't miss being called out of my exercise class for my baby. I remember an entire month straight- every time we got to the third song in spin class, Addie had a poopy diaper. It was no fail- and I would think to myself, "Why am I even trying?"... It's so nice to not have to worry when the nursery worker comes to the door... Now it's not my problem!

-I'm actually becoming more active. The kids are old enough to join me on Thursday nights at the ball field while I play on the family softball team. Yes, they often look like raga muffins, fall on the bleachers, and are being yelled at for stealing random people's sunflower seeds, but the grandparents are there to help watch them and they love all the attention. Last night for the first time all season I got a "real" hit and caught a ball. Too bad two runs scored while I was doing a celebratory dance because the ball went in my glove and I forgot to throw it in. I'm awful, but it feels nice to have some "adult" time and to get out of the house!

-Mommy, Schmommy. I heart my children more than life itself- and I know that Mommy and Me classes are supposed to promote bonding and all that jazz, but I am sooo happy to be out of the phase of Mommy and Me classes. I HATED singing songs and looking like a fool during class. I'd much rather "bond" during our private time than trying to fake a cute little mommy singing voice and pretend I know the words to silly songs. Addie has advanced to "real" gymnastics classes- And I'm totally digging giving her thumbs up and huge smiles through the glass window, and even more, I love to watch what a beautiful, little girl she's become. Not to mention, I've actually been able to read that Redbook magazine that I've been subscribing to for the past ten years.

-DVR. The.best.invention.ever. I'm able to get my children all snuggled into bed and enjoy the new season of fall t.v. Love it. Yes, I'm sad that Bachelor Pad is over, but Grey's is looking pretty promising... I remember when Chris was little I would let him stay up so late so I could watch my shows. Brendan was often traveling and a commercial was not long enough to get him down, so he was always my little sidekick- We'd have our favorite American Idol contestant every season... :)

So, Yes, life is a changing. But all those moments I was worried about my children not needing me as much now that they are getting older were just so wrong. Parenting is just beginning. I'm enjoying having time to take care of myself, and as much as I complain about the mess, I'm loving the smelly football gear, muddy softball cleats, and wet laundry that fill my mudroom every evening. And my new outlook is to cherish every moment, every breath, every stage, and every season, because it all goes by way too fast.

Layin' It Out There...

2011-09-21T06:33:00.000-07:00

We have a situation. And it's time for me to be real honest. Y'all make me smile when you write and tell me I look good, don't need to worry so much, yada, yada, yada... but let me just let ya in on where I'm coming from. Here's a little perspective.

When I got married I weighed 135. I will never weigh that again- I'm realistic. When I started trying for babies, I was around 145-150... and I'd love to be there again. Here I am seven months preggo with Chris... I remember taking this picture and pushing out with all my might so I'd have a belly. Those were the days...

Awww... and a little love on the beach before we had kids... We didn't know what we were getting ourselves into. The day I left for the hospital to deliver Chris, I weighed 179.

And here I am seven months preggo on a trip down the coast of Cali. I loved my preggo belly... can ya tell?:)

And again, three days before I had Addison- swollen, high blood pressure, and on bed rest. You can tell how well I followed doctor's orders- I couldn't miss the family softball game. Oh, Christopher, how I love you booger.:)

The day I gave birth to Addison, my belly was humungo, but I weighed 179- the exact number to the pound as when I gave birth to Topher.

Fast forward to the day after girl's weekend. Now granted, I had been on a five day bender downing drinks, croissants with pimento cheese, and Sister Schubert's rolls- those Southerners do it up right will full on spreads for every meal... and it showed. When I got home, I stepped on the scale and about passed out. 180.2. With no baby in my belly. Holy fartballs.
This weekend I was at:

And this morning I was at 175.2.

So the truth is... there's no hiding it. I have 30 big ole' lb's to lose. And my goal is 25 by Christmas.

Let's do this!

Love.

2011-09-19T11:53:00.000-07:00

You is kind.
You is smart.
You is important.

Ever since seeing The Help, every morning, I grab my chitlin's cheeks, look them in the eye, and say this to them... and I can tell you that it has become our "special moment" before school. I'm just waiting for the day when my grammar is corrected. Ha! But seriously- If I do nothing else here on earth, I will be happy knowing that my family knows that they are loved and important.

I can honestly say that some of my wonderful friends/blog readers have made me feel this way lately- Perhaps I alarmed some with my down in the dumps posts...

Speaking of being down in the dumps, today has been a fab day. I'm breaking up with Facebook this evening and excited about it... I did join another social media type website- Pinterest. It has sucked me in- but in a good way. Today, I showered, and actually got dressed with a long necklace and sweater- trying to replicate an outfit I "pinned." And, I made an afternoon snack for the kids that required baking. Hell might freeze over! Not to mention, I'm headed to the gym this evening and joining in the morning.

I told y'all Monday was a new start... and I'm well on my way.:)

I'm determined to make this month a month full of results and positivity.

Judging a person does not define who they are. It defines who you are.

Thanks ladies for not judging me... if you were here right now, I'd be squeezing your cheeks and letting you know how important you are to me.:)

My New Diet...

2011-09-17T10:31:00.000-07:00

I'm a Nosey Nellie. I love to be in the mix and know whats going on- always have been, always will be- I really don't see that changing. I'm also an eater and more than anything an emotional eater. Last week, I read a friend's blog post that really hit home:

http://workoutmommy.com/2011/09/12/when-social-media-brings-you-down/

I've read all the articles about how social media is linked to a rise in depression, how facebook causes an inferiority complex, etc... And instead of rolling my eyes at these new causes for alarm, I'm giving in and just putting it out there that I think it's true and there is some scientific basis for this crappola.

Being the open book that I am, I've always said that I wear my heart on my sleeve and care way too much about what others think. Couple that with the fact that I love gossip and Facebook is linked to my phone... I have a problem.

It's true. I know I spend way too much looking at my status feed- and it's not making me a nice person. I read posts and compare myself to others and often am left with a sick feeling of "what am I doing wrong?" For example, I'll see that my neighbor is going to a winery on a date night with her hubby. Then, I think, man, I need to go on a date with the hubz... but oh, that's right... we didn't budget for a babysitter this month. I'll read that a random person is cruising to Alaska and think I need a cruise. I'll read that an old friend is pregnant and then try to attack my hubby to conceive. I'll read that a friend is making homemade meatballs and canning salsa from scratch and think I suck because we had cereal for dinner... and it keeps going, and going, and going. I know that we shouldn't "keep up with the Joneses" and we've never been ones to do that... but with Facebook, how the hell am I supposed to keep up with the Jones, Smiths, Waltons, and all the other hundreds of friends I have?

On my recent girl's trip, Facebook had us middle-aged women flipping the camera so fast to preview the picture to see if it had made the grade or if it should be deleted. Grown women were standing on chairs to take our picture so our double chins didn't show and so the picture would pass the vanity clause. We were checking in to places and just so giddy that we "had a life" and were going out. I caught myself writing statuses and tagging the gals I was with so other's would know we were having a blast hanging out. And the sad thing is, that's not the "life" I want at all. In fact, the most fun times of that weekend were laying in bed with my besties talking about wiping hineys and how we missed our boring life and kids. It was when we were gabbing about pinterest and not having a care in the world. And yet Facebook took us back fifteen years to being high school girls with complexes. Crazy.

Facebook allows people to give small "glimpses" or windows into their lives... but often, what you do in public or in front of the window is nothing like what happens behind closed doors- and I'm bad at remembering that.

It's time to put my plan of action of getting my ghetto booty back to superior form and to stop with this feeling inferior to anything and everything. LOL... to start my oh so dramatic knockout mama transformation, this Monday morning, I'm unplugging from Facebook for one month. We'll see how it goes and if it helps with my sanity. If you don't hear from me, make sure to check on me in case I'm having convulsions from withdrawal. I'm admitting that I hit refresh way too many times throughout the day... Hopefully I will find the time to fit in my workouts instead of exercising my index finger a hundred times a day. And hopefully I'll be able to return to the whole social media world realizing that I don't need to be as Godly, worldy, friendly, funny, and everything else as all the women I know. It's o.k. to just be me. And in the end, realize that Facebook is about bringing friends together to love, support, and to celebrate each other's accomplishments, not to envy one anothers lives.

It's time for me to get off the sidelines where I watch women I know celebrate getting in shape and feeling good about themselves... and time for me to get in the game and be the one doing it. My goal is to lose 13 pounds in one month. What can I say- I have the same favorite number as T-Swizzle. Let's see how this social-media "diet" works. Status that.:)

Friends Forever

2011-09-12T20:34:00.000-07:00

What a weekend! I laughed, I cried, I lounged on the beach, I ate, I drank, and I loved life. But most of all, I reflected, refreshed, and learned.

Girl's weekend 2011 was nothing short of fabulous. You couple four best friends that have known each other for almost two decades with a bunch of young and crazy twenty somethings- and trust me it makes for a good time... Not to mention a gorgeous beach mere steps away and a podunk bar named Tacky Jack's that provided tons of entertainment!

And to think that I had thought of bailing out on the trip by coming up with a lame excuse like I had the stomach bug... because trust me, that had crossed my mind. I had severe anxiety about going on this trip because of one reason... my weight. I know it sounds crazy to some, but it's the truth. And throughout the weekend my weight continued to bother me. Every time I stuffed my mouth with food, I was paranoid people were talking about me. I felt like a beached whale on the beach. And for the first time in my life, I was the biggest girl at the bar.

But at the end of the day, I walked away with with a better attitude than ever and I'm ready to work on my issues. Because ya know what- They are MY issues, and MY issues alone.

My friends could have cared less if I'm thirty pounds overweight. They think I'm beautiful just the way I am. They could care less if I have a roll showing, if my clothes matched, if my hair was done, or even if I didn't shower and chose to smell like a brewery all weekend long. Don't worry, I did choose to shower... at least once.

I learned that when someone is a true friend and really cares about you- none of the things people stress about matter. It truly is what's on the inside that counts. When it comes down to it... Everyone- even the skinny chick that looks amazing has insecurities.

People struggle with money, abusive relationships, infertility, addiction, family drama... the list could go on forever. But think about it... Do any of those make you love a person less? Not me. And not my friends. And I love them for that.

Now, if I can just find the answer to being a friend to myself, life would be great... I saw this quote on a blog, and it hit home:

"If you talked to your friends like you talk to your body, you'd have no friends left."

And after this weekend, I can't imagine not having my girls.:) Maybe it's time for me to start loving my body no matter what. And just like my friends, I can listen to it, analyze it, and help it in a positive way.:) Because that's what friends are for.

Can't Sleep...

2011-09-07T05:33:00.000-07:00

Football is so much more than a game played with a pigskin. For some, it's entertainment. Many women consider it the "other woman" taking their main squeeze away for five months a year. For the lucky ones, it's a way to make a living and a job. But for others, like Reggie Jones, it's life. And because of people like him, there are fans.

For as long as I can remember, I have been a Redskin fan. I used to be a die hard. I'd dream of being Art Monk and spend afternoons in Herndon trying to get my #81 jersey autographed after practices. To this day, if you name a number from the mid-80's, I can tell you who it belonged to. It's sad when a wheel cover on a jeep saying "Joe Jacoby" advertising his car dealership makes me smile. But it does.

But somewhere along the line, the Redskins lost me.

Don't get me wrong. I still cheer for them every Sunday and hate Dallas like no other, but I just don't live and breathe football like I used to. I stopped caring. There have been moments that made me want to get into it again... Ya know, like the LaVar Arrington Eastern Motors commercials that made me laugh just as hard as you-tubing "Beyonce Clown". Or when I drove up a sixteen passenger van full of my group home kids from Richmond to bring them to training camp years ago. Yes, I was the crazy chick with the eight month pregnant teen having an asthma attack and the hoard of bebe kids that stormed the turf and got chewed out. Luckily, LaVar showed up on a golf cart, nodded at us like it was o.k. that we had lost control of the hoodlums, and greeted them even signing a football- which now that I think about it, my fellow co-worker ganked and I never saw again! I know in my heart of hearts LaVar knew our kids were "special." LaVar's not the only good guy... I smile with pride everytime I'm driving to preschool and I see how Chris Cooley has invested and opened a gallery in downtown Leesburg, suddenly bringing life and hope to my town. And no matter how many field goals Gano misses, I will be a fan because not a day went by this summer that he wasn't working his little heart out at my local gym... and he and his wife are just as normal as they come. Nor will I forget how Lichtensteiger spent an hour straight signing autographs for the common folk at training camp winning the heart of every mom's group member in the area even taking pictures with kids. And it was such a cool story when I head D. Hall had ponyed up tickets for his son's third grade class to a game. It's players like this that have almost made me want to sport a jersey and be able to rattle off statistics once again.

But something was still missing. Until Reggie Jones came to D.C..

For those that don't know, Jones came from the Saints and blogged his journey during training camp on my cousin's website fatpickled.com. He took the time to give fans a glimpse into his life. The news did spots on him and The Washington Post even ran a story about his trials and what has given him the power to be who he is today.

For the first time in years, I was rooting for someone. I wanted to schedule a playdate with little Dash and Wifey made me want to be better wife. I mean, after being stuck home with a baby all day, she must really love that man if she wanted to watch yet another movie in the man cave. And if all else fails, this dude needs to channel Etan Thomas and go into writing- I swear he could write a motivational book by penning his sign-offs. He posesses natural, God-given writing ability.

Now, I get that not everyone is going to make the squad. Cuts suck and the best of the very best play in the NFL. But this guy was good. He was everything a Redskin should be. His story had me engaged and I was googleing who made the 53 man roster. He didn't. But he did make the practice squad.

Or so I thought.

I found out last night that he made the practice squad only to be released later when it was too late to sign with another team. SCREWED.

I'm a woman. I get it. I don't know football. But I do know that that's not how you treat someone who has done nothing but positive things for your organization. And it pisses me off. What comes around, goes around Dan. And you can suck it Snyder.

Football is so much more than a game. And this year, Baltimore is looking pretty good right now. They have a coach that is as down to earth as they come, had enough sense to keep Tyrod Taylor, and Michael Oher is the type of athlete that can make someone a fan. Just like Reggie Jones would have done to me.

It's GO Time!

2011-09-05T18:36:00.000-07:00

I'm back bitches!:)

I have two choices... I can wallow in my sorrow that summer is officially over and the pool has closed. Don't worry, I did that today as we said good-bye to our Slovakian lifeguards. I shed a tear on the way out and reminisced about my days perched by the pool all summer catching some rays, watching my children laugh, and enjoying life. It was easy... and FUN! Best.Summer.Ever...

But now I'm paying for it.

I quit working out completely and packed on the weight. Like no joke, got BIG.

I can be sad about the routine of school, the approaching colder weather, and my weight. Or, I can welcome it with open arms like never before and be up for a challenge. And instead of falling into seasonal depression, I choose the later.

I have a new goal. And it's bigger than ever. Are ya ready?

TWO BABIES IN TWO YEARS. Yep. You read that right!

I'm officially challenging myself to have two babies in two years.

Tonight I'm nine months preggo, and I have a scheduled delivery at 5 in the morning- when my hubby and I will meet in the basement and begin a new chapter of our lives. Well, ya might as well look at it like that- since I am less than five pounds away from what I weighed on the night before I gave birth to both of my children.

Only, I don't have a baby in my belly. Or a placenta, or water weight, or anything that goes along with a baby. I just have about 40 buns in the oven... Ya know, like bread buns from snacking on carbs all day every day for the past year.

So, tomorrow morning, I start my journey to lose thirty pounds- all the baby weight that should have been gone... let's see... four years ago. I have an entire pregnancy's weight to lose- baby and all. Eeek!!!

Big Daddy B and I are having a date in the basement tomorrow morning to work out... and this time I'm going to Push It, Push It, Push It real good as we begin cardio, weights, and abs together as a team. :)

Many tell me to just go ahead and get knocked up. But ladies, I'm too vain... and if I get preggo at the weight I am now, I really think I'd reach the point of no return.

I AM LOSING THIS WEIGHT. I feel fat, I look fat, and I am fat... And it's disgusting. I'd love to say I'm losing this weight once and for all... But once I lose it, you'll get to hear about my journey to have a little one next year- because now the hubby is on board, and we want to become a party of five.:)

To be continued...

Ask and you shall receive...

2011-08-29T10:20:00.000-07:00

How many of you can name five players from the W.N.B.A.? And how many of you can name five pro softball players? Or can you name five Redskin cheerleaders? Probably not... I know I can't. But I can name a world champion female boxer- Ashburn's very own, Tori Nelson!!!

It's a fact- women still have a long way to go in athletics, but there are some people out there that just won't quit and refuse to be ignored, and my girl, Tori, is one of them.

One year ago, I heard from my uncle about a school bus driver that was a boxer. I kept hearing more and more about her, so I asked the staff at I Am Modern if I could do a piece on Tori- without thinking twice, checking out her credentials, etc., they believed in me and told me to run with it. And I've been running ever since. Ya see, it's not hard when you're dealing with Tori. You can read Tori's first article here http://www.iammodern.com/tori-nelson.html .

I met Tori for an interview, and she and her trainer looked at me straight in the eye and said, "Tori will be a world champion." If anyone else in Tori's situation had said that to me, I would have thought they were nuts, but I could see it in her eyes, this woman was never going to stop. I watched her train in an empty Broadlands garage that served as her training facility for months and could feel the angst running through her veins. I could feel how bad she wanted it- and her fire is contagious.

Tori had to work hard to get fights- Not many want to see women boxing. I drove to Pikesville, Maryland to see her in action- and in front of me sat a 70-ish year old couple that had made the same drive. Tori is their favorite server at IHOP- and they too wanted to show their support. After a hard fought match, Tori won.

After winning in Maryland, Tori tried to do everything she could to get on another fight card. Sometimes it all comes down to selling tickets. Tori called me and asked when her article was going to be out in I Am Modern, and it was just about to be on the stands. Her trainer told people she was receiving press- and as soon as the magazine had returned from the printing facility, I Am Modern armed me with a box of 100 issues to serve as Tori's new media kit. Tori beamed when she saw the article... and it felt like things were finally happening.

Months went by, and I continued to lobby for Tori. Being a stay-at-home mom with no boxing knowledge whatsoever, I became a fan. I would send random e-mails to Gary "Digital" Williams- the biggest name covering boxing- and he would actually read them and respond. Luckily, Tori's story speaks for itself and I didn't have to do much but annoy him and he became a fan and gave Tori the name she needed in boxing media. I contacted the Loudoun Times Mirror and they ran a front page story on Tori. Tori and I would have late night chats and we'd soon be saying "Love ya" when we got off the phone. And before you knew it, Tori was more than someone I loved following and writing about, she was my homegirl and my true friend.

This month, Tori boarded an airplane to travel to Trinidad for a title shot. After a whirlwind trip, she touched down at Miami airport, and I was the first person she called when she was on U.S. soil. She said, "Shelley, When you interviewed me, I told you you could have the first interview when I was a world champ. When ya wanna meet?" She did it. She captured the World Boxing Council (WBC) middleweight title with an upset over Lorissa Rivas on July 29 in Trinidad and Tobago.

Today, I received an e-mail that she will be fighting on the Jimmy Lange Boxing fight card at the Patriot Center on September 10th. In the e-mail, the promotors describe Nelson like this:

Nelson, a three-time Washington, D.C. Golden Gloves champion, is a single mother with two children who juggles numerous jobs while pursuing a career inside the ring. She drives a school bus and works in the cafeteria for the Loudoun County School system and also waitresses at an area IHOP restaurant.

That's exactly how I wrote about Tori in my I Am Modern article. It's all true and shows how she is overcoming obstacles and is an amazing woman. But what this whole journey has taught me is that this community is full of supporters. Tori will never forget how I Am gave her her first "big break." We've asked people to support her, and they have come through with everything from press to photographers (Val Cavalheri) doing free photo shoots. Now, Tori is looking for official sponsors. If you or if you know of anyone interested- please e-mail me at hokie30sgirl@aol.com Get creative ladies. Do you want to sponsor workout wear for her? She'll wear it at events. Can you sponsor a monthly donation to help fund her training? We can put your business logo on her team's shirt to sport when they enter the ring at the Patriot Center. We promise, there are opportunities for any level.

Ask and you shall receive. It's what I've learned through this experience, and I know that some of the I Am readers will come through. Last Fall, I met with Tori and began asking simple questions for an article. Yes, I met a bus driver, an IHOP waitress, a mother of two, and a female boxer. But more than anything , I met a woman that dreams big and will never stop reaching. I met a world champion. And I met a woman that motivates me to be a better person, a lifelong friend, and someone that has truly given this stay-at-home mama something to believe in.

Random...

2011-08-19T11:27:00.000-07:00

So, you guys all know how I love children's clothing... I thought I'd put out an open invite:

Chez Ami Children's Clothing Party
Sunday, August 21st at my home 2-4pm!!!

E-mail me at hokie30sgirl@aol.com if you'd like to come or if you'd like to order through my party online!!!

Thanks!

Called Out...

2011-08-10T19:05:00.000-07:00

For the past year or so, I've kind of been living off the notion that if I never start, I'll never fail. Ya know, if I talk about doing things... but never actually commit, I won't let people down~ including myself.

That's gotten me nowhere.

So, my new outlook is- You will never win if you never begin, so I'm going to begin dammit. I'm going on a diet (gasp) and working out with a trainer who has me committing to daily workouts. And I hope to live to write about it...

My friend/trainer, Natasha, is so sweet and trying to help me get my rear in gear- Ha- that's one of my mom's favorite sayings, and I just wrote it naturally.:) While chillin' at the pool- because that's what we housewives do, I decided I'd take the plunge and show her my little black book...

Yes, I'm a dork like that and literally have a little, black book that houses motivational quotes- You like that- "How did I let this happen to me?" Right?:)

Paperwork from where I have met with nutritionists... You know, like the time when I had gained weight before I wanted to conceive and I thought I was soooo fat. Yep, I noticed yesterday that I was 25 years old and soooo fat at 149 pounds... Oh, how I'd kill to be that again!

It also includes meal plans from people I admire and wish I could be like- who have won at losing...

and you can't leave out the pictures- some "fat" pictures that I hate and are supposed to keep me on track, and then the skinny pictures that I long to be like again.

Some say that a trainer is one part trainer and the other part therapist. And now I know why. My girl Natasha always makes fun of me and asks me if I ever get mad. If I ever yell at my kids, and if I ever don't have a smile on my face. Truthfully, I'm a pretty happy chick. But then, when we started going through the pictures, she nailed it. My weight correlates to things in my life. Duh...

I started off pre-wedding- skinny. Then we progressed to my one year wedding anniversary- I had packed on 20 pounds. Don't ya know they say a happily married woman gains 17.3 pounds that first year. I always say I was super happy... but I also fail to mention that I was extremely homesick being away from my family in Oklahoma... and I ate. We'll skip a few years, bounced around with my weight and she talked about my weight and where I was in my life. Then she point blank said, "Shelley, there must be a reason why you eat the way you do now." Thanks babe... way to call me out at the pool. Ha!

And then when I got home, all of these emotions came to me. I eat when I'm hungry, when I'm mad, when I'm sad, and when I'm lonely. I eat. It comforts me.

So yes... I eat when I'm not this happy go lucky girl that I hope to be 100 percent of the time. I eat when my kids are screaming in the car and can't agree on a movie. I grab McDonald's. I begin my day with a Diet Coke and a carb in the morning when I'm tired because I don't sleep at night. I'd like to say I am a night person, but I also have insomnia and hate being home alone at night. I check my locks three times. And when I've had a LONG day- even if it just consisted of basking in the sun at the pool with my kids and having a grand ole' time- at 6:00pm when I watch a parade of cars pulling into their driveways and other hubbys arriving home for dinner, I eat. Being a pilot's wife can be hard, and downright suck at times when you are alone, want to have a happy, family dinner, but all you can think about is making it through another three hours when you are dead tired... let alone the bedtime routine of books and brushing teeth...alone. You wonder, "Man, is this what I signed up for when I married this man!"... (But no worries, the good definietly outweighs the bad, and I lucked out... for better or worse, baby). So I eat. And when the kids are finally in bed and the house is quiet, I eat, because it can be just that- too quiet... and lonely.

So, there ya go. I realize I eat... like I didn't know that... but by sharing my "little black book" it was loud and clear that there might be a little more to my habits than I ever knew. Don't they say the first step is admitting you have a problem. And at least now I can work on it...

Phew... that felt good. Now, who can teach me a hobby. Anyone cross-stitch?:)

*For those of you that read this blog, I have decided not to continue posting my blogs on iammodern.com. I love each and every one of you that read it here- But this blog has become more of a journal and I don't feel the need to share it to the world, nor crazies.:) Thanks so much for all of your support.:)

Don't ever grow up...

2011-08-05T16:31:00.000-07:00

Today, my son wouldn't let me kiss him in public- when he was around his friends in the pool. Don't worry, I did it anyways- even if I almost drowned him in the process... At least now, he might not put up such a fight...

School is just weeks away... and while I'm super excited to have a few mornings to myself since both of my children will be in school, I'm actually kind of sad.:(

I used to spend my days searching for activities, mom's groups, and other women to have playdates with. I would do every free activity in the world just to have something to break up the monotony of staying at home. I was that mom at the library story time, at the Ida Lee shows, concerts at mall, the Chick-Fil-A play area, the park, Pump-It-Up... and anywhere else you could possibly think of. I remember going to the park three times a day in my old neighborhood just trying to meet someone for adult conversation. I remember praying for my children to get older so that I could just have some free time- a second to myself- just to breathe... or possibly shower without having to have a bouncy seat on the floor by my feet while I curled my hair, or so I didn't have to let my kids join me in putting on make-up just to pacify them- only to have to spend ten minutes cleaning them up once I had my "face on."

And now that I'm at that point in my life where I will have a son in first grade and a daughter in preschool three mornings a week, I'm a wreck. Is it possible to experience empty nest syndrome when you send your kid off to first grade? I mean right now, it feels like I would do anything to make time stand still- to let my children never outgrow needing me every second of the day, and to never let this summer end.

I'm sure this too will pass. But in the mean time, I am trying to plan how I will pass the time and settle into a new school routine. I hope that it's by going to the gym and not being a "lady who lunches"... at least not every day.:) Any suggestions- What has worked for you? Shall I spin, play tennis, train for another half marathon, do Insanity, all of the above?

But right now, I'll have a little pity party... with the help of Taylor Swift.:)

Your little hands wrapped around my finger
And it's so quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter 'cause you're dreaming
So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light

To you, everything's funny
You got nothing to regret
I'd give all I have, honey
If you could stay like that

Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple

I won't let nobody hurt you
Won't let no one break your heart
No, no one will desert you
Just try to never grow up, never grow up

You're in the car on the way to the movies
And you're mortified your mom's dropping you off
At 14, there's just so much you can't do
And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots

But don't make her drop you off around the block
Remember that she's getting older, too
And don't lose the way that you dance around
In your PJs getting ready for school

Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/t/taylor-swift-lyrics/never-grow-up-lyrics.html ]
It could stay this simple

No one's ever burned you
Nothing's ever left you scarred
And even though you want to
Just try to never grow up

Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said
And all your little brother's favorite songs

I just realized everything I have
Is someday gonna be gone

So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, they just dropped me off
It's so much colder than I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on

Wish I'd never grown up
I wish I'd never grown up

Oh, I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
Could still be little
Oh, I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
It could still be simple

Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
Just stay this little
Oh, darling, don't you ever grow up, don't you ever grow up
It could stay this simple

Won't let nobody hurt you
Won't let no one break your heart
And even through to you want to
Please try to never grow up

Don't you ever grow up
(Never grow up)
Just never grow up

Sobering

2011-07-30T18:46:00.000-07:00

"Honey, Can I pleeeaaaasssseeee get a boob job?"

"If you lose all of your weight, Yes, I'll give in and you can get a boob job."

"O.K., for the record- If I lose my weight, then I can get a boob job, and a little work done on my face..."

"What? What do you mean "work on your face?"

"Well, ya know, just a little bit of botox in my 11's and maybe a little juvederm?"

*insert convo where I explained juvederm*

"Shelley, trust me- If you lose your weight, your face will go back to normal."

Wow. That was completely sobering.

When I first began this blog, I was overweight- but not huge or anything. I loved writing and sharing stories- hopefully to bring a smile to someone's face, vent, or just pass my time because it felt like I had formed a newfound hobby. And through this process, I learned more about myself than I ever knew. I've learned my likes, my dislikes, what makes me happy, sad, and everything in between. And I've also learned that while I am happy and satisfied in my life and pretty much live on easy street, I self medicate.

Ya see, at the end of the day when all is quiet, nothing makes me feel as good as settling in with a loaf of bread and Diet Coke. Or when I have to go from swim team to gymnastics to a playdate within three hours something about a McDonald's run seems soothing to me. With my kids growing up right before my very eyes this past year and no longer being solely dependent on me, food has become my b-f-f. When they are off playing pretend at the park with their friends and no longer needing Mommy every second, I miss it. And when I'm sad that I'm not the only one bringing a smile to their faces, a double cheeseburger calls out my name and "needs" me. And when they are perfectly content with the neighborhood kids and don't need Mommy to lead activities, I can turn to Doritos while sitting on my front stoop. And somewhere along the line, I packed on the pounds.

While I'd like to say it happened overnight, I know it didn't. But it sure feels like it. I honestly never saw how "big" I had gotten until this past week- starting with when I caught a glimpse of my back fat in the medicine cabinet mirror and wondered who in the sam hells body was in my bathroom- I mean it couldn't be mine! But after ten minutes of playing with different body positions and being grossed out by my gut, stretch marks, and everything in between, I saw that it was indeed my own reflection.

Or tonight, when I went to a family birthday party and my cousin took a group picture of us... and then showed it to me on the camera resulting in me nearly threatening her life if she posted it on facebook- As in a real death threat if she even thought about tagging that pic... I saw a girl in the picture- while very happy with a smile on her face... A girl that looked fat and happy. Fat... as in the F word fat.

And somewhere along the line of making excuse after excuse as to why I didn't work out, or stick to my Weight Watchers points, inside this happy gal, lives a woman that really struggles with her weight. Struggles to the point where she is lost and doesn't know where to go from here. Struggles because she knows she needs to do something and yet feels like she has no control or motivation. Struggles because she feels like she's lost not what's on the inside, but what is on the outside. And a woman who would give anything and everything to just once again look more normal.

About Me

2011-07-17T18:49:00.000-07:00

Stagnant. That's pretty much the state of this blog. And while many might view this blog as a complete failure- Hello- Weight loss blogger who manages to blog about gaining her confidence and getting her body back while losing twenty pounds... only to continue documenting her suburban life for the next year... while gaining thirty big, fat l.b.'s back... But I don't. In fact, I like to look on the bright side of life- and I've realized that this very blog has saved me thousands in therapy.

Truthfully, I've never tried therapy... but blogging has served as my hourly psychologist appointment for just a little over a year and half now. And even though I'm up in weight and have the worst physical body I've ever had in my life, this blog has given me so much more- a sense of self. Right along with my readers, I have learned about me as a person.

Having never been one to walk to the beat of my own drum, I always was a follower. I seek approval, like to make other's happy, and am a people pleaser. I care about what other's think of me and and am easily hurt. I'm sensitive- and get nervous when I don't know people- to the point of not being able to speak. BUT... Writing and putting it all out there has been a gift to me. Ya see, writing has put my life in front of my very own eyes and I don't have to hide or make excuses about what I really think. It's kind of been my year and a half of "coming out of the closet."

I'm no longer Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride... I know how I like my eggs. I always thought if I was assigned an essay, I wouldn't be able to write about myself... But all that has changed.

I am a 33 year old stay at home mom. Life's not perfect and neither am I. But I know that I love to love. I love my family more than life itself. My family is my everything and I don't know what I'll do when something happens to my grandparents. I love my parents and am blessed they love me the way they do. My children are my life- and if I have to go without to give them everything they want, then so be it. I love being a wife and a mother and have abso-freaking-lutely no career ambition at all. Throw me a retirement party... at least until I realize I need to make some Benjamin's to put my kiddos through college. I love lounging and sleeping in. I love soft blankets and my snuggie. I have to begin my day with morning love- and my children know that we don't do anything until we snuggle, hug, and kiss for a good ten minutes to "put Mommy in a good mood." I love burning candles and do so every day- They make me happy. I love the beach, the pool, the lake, and any sort of water. While I had a great time visiting Paris, I don't need to see the world. Give me a trashy magazine, my ass in the sand, and toes in the water, and I'm a happy girl. I love history- Not like World War II and stuff, but things that make me think of things... For example, I have my grandmother's measuring spoons framed and hanging in my kitchen. I love everything about decorating and I could have a slammin' house if I had to the money... I could drool over house stuff for days. Like molding- crown molding makes me swoon. And yes, I said slammin'. I often say old school words... like awesome, the bomb dot com, and so on. And I have a bad mouth and sometimes let curse words slip. My best friend is Ashley and if she lived here, people would for sure think we're lesbos. We talk five times a day if not more. I will always be Princess Daisy of O'Ryan in our Ya-Ya Sisterhood. I could totally be a hippy. I love braids, flowers in my hair, and blowing bubbles. I love music. Every kind- rap, country, rock. You name it. I can't sing and I can't dance- but they are my favorite things to do. I would make a great guy. I genuinely love Sportscenter. I love the Redskins, college football, and Gameday. I'm counting down until football season. I love me some Hokies. Blacksburg makes me happy and is where I fell in love with my husband. I somewhat stalked him before I dated him. Not somewhat, I did. I love his neck... especially after he gets a haircut. Hotness. I guess he does it for me- and I'm so proud of how far the two of us have come together. I love Jesus, and God probably thinks I'm nutso because I talk to him all the time. I often pray when I'm on the pot. I love smells. I have a habit of smelling the skin on my arm and my mom catches me doing it all the time. I love the smell of skin after being outside. They should bottle that. Drakkar Noir the cologne makes me think of the hubz. He wore it back in the day. I used to wear Liz Claiborne in the triangle bottle or Navy... and recently bought it. The first day made me happy, and then it made me gag. I need new perfume but have yet to discover "my scent." I love Shaper hairspray. I am always behind on technology and have never texted in my life. I refuse to get texting because I know I would do it too much. I love riding in a convertable. My first car was a convertible Toyota Celica. I didn't get my license for a full year after I turned 16 because I wrecked Richard Fletcher's car and also stole my parent's car when I didn't have my license. As in stole- I was grounded, ran away in their car, and drove to Winchester to see my boyfriend. That's a story in itself- but No regrets. And thinking about it, I probably owe the Flether's some money. I will one day drive a convertible again. I make my son promise that he'll buy me a Mercedes when he grows up, but if I had to choose, I'd sport a Jeep, M.G., Alfa Romeo, or old VW Bug with the top down. Or maybe even a completely beat-up truck like Tim Riggins drives on Friday Night Lights. I'm so sad that they ended that show. Texas Forever. If there is anyone that reminds me of myself, it would be Mindy from FNL. She cracked me up- especially in the scene when she was doing Tae-Bo. Billy Blanks works- My hubby and I used to do it one summer when we stayed at Tech for summer school- Man- what a fun summer that was! I like to tie one on once in a while- but don't like to drink... only to get drunk. Ha! My drinks of choice are Natty Light and Aristocrat Vodka chased with a Tostito. High class, I tell ya, high class. I love soccer but probably will never play again. I tell my mom that I don't miss it, but I do- but I don't want her to lecture me with an, "I told ya so" story. I didn't watch any of the World Cup... and I know those girls are sick of hearing about the team of '99. But the team of '99 rocked. Shannon Higgins from that squad used to train my travel soccer team. She didn't shave her legs. My legs need to be shaved.

This could go on forever... but the point is- like the old Jessica Andrews song, I know "Who I Am." For the first time in my life, I'm me. And while I'm not giving up blogging, I just don't need it as much right now... kind of like therapy.

Don't worry... I'll still be around because eventhough I feel like I have grown and this journey has transformed me into a mother who knows who she is... one thing remains the same...I'm fat. And will be joining Watchers tomorrow. Because I know that I'm Nanny P.P. and Sue Smith's granddaughter, and that I love being thin.

Mama Bear

2011-06-30T06:24:00.000-07:00

Wanda Holloway. Yes, I had to google that- it wasn't fresh in my mind with the other useless information my brain likes to waste space with... She even has a wikepedia entry:

Wanda Holloway asked her ex-brother-in-law to hire a hitman to kill the mother of a girl who was competing with her daughter for a spot on their junior high school's cheerleading squad. Holloway wanted the mother killed because she determined that the competing girl would be so devastated by her mother's death that she would drop out of the competition, thereby giving Holloway's daughter the coveted spot on the cheerleading squad. Both girls were thirteen at the time. She became known as the "Texas-Cheerleader-Murdering-Mom", and her story gained national attention and spawned two TV movies.

I might have missed my chance to be famous last night... because I was two seconds away from being good ole' Wanda. Well, I wasn't sending out a hitman, but I was going to make headlines by taking care of business myself on a rude parent. It's amazing what athletics can do to the best of us. It's been a good 16 hours and I still haven't simmered down.

We're a swimming family. Yes, we're one of those obnoxious families that swim year round and sport our Snow Swimming gear. And we're proud of it. My hubby was an amazing swimmer- so he started my son off early- don't worry- we're a "No Pressure" family. For example, my driving force was to help my son's weight... it's just a lot easier during the winter to drive to Claude Moore, throw him in the pool and let him get some hardcore cardio instead of spending an hour at Chick-Fil-A sweating it out in the play area. Just sayin.'

So, we spend our summers at the pool loving every second of swim team... That is until last night. We swim in a very well run positive swim league, but ya know how it goes- one bad apple can spoil the whole bunch. And last night, I had a run in with the Big Daddy bad seed.

Yes, my son is big. He towers over most kids. We keep him active and even limit his food at times. It's an issue. So when I hear a grown man openly mocking my son, I have a problem. Ya see, I can be socially awkward until I feel comfortable and know people. I can't speak up in public- In fact, I've made my hubby volunteer this summer because last year I almost experienced hives when I had to work the snack bar and talk to strangers. It's a personal thing, I guess. BUT... when you mess with my kid, you mess with me. And I will turn ghetto fabulous and go crazy on your a$$.

Thankfully, my hubby handled the situation with more class than I would have. After my son killed it in the race, my hubby politely told the man, "Not bad for an Al Bundy." To which the man replied, "Oh, I didn't mean that in a negative way." Hmmm.... when you are talking about my son and making other coaches laugh by saying all he needs to do is stick his hands down his pants- I really don't think you were referring to Al as a heartthrob buddy.

Although handled well, I'm still seething. Have you ever just felt your blood flowing through your veins? Like literally boiling?

So, I turned to facebook. I seem to be on there a lot. Yes, I'm one of those status posters... but I've come to the conclusion that with a traveling hubby, sometimes Facebook is my friend and my link to adult interaction. It's not like I'm sitting at my computer all day. My handy, dandy I-phone is right in my hand and when I've just eaten PBJ for lunch and sang five Barney songs, it's nice to at least feel like I'm talking to someone over the age of six.

Luckily, my mother-in-law had just posted Ephesians 4:29 and Colossians 3:8 on her status... "But now you must put away anger, fury, malice, slander, and obscene language out of your mouths." It's funny how Jesus talks to ya right when you need him. If it wasn't for that, I was about to be classless and tactless and let f-bombs fly...

So now that I'm writing this out, I have calmed down. Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. But if you talk about my son, I will punch your face in. Or just give it a night of not sleeping, testing the limits of my blood pressure, and then lift it up to the Big Man up above and let him handle it. Dear Lord- This man lives in Lansdowne and was wearing a bright, yellow shirt. But then again, I know you already knew that. Amen.

And here goes, another Lesson of the Day. Watch your tongue. And women of I Am Modern unite. Let no child be picked on for ANY reason. They are innocent (at least most of the time).

And today, I will be nice and not gossip about women at the pool that should not be wearing bikini's. Words hurt at any age. Wear it loud and proud sista.

Enough with the rambling, Rev Run posts. But I just can't tell ya how cathartic writing can be. XOXO

Let it all out...

2011-06-22T19:13:00.000-07:00

Olaf. My hubby still cringes when he is referred to as that. Well, either cringes, or threatens someones life- depeding on whose tongue that four letter word rolls off of.

And today, I know why.

I never got it... but then again that's because I was always so proud of his 6'5" body of greatness. I, personally, have a thing for tall guys- and that's one of the first things that attratcted me to him. But now that I'm the "big" girl in class, trust me, I don't want people referring to me as "Big Mama" or anything big, round, and in my mind derogatory... even if it is in a loving way.

We all have insecurities- and today mine were full-fledged raw. I just happened to be in a kickboxing class standing behind a cute, little, petite gal. When looking inthe mirror, you could literally see her body, and still see mine surrounding hers. In fact, I was heavier than all the men in the class.:(

Yes, I'm officially the fat chick in class- and I've never been that girl.

To make matters worse- LA Boxing is like riding a bike, and I can still hang. At least when the instructor's looking. I'm much slower, not nearly as hard, and I have to pull the "slack off and rotate around my bag so the instructor can't see me" move throughout the entire class- but I still know what I'm doing. Unfortuneatly for me... that means I was called on to demonstrate things in class today.

It gave me a huge confidence boost- since I was feeling grotesque at the moment- that is until all eyes were on me.

Yep, picture this- the entire class watching me do a combination. I was feeling it and pounding on my bag...

Jab, Jab, Cross, Hook, Kick, PFFFFTTTTTTT.....

Toot. Yep, I let 'er rip, busted ass, cut the cheese- whatever you want to call it- right in class when I was front and center. Trust me- I didn't intentionally let one slide- it just came from no where. It was the first time in my life I would have been happy to have silent but deadly farts- I could have dealt with the smell and given a disturbed look like "who did that?"... but there was no hiding my vibrating butt cheeks and horn sound.

Fabulous. Big Mama doesn't sound so bad... it's much better than Skidz. Olaf has nothin' on me.:)

Lesson of the Day...

2011-06-19T19:14:00.000-07:00

We tried this month... and I'm now out 20 bucks and lots of gas- as in car gas, or gasoline. After a night of drinkin' in the driveway with neighbors, we celebrated our anniversary and "put it in God's hands". I just knew I was pregnant and even calculated my due date to be February 24th, 2012. But guess what... after obsessively poking and prodding my boobs and practically feeling myself up in the hopes that I'd experience signs of soreness- and after multiple trips to the dollar store and a trip to Wally World just to get the good test because I had POASS- Ya know- Pee On A Stick Syndrome, the verdict is in- I've got nothing. No fertilized egg, pregnancy glow, or baby growing in me.

And I'll admit, I was a little bummed. I was even working on baby names since my friends won't let me name my next son Jay'Ron after a Virginia Tech football player. I was also down because after a few hot days, I have now realized that we will put off "trying" until Christmas because I just don't feel the need to have a newborn baby to nurse off my sweaty chest next summer. I'd much rather be the beached whale on the side of the pool while my older children play. Or maybe, just maybe, a fit, middle-aged preggo mom that gets talked about for wearing a bikini because I find a pregnant belly nothing short of beautiful. We shall see...:)

In my last blog, I wrote about our pet cow. It's true... We had a few cows growing up. I even gave birth to a cow. Well, not literally, but we had a calf birth go wrong and had to tie a rope to the calves foot and pull it out. It didn't survive. So sad and heartbreaking... and we had to borrow a cow from another area farm to nurse on our mama cow to give the poor thing some comfort. True story. I can't make this stuff up.

Back to Big Red. Big Red was our pet cow that we raised to slaughter. I even wrote a poem about him...

I have a cow named Big Red,
I shovel and rake to make his bed.

I try not to become to close you'll see,
For come November, a T-Bone he'll be.

And that was so true. He turned into a t-bone... eventhough we think that the slaughterhouse sent someone else's cow because our meat was fatty and my dad took great pride in feeding Big Red to make the finest lean meat. Too bad we lost half of our meat when my grandparent's freezer was accidentally left open the day we loaded it up with fresh, white paper covered beef. Cow gone bad. And too bad I never ate Big Red because I became a vegetarian (except for McDonald's hamburgers) for two years. And too bad I still have nightmares of my best friend's brother chasing me around with the frozen beef of Big Red while mooing making me cry. I swear... I really don't make this stuff up.:)

So, if you've hung in here this long... what's all this talk about a cow for?

Lesson of the day: Eat your protein. And if you're like me, you can try a protein shake instead of your furry, best friend.:) Cheers!

And it feels so good...

2011-06-15T19:36:00.000-07:00

Miranda Lambert. I love her. The list of reasons could be a blog in itself... Let's see- I loved her first single ever "Me and Charlie Talking," I remember her going buck-wild on an awards show to the song Kerosene and thinking "that girl just doesn't care!", she goes up and down on the scale and talks about her weight issues with a since of pride and "who gives a rat's ass", she hunts, she's gorgeous... and she's married to Blake Shelton for Pete's sake!!!

I especially love her song "The House That Built Me." My folks have lived in the same house for almost thirty years and I know that their time is nearing an end. When they first built it- people thought we were nuts. We couldn't even have our mailed delivered to us because it was so far out in the sticks and my bus had to stop for cow crossings. We even had a cow! And now the trees across the street have been cleared and they are woken up every day by the sound of construction to new homes on lots the size of a postage stamp. The day they sell and drive away from that house- I might just have a mental breakdown... but for now, I'll cherish it and let my kids run in the fields like I did as a child...

Today I made the great return to another house. Yes, I blogged about how I was going to start group training at my gym... but a part of me has been gone- for over a year now. And I miss it so much that I crave it. After way too long of a hiatus, I held my chin up, gritted my teeth, and walked through the doors of LA BOXING to join. And I already feel amazing.

I've wanted to do this for so long- But after all they did for me, I felt like I had let them down. I skipped a week last summer for vacation. A week turned into a month, a month turned into six, and a year later- I've gained every single pound that I worked to hard to lose back. And it sucks.

I signed my waiver, gloved up, and went to Naser's class. As usual, he was so positive and nice... and said, "It's just like riding a bike." He was right... everything came right back- and despite feeling like I might have a heart attack, causing the class to do round after round of push-ups because I let my guard down, and pissing my pants- I finished. And I was back...

I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
This brokenness inside me might start healing
Out here it’s like I’m someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself

If I could just come in I swear I’ll leave
Won’t take nothing but a memory
From the house that built me

Lambert's song kept running through my head the entire class. I looked around at the walls that I had spent hours upon hours in literally sweating off my fat and making a change in. I remembered how far I came last year and how those very walls helped me find confidence and the Shelley that I had lost while tackling motherhood and letting it become me. I smelled the sweat pouring off of me and this country girl jammed to Soulja Boy and Applebottom Jeans with the best of them. And it happened all over again- I felt alive... and for the rest of the day, I was a better mommy for it.

You might think that I was down staring at my flab bouncing in the mirror- Let me tell ya- jumping rope heel/toe does nothing for the rolls. But that is so far from how I felt. I smiled and enjoyed myself- because I know that I'm on my way again to a healthier me- and that in a few months none of my extra baggage will be on my booty. And more than anything, I learned... it won't take nothing but a memory and that you can go home again.:)

Direct Sales...

2011-06-12T11:02:00.000-07:00

I'm that girl... that girl that you want at your party because I'm a sucker. Not only will I buy product, but I'll also be that easy target and if the consultant mentions a start-up deal to me, I'll be your next home show saleswoman and start a new business venture. Don't you worry- I bet I help earn you an extra half price item. I know, because I've done it like ten times.

Let's see... I've sold Mary Kay (multiple times), Willow House, Thirty-One, Premier Designs Jewelry, Arbonne... the list keeps going. And from them- I've pretty much earned a lot of starter kits, wasted a shit ton of marketing materials, and earned nothing. I've probably even lost money because I tend to give away my discount and not factor in shipping charges, taxes, etc... and end up owing money. It's great.

So, when it was time to write for the summer issue of I Am Modern, I had this master plan to do an amazing piece of journalism. I was so pumped up and got all "Seven on Your Side"-ish and thought I was going to win an award or something for my investigative reporting. Ha!

My premise was that these direct selling companies "prey" on stay-at-home moms, steal our money, and are a scam. I planned on writing how they promise huge rewards and most women get nothing out of it. At first- when I was reading statistics, it was backing up my wonderful thesis. But then, I met some individuals that work for these companies and I found so many consistent traits... and not one of them included negativity. These women are proud of what they do, enjoy it, and are excited to spread the opportunity. And most of all- they believe in their product and are sincere.

From that moment on, my story direction changed and these women taught me so many things.

Amanda Gauldin, a local Arbonne consultant, even sent me samples in the mail.... and one again she proved my theory wrong because she's a cute, young girl that's not a mom.:) She included so many great products for me to try- the spa detox line, appetite control fizzies (hmmmm, I wonder why I received those), and even yummy protein shake powder. And after I tried all of these products- I realized why I get suckered in all the time- because these women that sell these products sell them because they rock!:)

My premise was even more blown away after interviewing a local woman that DOES drive a fabulous Mercedes she earned from her sales. I learned another lady is leaving Monday for a cruise that was paid for by Willow House. And then, My local Mary Kay consultant, Erin Voorheis, let me know how she loves what she does and she's able to earn $100 a week to put towards family activities- teaching me loud and clear that success is what YOU make of it. Things don't have to be all or nothing. You don't have to be the next Regional Vice President to be considered success.

After meeting these amazing women, I penned a completely different story for the summer issue:

http://www.iammodern.com/why-so-many-women-are-choosing-direct-sellilng.html

It's not so much the award-winning whistle blower that I had intended to write, but that's life.:)

I started thinking about things... and eventhough I signed up to sell products for all of these different companies, I only had two parties and never pursued any of it. I not once tried to network, train, recruit,... Nothing. Nada. I never once followed the business plan given to me or attended local meetings for support. Maybe- it is me that should be the statistic.:)

Now looking at things, it's more apparent than ever that my problem has always been follow through. You can have a diet plan, workout plan, and know what you need to do- but if you don't put in the effort, you won't see results.

LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT.:) So for now, I'm headed out to my happy place to enjoy the pool with my family. Don't ya know that diets should always start on a Monday?:)

Blah...

2011-06-08T18:48:00.000-07:00

I LOVE summer. I LOVE the heat. I LOVE the pool. I LOVE the sun.

I'm in my element.

But somehow, I think I got too much today- because I've come down with a nasty sore throat, headache, and runny nose- which baffles me because I don't know how you can "catch a cold" in 100 degree heat.

I will return tomorrow and I hope to get back to regular blogging. I realize I need this blog for accountability and you guys because if not, I'll be skipping workouts all summer long and enjoying my noodle at the pool from sun up until sun down. This time last year I regained my weight and have never bounced back. I'm not gaining more this summer... and I will return to goal weight. Pinky promise.

That Look

2011-05-31T18:59:00.000-07:00

I went swimsuit shopping today. I know you are probably thinking, "Oh goodness,here comes another down and out post." But actually that couldn't be farther from the truth. Then again- anything is an improvement over the swimsuits I sported this weekend. My hubby even hinted that it was time to go shopping because I might as well have been perched on the dock naked since just about everyone could see my nips and camel toe. Oh well, shit happens.

I headed to the mall expecting to cry in the dressing room. Instead, angels sang and I found not one, but two swimsuits that I feel comfortable in. Never in my right mind did I foresee me shopping in Sears of all places and granted, I'm not sporting a 'kini like I dream of. I'm in suits that are great for a mom- Ya know- a little skirt in case I didn't get a chance to shave down under... I mean so that I can chase the chitlin's around and all... But, I found what I think are cute suits that don't scream, "I'm a mom and completely let myself go."

And today, I realized it all comes down to attitude. I got a shower and went to the mar feeling good about myself. And when I tried on my suits, I held my shoulders back, sucked the tummy in, and didn't sulk at my muffin top or the sight of my lower ledge hanging over my pubes.

Have you ever been on your way to feeling good- maybe three drinks in, and you and your girlfriends decide to do that one last primp before heading out the door to the bar? Ya know, it might be that fine moment about ten minutes before you're drunk and your cheeks start drooping- when you feel like you are beautiful- like ya got it going on. You might even pucker up and give a sexual look to the mirror... and roar. Or maybe not. But anyways, you feel like you are ready to take on the world, run into anyone, and feel young again... at least for the fleeting second while you are clearly buzzing.

Picture this- I was standing in the tiny dressing room being royally grossed out by the panty hygiene liners- Ugh- You know others have tried on that very same swimsuit without undies- and I can't say that I leave mine on- Double Ugh... and after getting over the grossness, I struck a pose. And eventhough I'm a lardass at the moment, I gave that look. The look of confidence... and dare I say it- the look of, "I love myself." For a girl that struggles with confidence and body issues, this was huge.

I can't tell you how good it felt to be so over negative thoughts of when did I get all that cellulite or "is that really my backside in that mirror- it can't be." Lately I've realized- Life is too short. It's summertime for pete's sake! My days are about to be spent by the pool. So, I'm heavy and not in shape like I want to be... but it's time to stop living for the moments, and live in the moment. I'm no longer freaking out about having to lose weight for this or for that... but I'm going to do it for myself. I'm a work in progress and I can feel that change is on the horizon... maybe even enough change that I can have that look all on my own... because it feels great- and even better the next morning without the help of cocktails.:) Roar.:)

TNT... We're dynamite, yeah. Tick, Tick, Tick, Boom Dynamite!

2011-05-28T18:43:00.000-07:00

Shake 'em, Shake 'em, Yell out "Baby needs some shoes," and shoot.

And if you are like me, your baby probably has more shoes than she/he knows what to do with. I know mine sure do. My daughter has a pair of sparkly Tom's like I've been pining over every time I stroll through Nordstrom... She even has cute cowgirl boots, flip flops galore, Sauconys, every color of Mary Janes available, Saltwaters, Lelli Kellys... I could go on forever. And me, well, I have two buck specials from Old Navy. Don't worry, I don't leave my son out. He has a swimsuit for every day of the week, and as we were riding in the car last week, he informed me he needed trunks with his initials on them. Be still my heart, he's picked up on my love of monograms, so I'm sure he'll have a pair before week's end... as I wear my Costco blue light special, ill-fitting tankini... Or better yet, my worn out, three year old suit that caused my son to inform me that he can see my "boobie balls" a.k.a. nipples because the pads fell out one too many times in the wash, so I chucked them. Nice.

In my household, that's just the way it is. Our kids don't go without... and not that we go without by any means... but let's just say our needs (or more like wants) are always put on the back burner.

Just when we thought it was a easy month due to no preschool payments- fall football registration is due, soccer registration is going on, swim lessons need to be paid, and the list goes on... So when I decided to try TNT training, I knew it wasn't a good idea. And I was right- because I LOVE it!

TNT training is one of those group exercise programs they offer at my gym- Sport & Health. I've walked by the sign for months wanting to check it out... but knowing that if I liked it we would have to figure out something financially. But for months I've gone to the gym only to socialize and do an easy workout on a cardio machine with no results. I walk by the guy in the fluorescent yellow shirt (yeah, we see ya, buddy) wanting to take that step and join his class.

And when an e-mail arrived in my inbox offering a free week, I finally took that step.

Loved it.

And their marketing plan worked... because I'm a sucker and am now two steps away from promising my hubby sexual favors to join this program- especially after this super cute, totally in shape lady in the class dropped a hint that TNT really works because one year ago, she, too was 160. O.k.., I'm not really 160 yet, but I'll pretend.:)

It may be in my head, but after one week of training, I was down three pounds, felt tighter, and had even paid attention to what I was eating this week- because when you have your butt kicked for an hour, and have to do a check-in with the instructor every session, you really don't want to mess up.

O.K. y'all... I have high hopes that with a few episodes of Extreme Couponing, making changes such as driving the beater, I mean Civic instead of our gas guzzling minivan at times, and cutting back on eating out, this can be done without me having to sell a liver on the black market. So blow on that dice, and hopefully I'll be reporting back over these next few months with results for once.

Ready, set, shake, rattle, blow, and roll... because Mama needs some shoes, too.:)

My Master's

2011-05-23T18:54:00.000-07:00

I love my brothers... If you read this blog it is probably quite easy to tell that we're a close knit bunch. So, when my brother graduated from U.V.A. yesterday with his M.B.A., I, being the die hard Hokie that I am, let it slide and traveled to Charlottesville for the ceremony.

What quite frankly was my idea of hell- driving two hours with my kids to sit and listen to speeches, keeping them occupied for two hours in the heat, only to do the whole picture thing before turning around and driving two hours all over again... turned out to be a lovely day.

With the help of playdough, my children were entertained and the first guest speaker- one of my brother's classmates- an easy on the eyes middle-aged Navy Seal- caught my attention. Easy, easy... not because of his good looks, but because of his insight. He spoke of how when he received his first degree, it was just that- a degree. He spoke of how it often takes time for one to appreciate what you have accomplished and to reap the rewards.

Coming from a family where my parents, grandparents, etc. didn't attend college, we were always brought up that not going to college wasn't an option. My mom engrained in us that we were going to college and we were going to graduate... and she told us every day, "Your education is the one thing no one can take away from you." And to this day, she says that when all three of her children graduated college, that was one of her biggest accomplishments in life.

College was quite the experience for me... from what I remember.:) But yesterday, that Navy Seal got me thinking... I worked hard for that piece of paper, and I never really think twice about it. I'm a stay-at-home mommy and continuing my education doesn't ever cross my mind, but he's right. Now, I appreciate my degree. It is almost my own little validation and something that I'm extremely proud of. I am proud to be a graduate, and more than anything forever a Hokie at heart.

Getting to my main point... When the other speakers started rambling over my head and I lost interest, I looked at my mom and saw the pride on her face. And I know that one day, that God willing that will be me watching my children. Of course, my mind didn't stop there, I kept hearing Judy Booty's words, "Your education is one thing that no one can take away from you." And then the record screeched and I realized I never want to write a paper, take a test, or have any part in that again. I'm content just where I am in life. For once.:)

Any my mind kept going...

"Your body is one thing that is in your control and no one can take away." So while some are working to climb the corporate ladder, further their education, and so on... I love where I'm at in my life, but my personal goal is to improve my skin. Silly to some, but I know that others get what I'm saying. I love my life of shuttling children, playing Barbies, and kissing boo-boos, but I also deserve a moment's peace to work on me... and the one thing that I would give anything for is to have a body that I'm proud of- A body that doesn't hold me back from doing things, that doesn't have thoughts that go through my head every single hour about how things would be different "if" I could just lose weight, a body that I can shop for clothes without getting depressed.... and so on.

I give my everything to my kids and family. Day in and day out, but it is time to work on myself as well. And hopefully, this go around I will stay in shape long enough to reflect back on my hard work and appreciate it.:)

M.I.A.

2011-05-14T18:26:00.000-07:00

I'm busy. Just plain, down-right busy. Back in the days as a newlywed, I was a little worker bee. While my hubby was in flight school, I'd wake up to work in the public school system. When the bell rang, I would run to my car and head over to a group home for kid's and work an eight hour shift until midnight. And on weekends, I'd pick up overnights to make ends meet. Ya know- I went to school to find me a man- and my major never did bring home the bacon. I remember I was making $7.47 an hour- and in Norman, Oklahoma, somehow that was enough to survive.

My mama always said, "There are queen bees and there are worker bees, and I for one, am a queen bee." But I think when it comes down to it, we are all worker bees... and queen bees at heart.:) Women know how to pull through. Whether it's simple things like keeping a child entertained with a pop bottle or something major like reinventing yourself for a new phase of life, we adapt.

Blogger, the program I use to blog, was down for maintenance this week. It was music to my ears... and an excuse not to blog. I'm going at it alone this month while my hubby is in training and ya know what? It feels good. Not that I want it to be this way- and yes I'll be waiting at the door with bells on when the hubz arrives home (maybe literally)... but it's been an empowering couple of weeks.

It feels good to get everything done by myself. I'm doing things I would never do with his presence- like mow the lawn, brush my kids teeth (not that I don't do that, but that's usually daddy ground), and unclog the toilets.

Today, I was on top of it all. I made it to a shoe tying clinic at Nordstrom and my son became a pro shoe-tier- and is quite proud might I add. Then, I realized I had thirty minutes to make it to baseball and I had forgotten drinks for the snack. I rushed to Harris Teeter, improvised and bought a freezer bag, a bag of ice, and a twelve pack of Gatorade. I high-tailed it to the game, put it all together, and called the hubz to tell him how proud I was for my valiant effort... only to hear, "Shelley, we have snack next week. And we don't have drinks, we have food."

Damn.

O.k... so maybe we can't do it all, but I sure have been busy trying. And today, for the first time in foreva... I ate well. And healthy. Hallelujah!

Enough babbling. I'm going to spend my hot Saturday night cuddled with the kiddos. And if I seem M.I.A. for the next week or so, it's not that I'm not trying. Instead of my routine of blogging with my Diet Coke in hand and decompressing, I'm hitting the hay and counting down the moments until the hubby's arrival because I'm pooped. Wow, did I just say pooped? You can tell I'm lacking in adult conversation. But it's all good- I'm enjoying every minute of it, and I know I'll survive.:) Buzz. Buzz.

Let's Pretend

2011-05-08T06:04:00.000-07:00

Little girls laughing- That's one of my favorite sounds in the entire world. The sound of laughter when they don't know you're listening in and it just sounds like pure joy. It usually occurs when they are playing dress-up and pretending to be pretty, pretty princesses. Their outfits don't match, they look like a hot mess- like a real life Fancy Nancy, but yet they think they look so fabulous...

I remember the days of playing pretend. I used to always name my baby dolls "Ashley Marie" and my Cabbage Patch Kids were the coolest things since sliced bread. I loved playing house- that is when I wasn't busy pretending I was Miss Elizabeth from the W.W.F. or She-Ra.

And then I grew up.

I grew up and realized that life is not a fairy tale and you don't have the chance to dwell on things and play pretend. Today is Mother's Day, and for me it's a day of reflection. The day I became a wife and the day I became a mother, all my dreams came true. And I let my body go down hill... I spend all my time taking care of others and am fulfilled doing just that. Until I look in the mirror.

I've been struggling lately with how do you go from bad to good? How do you go from loving a Big Mac to digging a grilled chicken breast? How do you go from downing Diet Coke like it's going out of style to toting ice cold H2O? How do you change your schedule from revolving around your kids to finding the time to work on yourself? And I've come to the conclusion- You have to want it.

I worked out with my trainer this week, and as I watched her bust her ass on the step machine and then move to the weights, I caught myself staring at her body. No, no- not in some lesbo sort of way, but truly just looking at how beautiful it was and knowing that if I work hard, I could be that girl that I once was.

So, I've decided that I'm going to play pretend.

I'm going to pretend that I'm a health nut. I'm going to pretend that I have to have my daily workout and that I can't go to bed until it's done for the day. I'm going to pretend that I enjoy protein shakes, water, and salad. I'm going to pretend.

Maybe one day, I'll find a way to love these things... but for now I will pretend. And who knows, I just might be that little girl laughing in a few months at all the crap I blog about on here. Laughing pure joy that I'm at 139 and that I'm that pretty, pretty, princess.:)

A little of this, a little of that...

2011-05-04T12:35:00.000-07:00

I'm here- alive and well.:) After my few depressing, down in the dumps posts,I received a few e-mails checking on my well-being. Too sweet. Looking back, I probably sounded a little psycho- almost like I had a little Britney moment and shaved my head or something. The truth is, I loved my long, flowing locks. But my long, flowing locks, were sure to break in half if they spent a month in the pool this summer, so I figured I might as well have them chopped at a nice salon since Daddy Warbucks only agrees to four visits to my stylist a year.

Speaking of Big Daddy, he's M.I.A. for the month. Work calls, and so I'm single parenting... and let me just say- Much love and mad props to those of you that do this regularly. Pat yourself on the back because you deserve it. I will say that I have a fresh outlook this month. Just when your hubby drives you crazy, when he is called away, you realize how much you miss his pile of laundry that he can't pick up and move two measley feet to the hamper. You miss his cup hidden in a random cabinet because he doesn't like reusing new ones all day. You miss his shoes constantly being left out... and you might even miss a dutch oven or two... or maybe just that warm body that provides instant security like nothing else in this entire world. And before you know it... you miss him. Everything about him. Well, not everything. I'm loving my Charmin and forgoing the one-ply Scotts that he loves this month.:)

Rereading this blog, I realize my weight loss issues are all about me, me, me. I fail to give my hubby credit. He has never complained about my weight gain. Not once. And let me just tell ya, I don't even resemble that girl that he took his vows with. So, what's my plan? It's to be hard core this month. I'm playing a little game and pretending he's in the military and I'm one of those wives that loses a gazillion pounds and looks like a new woman when her hubby returns. O.k., O.k., so I only have a few weeks, but you get my drift. If I keep up with it, I might even make another blog public- where I keep my weight, food, and exercise journal logged. But I might not even have the guts to do that. I can easily blog about my China... but you might really be offended if you see what I eat. We'll see. Maybe that's the accountability I desperately need.

A good friend wrote me this weekend after reading my blog and said:

"We all have body issues, mental issues, relationship issues. No one is perfect and even all those cute little ladies I see at the gym fight some sort of inner demon! I am just excited to get up everyday and try to do it all over again."

Love this... That little blurb was enough to make me realize just how lucky I am. Lucky to have the friends I have, my precious family, and to live such an easy life. Even if I am a little crazy.

Here's to another day.:)

Never again.

2011-04-28T20:38:00.001-07:00

I need to bookmark this post. Sometimes I think I'm crazy for sharing all that I do here. Some of you might think I'm down and out reading this. I'm really not... but there's no faking or hiding it- I'm disgusted with my body.

Today was the day I was supposed to pick out a cute little frock to wear to a family wedding that is on a boat this weekend. I wanted something bright and fun. Instead, I went from store to store with money to blow... and came home with a pair of earrings. I didn't even buy shoes, because I swear even my piggies have gone up a size in footwear.

It was one of those days of sheer terror. I've had all this time to lose weight for this wedding, and then the time came and I was in defense mode. I was thinking- What can I possibly buy to make me look thin, take a few pounds off, and flatter my big ass that is even more apparent since I chopped a good 8 inches off my hair yesterday? Yep, security blanket of the lion's mane is now history. Things were so bad, and the size of clothing I was trying on was a size I've never reached for in my entire life, so what did I do?

I started searching. And it wasn't for clothes.

I googled HCG clinics in Northern Virginia. I searched Diets to Go. I walked the aisle in Target and was thisclose to buying Hydroxycut. And I even called the Physicians Weight Loss Center and tried to phenagle how I can get the hubz to let me use our leftover flexible spending money on a doctor supervised weight loss program instead of scheduling that crown that I've been putting off.

And then I realized. This feeling that I have right now and the reflection I see in the mirror is all I need. Today, I hit my breaking point.

I can turn to fads and continue this cycle of being really good nutrition wise until 11:00 and then binging the rest of the day, or I can make a change and work hard to be healthy. And it was at that point that I turned into the crazy woman in the dressing room in the most dramatic rose ceremony ever and took my vows to myself.

I vow to treat my body with respect. I will do everything in my power to never, ever feel like this again. I dream of the day that I don't pinch my rolls, have to suck it all in, or even think about what I'm going to wear. This is it. Never again.

Freak in The Bed...

2011-04-25T13:04:00.000-07:00

I had huge plans. Even detailed. I was chatting with my friend at the gym and had concocted a plan to be waiting for the hubby when he returned from work late at night in a nightie, with music going, and candles lit. I might even have been freshly showered and shaved, too... but I wasn't sure if I should pull the big guns out. Afterall, I don't know if we've had candles lit since P.B. days... as in pre-baby time. Oh- and if you overheard two middle-aged women at the gym practicing a sexual growl-like "Hey baby, Come to Mama,"... that just might have been me.:)

And then it happened. Aunt Flo came on with a vengence. Like a moth to a flame, she reared her ugly head... and it was downhill from there.

Let's just say- Men always say they want a lady in the street and a freak in the bed. Well, my hubby got just that... a freak in the bed for the next six straight days. But I'm not sure if that was what he wanted.

I was a freak. As in freakazoid. Anything and everything could set me off. I was full of emotions, would cry at the drop of a hat, and the best case scenario was that I was asleep... fast asleep in my bed.

I'm always a happy-go-lucky gal... but I really think the hormones got the best of me. Note: Not a good idea to go on birth control and continuously take it for three months so you don't have your period during your half marathon and then suddenly go off of it a month later. You might experience issues and question whether you need to see a psychologist. And then you might want to hug any friend you have that suffers from depression, mental issues, or any sort of issue... because when you can't control how your feel, it's no joke.

Thankfully... I made it through my hell week. I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted. Despite eating continuously for a week straight and now officially weighing two pounds shy of the day I delivered my babies, I have a smile on my face.

Tomorrow officially starts Mission Get Shelley's Body Back, but for now... the hubby comes home tonight. And after what he put up with last week, I might even shit, shower, AND shave. And I might even leave a light on... because my baby loves me just the way that I am.

Let It Be

2011-04-17T09:17:00.000-07:00

I love my life... but the one thing I struggle with (besides this whole diet and exercise thing) is contentment. It seems as though I'm constantly searching. If it's not one thing, it's another. I'm searching for a new sofa, free activities for the kids, a new park to try out, a new diet or quick fix that never pans out, a new hairstyle... I could go on forever. If I'm given twenty dollars I try to concoct a plan as to how to get fifty. If I polish my counters, I don't admire them, I just move onto doing the floor. I'm always thinking one step ahead and it drives me nuts.

On Sunday, we had a good morning. All four of us managed to shower and make it out the door to church on time- sometimes a small feat of it's own.:) I always feel like it's going to be a good week when I make it to a sermon. The kids learn about Jesus, my hubby and I squeeze hands during hymns and I feel that happy love, and I always leave inspired. Except for this Sunday.

Our Pastor stood silently by beautiful candles as members of the church read the story leading up to Easter Sunday while one by one the candles were blown out. At the end, every candle was out and our Pastor left us hanging- in darkness. He quietly challenged us to remember the story and sacrifices sweet Jesus made during the week leading up until Easter. While Easter is a time of celebration, resurrection, and life, it took the exact opposite to get there.

We were left with no answers, no weekly feel good message, or happy ending (although we know it is to come.:) While my children left church with palms in hand gleefully singing "Hosanna", I felt like I had been cheated- kind of like watching an entire Redbox DVD only to have it be scratched with twenty minutes remaining.

After a few hours, I realized what happened at church was like my life. Instead of always hopping to what's next in life, thinking about how I can make things better, or what bandwagon I can jump on next, sometimes the best dose of medicine is to slow down, think, and relish the moment. For the best is yet to come.

I guess in the end, I was more inspired than I ever knew. And a valuable lesson was learned- it doesn't hurt to hit the pause button in life.

Speaking words of wisdom, Let it be, Let it be.:)

Tootin' My Own Horn...

2011-04-14T19:04:00.001-07:00

Day 2 down- No soda! Considering I could kill a 2 liter by 4pm- This is amazing. And if you see me convulsing or slipping into a coma- No worries- It's probably just me detoxing...

I'm headed to bed... before midnight! This could be a record. I don't want a caffiene headache to come on.

No soda, and a good night's sleep. I'm thinking this could be a whole new Shellster!

I'll Be Back...

2011-04-13T13:34:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers...

What's shakin' your bacon? Just thought I would
D
R
O
P

you a ____________.:)

I'll be back (of course said like Arnold)... Famous last words, right!?! Just wanted to let ya know I'm gone, but hopefully not forgotten... and hope to return super soon! Things have just been crazy busy- full of kid's activities, deadlines for the magazine, my Nanny entering the hossy... you name it, and it's happened!

Looking forward to getting back in the groove and returning to my online diary ASAP... like tomorrow.:)

L.Y.L.A.S.,

(Did you ever used to write that on notes at school? And that got me wondering- do kids in school even write notes to each other, or do they text, just talk, etc.? I know I used to covet the good "note folders" and the anticipation of a good, LONG note from a friend. And if it was secretly passed without the teacher knowing, it meant even more.:) I think LYLAS (love ya like a sister) and TTYL was just us being way ahead of our time back then- one little step away from LOL and other internet slang. Yes, random thought of the day.:))

Shelley

Planned Parenthood...

2011-04-09T06:02:00.000-07:00

I'm a republican. I vote by my party and am usually pretty conservative. Key word usually. I campaigned during the last election and have strong feelings on certain issues. And that's about where it ends. Because to tell ya the truth, I honestly can't tell you who our governor is, how I feel or where I stand on abortion, or the least bit of factual information about the government shutdown. Slap my wrist, I'm uninformed.

What I can tell you is that I hate government programs that help people that shouldn't be helped. I can't stand the government housing bailout- don't even get me started on that subject because I do have opinions. Buying a 700,000 home when you bring home $5,000 a month... Um, if you are so wondeful to afford that home, maybe you should have run the numbers and realized that your poor ass couldn't afford it. Stop blaming the mortgage companies and spare me. I can't stand it when I see people on food stamps that use food stamps to buy their groceries and then proceed to use their money to buy 20 packs of cigs or 50 pounds of cat food. I can't stand abused unemployment... and the list goes on and on. I can't stand these things... but I can guarantee this- I can't stand them... until I walk in other people's shoes. While I'm still against these programs until they are regulated properly (and how that's supposed to be done, I have no idea)... I can promise you that I can take any Republican out there and link them to someone that uses a program that we are against... and "in that situation" when it applies to them, they support it. And for me, that's Planned Parenthood.

The story goes something like this: During my sophomore year in college, by BFF and I decided to travel to Florida to watch my hunka-hunka burning love (as in my hubby:)) play in a college baseball tourney. Back then, anyone could walk to the gate at the airport even if you weren't boarding a plane. I was nineteen years old and still too timid to fly standby all by myself (my mom worked for the airlines) so my mommy tagged along with me for moral support. I had my carry-on backpack and my tail started sweating as we went through security. And just my luck, my backpack caused alarm... and had to be searched. Busted. Right in front of Judy Booty, the authorities pulled out none other than her blender. Ha! Blades and all, it was allowed to be returned to my bookbag for boarding and let me just tell ya that it made some mighty fine cocktails during that trip.:) My mom still tells that story ... but what is still a secret to this day is why my tail was sweating. Trust me- I could have cared less about the blender being found- that was just a typical Shelley moment. What I was freaking out about was the fact that my birth control pack was in my bookbag. I was convinced that the tin foil backing on the pills had set off the alarm and my mama was going to find out I was on the pill. God forbid. Little did my mama know... the truth is out now.

Ya see, my family didn't talk about sex. We had great insurance and I could have easily gotten any medication from my family doctor. But I chose to walk through the doors of the New River Valley Planned Parenthood, and it was one of the best things I ever did.

Sitting in the waiting room, I saw people from all walks of life that truly needed help. And Planned Parenthood provides that. I was treated with respect, seen by a doctor, given the pill, and then had to sit with a "counselor" who explained the pill- as well as all kind of facts about S-E-X. I was informed about risks, precautions I needed to take, and for the first time felt like the subjuct of sex wasn't so faux pas. And that led to a three year positive relationship with Planned Parenthood.

Thank you government for funding my choice- even when this upper middle-class girl didn't need your aid. I am forever indebted to you and can't thank you enough for spending your precious dollars on me. And in the end, I know that your money was worth it. I made it out of college without STD's, in charge of my sexual health, and low and behold didn't find myself knocked up.

If through the eyes of Republicans abortions shouldn't be made, shouldn't clinics such as Planned Parenthood be available to women who need them? To me, if you are so worried about a fetus, you should be providing their mom prenatal care. As a group home counselor that was always taking pregnant teens to appointments, perhaps if teens knew they could go to a Planned Parenthood for protection, we would be stuck with babies raising babies. I could go on and on, but that's just my little spiel and support for Planned Parenthood...

Maybe Sarah Palin should have urged other Republicans about their stance on Planned Parenthood. Because let me tell ya- nothing about parenthood is planned. And Bristol sure could have used their services.

For the record... I would've still voted for her. The pro's outweight the con's.:)

Do-Overs

2011-04-03T17:59:00.000-07:00

"There are no regrets in life, just lessons."
-Jennifer Anniston

Do-Over’s. Sometimes I wish you could just snap your fingers and have a do-over... like in the movies- You could shoot a retake. But then I think long and hard and realize mistakes are a part of being human. And if I could go back in time and fix all the mistakes I have made, I wouldn't- because it has made me who I am today. Honest. I swear.

But let's be clear- do-over's cross my mind daily.

It can be big things... Like why was I such a hussy when I was a teenager, why did I treat my parents soooo mean, why did I ever begin coloring my hair, or why did I think that at age seventeen a tattoo was a good idea?

And then I smile.

For if I wasn't such a wild and crazy loosey goosey, I can bet my bottom dollar that it wouldn't have been a good idea to get married and seal the deal at age 22... :) If I hadn't of treated my parents so horrible, would I be so close to them today and deeply appreciate them the way I do? If I had never colored my hair- sure I'd save thousands of dollars and fights with the hubby, but would I have gotten to fly to Chicago with my momma to have Oprah's peeps correct my chemically hot mess of hair? Or would I have the memories of going "Summer Blonde" from a Wally-World box with my B-F-F. (Note- Not a good idea.) But for the record- that summer, Blondes had more fun.:) And granted, I wanted a daisy the size of my thumbnail and got a flower with snake tongues coming out of it the size of a dolla-dolla bill... but would I be able to look in the mirror today and suddenly be put in a good mood by my faded out tat? I can't lie, I sometimes look at my backside in the mirror, see my tat, and pretend that I'm still young and dangerous and shake it a little... But then I see the stretch mark and back fat that surround my petite daisy that has been stretched to a weed.:) And then I just think to myself... Good Times, Good Times.

It can also be little things... like feeling bad because I let my children watch one too many flicks on our newfound best friend- Netflix. Or should I have really gotten my panties in a bunch because my hubby didn't switch the laundry or put his shoes in the closet. Or did my life come to an end because I didn't pick up the playroom before I climbed in bed at night?

And then I just think to myself... It is what it is. Live, love, and learn.

The important thing is that you learn from your mistakes and live without regrets. So now that I'm at the highest weight ever, can feel my flab, and literally feel disgusting- I'm learning. But looking back, I just wasn't into it the past few months. The bread at night soothed me. The cake pops made the rainy day taste just a little bit better. And all the bad food decisions and skipped workouts have led me to where I am today. At least I know what not to do and I know how much this really sucks ballz...

It sucks. But, tomorrow is a new day. Sunshine, shakes, and swimming are in my future... and those shakes will be gagged down because they are healthy and full of protein.;)

149 by the beach. Dare me.:)

NO EXCUSES...

2011-03-23T19:57:00.000-07:00

LOCKED OUT. Yep, that's right, completely locked out of my house. Stranded with two kids past their bedtime only to find out that after a fabulous dinner at our neighbors, that I had moseyed on down the street without taking my keys. Yes, I mosey, and say mosey, and by God, I'm proud of it.:)

So after being rescued by Big Daddy Mike and Judy Booty, this morning my day started out by paying a locksmith $85 for popping my lock with a credit card- the exact same motions we had tried the night before. And then the show had to go on. I had to get my rear in gear to get my son on the bus and my daughter off to swim lessons. After a couple errands, it was back to meet the bus and hurry off to a baseball clinic... where my greasy, stanky, unshowered self was oh so lucky to run into my high school soccer coach. Just my luck. After baseball, we piled into my swagger wagon and hightailed it to Tae Kwon Do... and then we visited my Nanny and Pappy only to dine on some meals on wheels milk cartons and fresh fruit... government money at its best. No seriously- they deserve that service. Especially since rude, awful human beings try to take advantage of the elderly. Let me just tell ya- if I had been there twenty minutes earlier when the driveway guys stopped by and wanted to seal my grandparent's driveway for a mere $2,000... No joke- you read that right, $2,000 to seal their small, suburban driveway, I might have called the cops right then and there. At least I feel better that I have their flyer so that my uncle can give them an ear full or report their sorry asses. And then the rain storm came and I had to carry two sleeping kids in, only for them to wake up and take no less than two hours to get settled back in bed.

Sorry... it's just been one of those days.

In fact, I have a lot of those days. Days where I put myself last and pull the mom card. Ya know... I'm a mom, that's why. I'm a mom- that's why I haven't gotten a shower, I have a car full of uniforms, crayons, and sippy cups, and I am overweight and frumpy. People just don't realize what life is like until they are a mom. There's no time for me. I put every one else first and I'm on the back burner. My time will come.

That's the story of my life. My time will come. I'll make it to the gym tomorrow. I'll eat better tomorrow. The kids need this, the kids need that. I can't start today because I have to be here and I have to be there. I can't start this weekend because it is my Nanny's birthday. Random fact: My grandma, my hubby's grandma, AND my best friend's grandma were all born on the exact same day. Crazy, huh- so by all means March 26th is just out of the question to be good on the diet so it will have to wait until next week...

Or not.

Not all moms turn into lumpy, washed up, dried out housewives. Just because you have a kid doesn't mean your body needs to look like it. Need inspiration?

Enter Meg:

Clearly, she had a baby in her belly at some point. It's also apparent that she wasn't one of those, "I only gained 15 pounds" wanna shoot them in their face chicks. If you're wondering, it was 44 lbs, she started at 137 and was a size 6 and got up to 181 pounds.

And after giving birth, she had every reason to continue eating and not working out. She could have looked like a has-been and had excuse after excuse, but she didn't.

And this is what happens when you quit the excuses and make time for yourself. Size 2 bitches.

Dayum. There is hope. I'll take what she's having. Even if it is a salad. Tomorrow is a new day.:)

CWLG: Guest Speaker and Guest Blog:)

2011-03-21T19:30:00.000-07:00

Have you ever finally gotten a moment to yourself after the kids are down for the count, and then realized that an entire sleeve of thin mints disappeared while you were watching TV? Not that that has ever happened to me... Just Sayin'.

This Thursday night (March 24th), we'll be having our next "official" Community Weight Loss Group meeting at 7:30pm at 21027 Courtland Village Drive Leesburg, VA. As always, it is an open, free meeting for any of you that struggle with your weight... or just need a girl's night out- and I'm so excited for our guest speaker- Lori Barthlow.

She is a wealth of information and will be sharing tips and tricks about Mindful Eating- and to give you a little preview, she's hijacking my rambling mess of a blog with an actual professional, well-written, insightful piece of literature... Enjoy, and find out even more by joining us on Thursday or by visiting her website at www.rejuvenatecoaching.com.

Mindful Eating: Knowing What Your Body is Telling You
By: Lori Barthlow, MPH, CWC

Why did I eat that again? Have you asked yourself this question about a million times? Do you even remember where you ate your last meal? How many times have you felt stuffed and completely miserable after you’ve eaten?

These are all symptoms of Mindless Eating. What if you could be more mindful when you eat and better understood the reasons why you eat? If you practice mindfulness you can begin to take charge of your ability to make conscious decisions to fuel your body.

Fabulous, but what’s mindful eating? Mindful eating is the ability to focus your attention and awareness on the here and now. It allows you the ability to disseminate between your physical, emotional and environmental cues to hunger. After all, we eat to fuel our body right?

Here are some strategies to help you eat mindfully:

Get off auto pilot: Sit down take a moment and decide if you are hungry? Take a deep breath in and reconnect. Are you hungry or is something bothering you?
Address your needs: You have a choice! Do you want to eat because you are bored, tired, sad, or thirsty? Do you feel hunger pangs, are you grumpy, or are you dizzy?
Determine how full you want be when you are done eating: Deciding how you want to feel when you are done eating can make all the difference in the world. We eat to feel better than we did when we started right? If you don’t know how you want to feel when you are done eating, how are you going to know when to stop?

Create a pleasant food zone: Sit down and eat your meal, make it a pleasant experience. When is the last time you had a nice place to eat, free of paper and chaos?

Midway check in: Check in about midway into to your meal and determine how you feel. Do you feel satisfied? Are you starting to feel a full stomach? Do want to eat more food because is just tastes so good? Know how you are feeling.

Enjoy the experience of eating: Eat slowly and enjoy your food. Savor the aromas, the texture, and the taste; you’ll be glad you did.

Reflect: Pay attention to how you feel now that you are done eating. If you feel full and uncomfortable, use it as a learning experience and try again next time to finish your meal with the intention of feeling satisfied.

When you begin to become more mindful of your eating experience, you will learn to reconnect to your innate ability to know when you are hungry.

Down But Not Out...

2011-03-17T17:40:00.000-07:00

Blah. There's no other way to describe my eating and working out this week than just plain old BLAH... Well, maybe I could use horrible, in a rut, disgusting... You get my drift.

To tell you the truth, before I left for the half marathon, I had it planned out in my head. I was going to return from Disney, blog about my race, and pen that just like I had done in the race, this blog had run its course and was done. The end.

But for some reason, I can't let go.

One year ago, I had lost over twenty pounds, was feeling great, and was even a guest speaker at a national conference. I returned from the conference energized and being the person that I am... I had big dreams. I had learned that there are actually bloggers that make six figures from doing exactly what I do here. The conference even gave us tips on how to start out on our journey. After hearing that no one pays attention to blogspot blogs (which I have), the hubz and I even bought www.theknockoutmama.com and www.knockoutmama.com. I learned how you need to "network", follow and comment on other blogs, and become proactive in this "blogging field." And guess what, I did none of the above.

For those of you that know me, I'm crazy. I'll admit it- I'm always "searching." I want a new house, new boobs, new everything. I guess I crave change. That will probably never change- because, well, that's just me...

I'm always on a mission. I want to be a singer, but I can't sing. I want to be a dancer, but I can't dance. I remember when I first got married, I called my mom and told her I needed to use her benefits (she worked for United Airlines) because I wanted to go on an interview to be a flight attendant. She was excited, but then reminded me that I have a fear of flying. I want to be a weight loss blogger, but I can't lose weight... But one thing I've learned while writing this blog is that in my every day life- when I'm not full of crazy, flaky ideas- I'm fine just being me.

I love being a mom. I always wanted to be just like my mom and stay-at-home and take care of the kids- that was my life's ambition.:) I actually like my kids driving me crazy, finding the joy in getting a chance to shower, and the worst part of my day being complaining about how my husband doesn't find the "need" in paying for Pump It Up this week. If that's the worst it can be, I think I have it made.

Sometimes I think society makes one question our own decisions. Doors were opening and I had so many writing opportunities, was invited to functions, etc... and I was turning them down. And after soul searching, I've just come to the realization that I'm never going to be Carrie Bradshaw, nor do I want to be. I just don't picture me handing "knockout mama" cards to strangers and self promoting myself.... ever. I'm a country girl at heart, and I'm quite fine with my little ole blog.:)

Long story short... I had become a little "stressed out" with blogging. I felt like I needed to blog often to keep up my readership, felt like I was failing because I hadn't worked to "grow" my blog, felt it was taking time away from my family, and it just wasn't fun anymore. And when I took time off from writing... I missed it.

I sometimes feel like Doogie Howser at my computer. And at times this blog keeps me sane. I've made good, close friends from writing this blog- women I completely admire and look up to. And on weeks like this, I've had girlfriends checking in on me pestering me- I mean motivating me to get to the gym. And don't get me wrong, I do get random perks... This week I was offered free spring break camp for my children at Kinder Care if I blog about it. Hmmmmmm... tempting.

From now on, I'm not looking at this blog as turning it into a business. I'm not stressing if I don't post often, and it's just going to be my little diary- I guess that means not much is changing. Be prepared to read all about my juicy life... like how I pee my pants, when I need to get some from my hubby, and how I've gained yet another pound. And if you stick around- I love ya- and please know that YOU are the reasons that I write.

*Conscience cleared. Now it's time to get back on track and starve for swimsuit season... Joke people. You know I could never starve. :)

Thanks gang.
Clowns to the left of me,
Jokers to my right,
Here I am stuck in the middle with you

Disney, Oh Disney

2011-03-15T19:58:00.000-07:00

Walt Disney World- It's that trip that millions of families take every year because it is almost a right of passage, it's what everyone else does, because it really is truly magical, or maybe for some- all of the above.

Planning for a Walt Disney World trip usually starts months in advance- Ya know, trying to get all the info you can from mom's messageboards, searching for deals, and finding yourself with the likes of Disney lifers on disboards.com. Once your trip is booked, you then spend precious time fretting over where you are going to eat and trying to score that golden Cinderella's Royal Table reservation. It might even progress to plotting out where you can get your best snack value, what buffet serves up Mickey Mouse waffles, and how you can get around making your child eat from the children's menu. I know, because I did all of the above.

After spending a week in Disney with my family, it was almost blinding how Americans are obese. We have a problem people. It was impossible to walk ten yards without passing an ice cream cart or some sort of refreshment stand. And when a weight loss blogger such as myself feels pretty damn hot and skinny- you know there's a problem. Let me just take a second to vent...

-Women of America... They make strapless bras for a reason. Wear them.

-If you are 350 pounds and in a skin tight vortex get-up, expect me to stare. I can see your rolls, your belly button, and lord knows what else. You are asking for my eyes to be on you. There is such a thing as playing up your assets- and I didn't mean ass. I wear flowy shirts for a reason. So when you catch me gawking at ya, you asked for it. And then later, when I realize I might have been wrong- take it as a compliment- because deep down, I wish I had your confidence.

-Call me white trash- but I love me a buffet. My hubby makes fun of me because I feel right at home at a roadside Ponderosa, Country Cookin', and I get excited if I see a Western Sizzlin'. But let's get something clear. You do not have to eat every.single.thing on the buffet like it's going out of style. In my mama's words- There are starving children in Africa. Portions, people, portions.

-Soda. I'm a self professed addict- but I'm really starting to think there should be an extra tax on this stuff. It's like liquid crack and equivalent to putting battery acid in your body. It doesn't help that Coca-Cola sponsors half the attractions at Disney, but I guarantee ya that there are two Cokes sold for every one Dansani water bottle. And being the caffeine lover that I am, it's still off limits for my children (unless I'm having a moment and just can't deal, Daddy's not looking, and I let them sneak a sip). But really, does your four year old need his own 20 oz. soda? Sad, really sad.

-This could be an entire blog post in itself... but it's kind of like golf- Some people in life deserve a few extra strokes. They need a handicap and it is there for a reason. I wholeheartedly believe that those that truly are in need should be able to use the fast pass/handicap line. Have at it. But this does not and should not apply to heavyset people on motorized scooters that are too lazy to walk the park. Really!?! And when I see with my own two eyes a mother have her son fake a sprained ankle while visiting the first aid center (yes, we were there because my daughter's fingers were smushed when we opened the stroller- not one of our finer moments, I might add), and then immediately say to the nurse (who told the lady there is nothing wrong with her son's foot), "Well, where can I get a "pass" since we have this wheelchair,"... There are problems in this world. Sorry to sound ugly, but when I heard them plotting, I was much meaner, so you should have heard me then.

I better stop before I need blood pressure medicine. And maybe this really should have been a wake-up call for me. I lost three pounds while on vacation... Granted it was because we stuck to our meal plan... but it made me think- How much snacking am I doing at home!?! Think about it.

And for those of you planning a trip. Here's a challenge. Try to plan your trip around the memories you want your family to make... not around the meal times and all you can eat bread baskets. Make it magical not mouthwatering.:)

The Ride...

2011-03-11T12:12:00.001-08:00

Bikes. I love them. I'm not quite sure what it is about riding one that makes me so happy, but they do. Growing up, my friends and I had quite the obsession with bike riding. I remember one time, Ashley and I set off on a bike ride only to run into three "Ashburn boys." What was supposed to be a twenty minute bike ride turned into three hours of us totally trying to flirt and having the time of our lives because we actually had males not shooing us away. It was glorious... until we heard Ashley's family riding around the hood with their windows down calling for us like we were lost puppies. We could tell they were one step away from sending out the search parties, so Ashley- knowing we were in deep doo-doo did what every coniving middle-schooler would do. She yanked the bike chains off and smeared grease on my forehead. We walked to the street, met up with her parents, and she proceeded to rant about how "those stupid, cheap bikes broke yet again, and we were stranded having to push them." It worked- They bought it, we were off the hook, and she and her brother wound up with new bikes later that month.

For the past few years, on spring and summer nights, I'm that mom that puts my daughter in her bike seat on the back of my bike (that Big Daddy Mike found while dumpster diving- SCORE!), and makes my son cruise around the neighborhood riding bikes. There's nothing I love more... And today, I was thinking about how that kind of weather is almost here and the saying "It's just like riding a bike," popped into my head.

Wouldn't it be nice if things in life were "just like riding a bike?" Ya know- how people say- once you learn to ride, it will always come back to ya? There are certain things if life where that is the case... like knowing my multiplication facts- To this day I can rattle them off and 9 times 9 is automatically Art Monk #81 in my head. Or drawing a cube on paper- I have not one artistic bone in my body, but I sure can draw a 3-d cube because apparently, that was the cool thing to do back in the day... or making a chinese fortune teller- I can still fold a sheet of paper and the kids get a kick out of finally opening up the last triangle and hearing "You're stinky." Ha! But let me tell ya- fitness and eating healthy for me- are NOT like riding a bike.

Today- two weeks after running a half marathon, I hopped back on a treadmill... and didn't even make it four miles before throwing in the towel. This week has been a complete and total loss...

For me, I think the saying right now is more like: "Once ya fall off, make sure ya get right back on."... Here's hoping to a better week- one where I enjoy the ride.:)

13.1... Check!

2011-03-06T18:49:00.000-08:00

Lookie here my dear friends- You are staring at the picture of health and fitness. Ha! Well, I won't go that far, but you ARE staring at two half marathoners!!!

We did it! And I'm living to write about it! What started out as a far fetched declaration on facebook... Lucy and Ethel (as we are often referred to- that or Thelma and Louise) decided that after people doubted our athleticism and determination that we would run 13.1 miles! After months of training, blisters, chafing, pep talks, and everything in between, we- along with our families traveled to Orlando, Florida to run the Disney Princess Half Marathon... and run it we did!

After starting in the second to last corral... because our hubbies signed us up and had high hopes that we would finish in less that 3 and a half hours, I crossed the finish line in 2 hours and 22 minutes... Placing #3205 out of more than 16,000 runners. Ummm... and if you can't tell- I would fo' sure say this is a "first timers" marathon because there were many women that looked like me- just trying to accomplish the goal of finishing.

I will say that I had hoped to run a little faster- and not to pat myself on the back too much, but I'm sure I could have shaved a good 10+ minutes off of my time... We were stuck in a pack for most of the race and at times it was impossible to pass people- My last three miles were almost two minutes per mile faster than my first three! Account for that... and the fact that I had to stray off course to pop a squat in the woods for a potty break (because I'm classy like that)- only to find that there were other crazies and I had to wait for a clear spot behind the brush resulting in another 5 minute pit stop, and I guarantee we would have been around 2:10...

Ashley and I ran the entire race together... right up until the 10 mile water stop- where we lost each other in the sea of people. After genuinely looking for her for about two minutes, I decided that she must have gone ahead of me... and I took off thinking- that bitch is NOT going to beat me... When in all reality, she must have been looking for me a little longer and not having those thoughts... and came in just behind me.:) Oops.

Crossing the finish line was one of the most amazing moments ever- It has been so long since I accomplished something that I had to work at that was for me and about me.

Many people warned me that after running the half that I would have an itch to complete a full... Not one ounce of me felt that way! I'm good with a half... and admire those that run full’s even more. But I do want to run more halves, and I've set a personal goal to finish one in under 2 hours in this lifetime. And now I know... Anything is possible- if only you believe in yourself.:) I'll be back to pounding the pavement tomorrow morning- because after a week in Disney World, I believe.:)

What's on your bucket list? Anyone want to join me in training for a mini-triathlon?

CWLG: Here We Go... And an I Am Offer!

2011-02-23T19:10:00.000-08:00

Everything seems to have initials these days... OBX, GTL, FML... so we're just going to start referring to I Am's group of awesomeness as CWLG. That sounds so much better than "Community Weight Loss Group", don't ya think? After several cancellations, we finally got the group started, and I can't wait to see where it takes us!

Over 20 women met to share our trials and tribulations about weight struggles last week... and I think I only cried twice. For me, this can be a very emotional subject! I'm thankful to be able to share my path to excellence (Hey- I'm feeling motivated at the moment, OK?) with a great group of women. I'd love to let ya in on what we chatted about... but you know what they say- "What happens at weight loss group, stays at weight loss group!".

Thankfully, we had the support of local businesses to lure people to join us. We had Robek's gift cards to giveaway and I Am Modern provided an entire bag of giveaways- everything from books to an organic skin care set. We weighed in, were led by Natasha Grotke of NG Fitness, and did what every overweight person loves to do... ate food.:)

Thanks to Elizabeth Marcotte, owner of several area Let's Dish stores, we were able to curb our appetite. Not only were we able to eat deliciousness, but we were able to do it while watching our calories since Let's Dish meals include Weight Watchers Points and nutritional values. For example, we could have a full serving of shrimp and cous cous for under 200 calories:

I'm not sure if the others were thinking what I was thinking, but for that little bit of calories, I was considering taking the entire tray...:)

Elizabeth also went above and beyond and treated us to giveaways, information on preparing meals in hectic times, and what I loved most... more food.

Look at this... This huge platter is only one $25 meal from Let's Dish displayed over a bag of lettuce. I know where I'm headed when I have to take something to a party... People might be impressed when I don't show up with burnt jello. You can burn jello. Trust me. Fact!

The beauty of this CWLG experiment is how I Am Modern is able to pull together community resources to offer a free support group. Our next event will be a drop in weigh-in on March 9th from 6:30-7:30 at Ashburn's Let's Dish. You must be officially weighed to compete for the Biggest Loser Prize package. We are an open group, so come join us!

And until then, if you'd like to have fresh, healthy meals, visit www.letsdish.com and enter promotion code "Modern" to receive $20 off of any 8 or 12-dish session. Includes In-store (dish it yourself), Dish-n-Dash (Let's Dish! staff dishes for you and you pick it up) or Dish Delivery (It gets shipped via FedEx right to your door!)

Fast Forward

2011-02-10T20:29:00.000-08:00

"Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast-you also miss the sense of where you are going and why." Eddie Cantor

I love DVR. It could be one of the best inventions in the world- right up there with the light bulb and a flat iron. There is nothing better than sitting down at the end of the night, diet coke in hand, being able to watch my shows in peace. Divine, I say, divine.

But tonight, when I was watching Grey's, I started thinking... Sometimes my life is on fast forward way too much. I caught myself fast forwarding through every commercial and getting anxious to get to the ending- and quite truthfully to the previews of next week's show so that I could ponder what will happen all week. And it hit me- I was thinking about how much time was left the entire show, thinking about speeding through it, how I wanted to finish the episode before bed, that I didn't even really enjoy it.

It's kind of like my life some days. I think to myself, "How can I kill this day?" As in... How can I really tire my children out so bedtime will be easy? What activity can I do to pass the time to just make it through? When in reality, I should just be cherishing my moments in time.

We all do it. We think about making it to Friday before our Monday even begins. My son can't wait to make it to the next level on his Wii and doesn't enjoy beating the one he's on. And I'm already envisioning my daughter's wedding and she's just three.

For instance, today, I might have been worn out. So much, that yes, I "played sick" so my hubby would have mercy on me and take my son to Tae Kwon Do and pull book fair duty. In my defense, I made sure to have dinner on the table and the dryer running when he pulled in the driveway (so he'd think I was working the whole time), but really, I was just wondering what the kids were doing and what I was missing. I rushed through the bedtime routine so that I could sit back and enjoy my shows, and now that they are over, I realize that my favorite parts of the day are the ones I tried to fast forward.

No, my favorite part wasn't being alone chillin' with the remote, but it was when I was painting with my daughter and bedtime with my son. Yes, I said bedtime. My six year old decided to throw a tantrum at bedtime (he never does this). I was at my wits end, but he was asking for me to lay with him... and it won me over. How often does this happen? But at the time, all I could think about was strangling him- err I mean Grey's.

This is kind of where I'm at right now. I hate being overweight. But losing two pounds bites. Yes, it's something. Its progress, and I know it takes baby steps... But do you know how long it seems like it will take to get to my goal weight? Why can't I just fast forward to being where I want to be?

Tomorrow, I'm going to think about this during my day. Perhaps, I might realize that it's all these moments in between that count. Like how I feel after a good treadmill workout, how I feel when I'm snuggling reading books with my kids, and how nice it is to have an adult conversation with my hubby. It's really not about "getting" to bedtime and relaxing. Really, it's not.

Community: Weight Loss Support Group

2011-02-07T06:44:00.000-08:00

I'm not a very political person. I usually have my yard sign out, vote for my party, and sometimes even volunteer at the polling site... but when I do I take pray that no one asks me a question because I'm usually completely uninformed. Hmmm, maybe I should work on that. So, when I decided to start this weight loss support group, I had it in my head that it was sort of a Grassroots movement- and honestly, I didn't really even know what that meant until I just googled it to make sure I was using the right term:

"A grassroots movement (often referenced in the context of a political movement) is one driven by the politics of a community. The term implies that the creation of the movement and the group supporting it are natural and spontaneous, highlighting the differences between this and a movement that is orchestrated by traditional power structures. Grassroots movements are often at the local level, as many volunteers in the community give their time to support the local party, which can lead to helping the national party."

It even went on to say that Grassroots movements organize and lobby through different procedures including: hosting house meetings or parties, mobilizing letter-writing, phone-calling, and emailing campaigns, and using online social networks to organize virtual communities. I'd say I actually had it right.

I Am Modern has allowed to me take this idea and run with it, and I have received tremendous support. It's amazing what the power of print and press allows someone to do. I'm learning more and more that despite what we might often think, there are great people in this world that offer support without even thinking twice.

Someone recently asked me why I was doing this group, and what I would was getting out of it? Sometimes, I wonder that myself because between the weather, schedule conflicts, and hassle of it all- I question what I'm getting myself into... But the answer is quite simple. I've joined every Weight Watchers meeting in this County- literally. I've done anything and everything to lose weight, and I'm stuck in a rut. Not to get all sappy and emotional, but if this group helps me lose as little as five pounds, I've succeeded. There is not a day that goes by that my weight doesn't bother me, and for those of you that have never experienced weight struggles, it can actually be painful, frustrating, and stressful. I can't wait to meet other ladies in my situation and gain support. I can't wait to meet other ladies that are in my situation and cheer for them. And I can't wait to see where this takes us.

Within the last two weeks, I have been able to round up a "Biggest Loser" prize package from local donors... I'll share more at the first meeting, but I'd like to give a shout out to:

Hair Port Salon and Day Spa
Avie Med Spa
Misguided Angels and
Cavalheri Photography.

And for the record, I will be in on this competition... Let this movement begin!

Due to scheduling issues, the kick-off meeting will be held February 17th, 2011 at 7:30pm. It’s not too late to join in!

Blog Party: B.Y.O.C

2011-02-02T19:45:00.000-08:00

I know you've all heard of B.Y.O.B... Well, today, we're getting this party started a little differently. You know we all have some in us, so let's get to it ladies and B.Y.O.C... Bring Your Own Crazy!

Don't you worry though, I'll start. I'm full of little idiosyncrasies that make me me- Those little habits that your hubby puts up with and makes you know that he truly loves you. Like how I have to wake up with the time ending in the number 3. Or, 6 or 9- because they're multiples of 3. Three is my lucky number and that's going to make for a good day? Right? And did you know that I LOVE combing my grandfather's hair with his little black comb. He loves it because it is calming, and I love it because I secretly scrub the dandruff out of his scalp and receive joy from it. Yep, that's right, I like getting dandruff out of my grandfather's head. There, I said it. (And I also think this is why God knew not to give my kids cradle cap.) My family says it looks like we're monkeys when I'm doing it, but it's my special thing I've always done with my Pappy- so they can suck it. Oh, and when I worked in group homes, all my bebe kids knew that Tuesday was hygiene day with Ms. Shelley. I would actually look forward to whipping out my Q-tips and cleaning their ears. Sometimes it was the hi-light of my day. Crazy, I tell ya, crazy... either that or maybe I have a clean ear fetish.

So, what brought me to this topic? Well, ya see, I've pretty much been sucking at this whole weight loss ordeal lately. Yep, only I can manage to train for a half marathon and not lose a pound. Ugh! I have since constructed what I refer to as my weight loss shrine. My hubby politely asked if I was going to take it down so no one would see it during the weight loss group. It was then that I wondered if I'm weird... or crazy. This is just normal to me:

I'll try anything if I think it will help me get on track- documenting my weight every day, waking up to a positive quote, and even having pictures for motivation. I thought I had all the bases covered. I had to post a picture of Girl Next Door Kendra because I was so happy to see her turn into a chunk when she was preggo. I thought she'd never get her figure back and I was secretly loving it, but ole' girl proved me wrong. And then, Jessica Simpson made my wall because who doesn't want to cheer for a ditz- and man, does she not prove what a difference some l b's make on someone? And last but not least, I need a little Lily in my life. My goal for this spring is to lose weight and pick out a cute dress to wear to our cousin's wedding. Why do I say a Lily Pulitzer dress??? Well, because I really think I've worn a go-to, solid black dress to every wedding I've been to in let's say the last five years. I need some color in my life- a little party dress.:)

There you have it... just a little of my crazy. What's yours? Do ya pick your nose at a stoplight? Is your nickname for your hubby poopstain? As in, "Hey skidmark, come get some of this bay-bay." Share... I do think I'm begging for comments today. You can even be anonymous. And I promise, if we ever meet, I won't pull out the Q-tips.:)

I'm a 10!!!

2011-01-25T19:41:00.001-08:00

Like mother like son. Sometimes, I wonder where he gets it from... and then there are times that I can't deny that my son is my child through and through...

Selective hearing. I guess my son isn't the only one that has it. Lately, it's been apparent that I suffer from it too:

"Admit it, Eric (my younger brother), Ashley and I can still liven up a bar."

"Yeah, you really did... in an awkward sort of way."

I took that as a big, fat yes.:)

Or at three in the morning when we were recounting the night's shenanigans, my BFF recalled that her hot, single, ex-boyfriend told her that he was sick of the bar scene, wanted to finally settle down, and wished he could find a "Mini Ashley."... We let her live in the moment and didn't point out that the key word might have been mini. Selective hearing at it's best.:)

With my half-marathon slowly approaching, I decided to make my mama proud and at least play the part. I grew up hearing, "You can always tell a woman by her shoes." Often, it was immediately followed by a lecture about how I needed to go through my closet and chuck my four inch wedge clodhopper college shoes because they looked trashy, but I won't go there at the moment. Santa (a.k.a. Mom and Dad) spoiled me with a gift certificate to Potomac River Running. I guess they took the hints that my $34.99 Kohl's blue light special running shoes weren't cutting it any more- and I was super excited to get some new kicks to at least make it appear that I'm a runner.

I made sure I had shaved (at least up to the knee) and took an afternoon without the kids to see what this whole PRR was all about. I had heard from many people that I "had" to go there for new shoes. Well, my peeps don't fail me, and I'm happy to report my trip was worth it. Not only was I fitted, but I was given a complete video gait analysis and learned that there is way more "science" that goes into selecting a shoe than when I was growing up- Although I will tell you that just hearing the words "Air Pegasus" brings back happy memories. I even learned things like I am lucky enough to pronate the ideal amount and require a neutral shoe, Fancy, eh?

PRR was well worth it, and the shoes didn't cost an arm and a leg like I was afraid of. As I was snooping around the store, I also noticed that they offer tons of services like free evening running groups. I asked about the Leesburg night run, but the helpful salesman politely told me that this group was still somewhat small and I might want to try the Ashburn store's group because they have runners of all levels. Hmmmm. :)

The best part of the experience came when the young, in shape man, told me I was a ten. I can still hear the sound of those sweet words... and that's when my hearing stopped. Please, just let me bask in my glory. And don't remind me that my size nine feet must have grown along with the rest of my body since I'm now sporting size 10 Asics.

Calling All Fatties...

2011-01-20T18:28:00.000-08:00

128 days until pools open for the summer. I know. I counted. What's that mean ladies? Well, if we start now, there's hope that we can feel good this summer and enjoy ourselves at the pool instead of worrying about which roll of flab is falling out of our tankinis. If we don't start, it'll be another year down the drain, another year of, "Next summer is my year." And I don't want that.

With high hopes of group motivation, accountability, and dare I say positivity (although feel free to moan and bitch as much as you'd like- it'll make me feel better), Ann and I are starting I Am's very own weight loss support group and would love you to join us... the more the merrier.

Who: Anyone with weight issues- whether you have 2-100 pounds to lose, you are welcome! Skinny girls (doesn't that sound youthful?) that aren't happy with your body- we would love to include you and I won't make comments behind your back, I promise. Someone hold me to that. We know that all women have issues and we'd like to hear them! Moms- need a night out and some time with other women, this is your calling. I've been there.:) Need an excuse of where you've been- We're your cover. I might even hold onto your shopping bags so you can sneak the evidence into your house when the hubby is not home. Oops, did I just say that? Not that I've ever pulled the, "Oh hubby, I've had this shirt for years hiding in my closet line." No, never.

What: We can't promise to give you a magic potion, pill, or even program to follow, but we can offer a private weigh-in, healthy eats, and a super informative guest speaker. Not to mention, great company that hopefully turns into a support system for all of us. This week we are thrilled to announce that Let's Dish will be on hand to let us sample one of their new "Under 400 calorie" meals that make it super easy to eat healthy and Robeks will be offering up a treat as well! Also, Natasha Grotke, of N.G. Fitness Consulting www.ngfitness.org, will be sharing tips and advice. She is one of those super fit, positive, enthusiastic, empowering women that truly has a passion to help people achieve their goals. Plus, she can back her info up since she is a certified Fitness Trainer and a certified Fitness Nutritionist by the International Sports Sciences Association (ISSA). Oh- and don't hate her. Maybe she is always enthusiastic because she practices what she preaches (or because she's fit to a tee). I think she has a stair machine at my gym with her name on it.

Where: 21027 Courtland Village Drive
Leesburg, VA 20175
*I will warn you. I prefer to call this the best neighborhood in the world that is a little off the beaten path. You, on the other hand, might refer to it at as B.F.E. Mapquest it... I promise it's not too far (and we might find a more central location for future meetings). Oh- And my best friend is very worried about my information being on the net. The way I see it, anyone could have my address with the click of 411.com. But to make her happy, I'll put out a disclaimer... Please no bombers, serial killers, or angry fat chicks with a gun bother coming. My bouncer will have to turn you away. Sorry.

When: Thursday, February 17th at 7:30pm

Why: Why not... What do you have to lose? Hopefully some weight.:)

Best of all, this night out is totally Free!!!

Please comment or shoot an e-mail to hokie30sgirl@aol.com if you'd like to join us!

Oh, and while I often have diarrhea of the mouth on this blog, I don't speak in public. I'm leaving that up to Ann. I will probably be nervous as all get out... and if you see hives start to form, that's when you start to worry. Or offer me a shot of vodka.:)

She's Down Five!!!

2011-01-19T06:45:00.001-08:00

O.k... time to get my act together- Looks like this is a competition!!!

FROM THE INSIDE OUT:
Ann Neri Gause

Ok, so let's get started on what you really want to know. How are we going to do this? How are we going to lose the weight?? First and most importantly, you need to start from within. This was the the mistake I made the first time around in weight loss. I had a goal - my wedding - and my eye was on the prize. I was not really looking at it as a LIFE change, but more of a "I want to look awesome in a dress" kind of change. The moment that stressful situations began creeping back up in my life, so did the scale. Now, looking back on it, I thought a starting weight of 147 was terrible. When I got to 125, I knew it was the number that was healthy for my body. Now at 180 (yes this is more than what was originally posted but we are going to go by my weekly weigh in's with my trainer and that includes shoes and clothing), I would do just about anything to see a glimpse of the 140's.

As women, I think we unconsciously put ourselves last without even thinking, especially when we become moms. We want the best for our children and the the best for our partners and we believe that if we do it all we are doing our best. But whatever it takes, do it! You need it and so does your family. I can honestly say that the moment I started carving "me" time out to get to the gym, I instantly felt happier. And you know what....in just one week I have lost 5 pounds. That's right, 5 big ones. So, the scale now says 175 and you know what, it's only going to go down. Its a promise to you and most importantly to me. Did I like saying "no" to the candy, snacks, pie's doughnuts, chicken wings, nachos and everything else under the sun this past weekend at our family ski weekend? Heck no!! But, I stuck with what I know would be healthy and I came back home knowing the scale did not go up and felt proud of myself when I could report back to my trainer about my self-discipline. Most of all, I am not beating myself up for poor choices. Ahhhhh.

My personal trainer said to me the other day, "treat yourself the way you would treat one of your family or friends that came to you with this same issue about weight". WOW. She is so right. Why do we treat other people better than we treat ourselves? That has to stop. We have to start treating ourselves with the respect that we give others, because no one else can truly benefit from all the good we have to give them if we don't.

So I challenge you to think of the things that are important to YOU. Not you as a mom, you as a wife, you as a friend, you as a family member, as the coach, the PTA volunteer, etc. etc. What makes you happy? Are you doing those things for you. If not, figure out how you can do them. Schedule a bubble bath for yourself where you can close the door, light the candles and be alone with your own thoughts. Whatever it is....DO IT! Your mind and body will thank you.

Doin' It All For the Sticker...

2011-01-17T09:00:00.000-08:00

"Doin' It All for the Sticker" has been my motto for the past two months. I'd say it's one step up from the song, "Doin' It All for the Nookie." I'll admit, it was quite shallow in the beginning. Ya know, almost a "Keep up with the Jones" kind of thing where you plaster stickers on your car to brag to people about what you've done or where you've traveled. But over the past few months, that has all changed.

For years, I've admired the 26.2, 13.1, Runner Girl, and Swim-Bike-Run stickers on stranger's cars. I've drooled over them sitting in the carpool line, and I've daydreamed about being "that" girl at stoplights. Running a half marathon has always been on my bucket list- I've even signed up for the Rock-n-Roll half and the Army Ten-Miler only to throw money away because my feet never struck the pavement for training runs. Instead, after visions of what could be, my car would veer into the nearest drive thru, or I'd dart home to get an afternoon power nap and prop my feet up.... Until now.

I'm a big talker. I am a "yes" person, and I'm always full of crazy ideas. I often overschedule myself, have too much on my plate, and then end up being a flake. But that's just who I am. I'm a dreamer.:) During girl's weekend, my best friend and I were messing around on facebook... admittedly probably trying to stir up some action being that it was our last night together and we were bored with our computers. We both posted, "Disney Princess Half Marathon?"... And let's just say that most people laughed at the thought of Lucy and Ethel doing a race. Even we did. We were being sarcastic, and we knew it... until it hit us- "Screw all those non-believers, We can do this!" (Although if I was a betting woman, I would have bet against us at the time- but trust me, my lesson was learned when I lost $200 which was equivalent to $10,000 when you are a college student to a bookie at Tech.)

From the very beginning my motivation to run 13.1 was weight loss. I thought to myself, if I bust my butt running, I will fo' sure lose this weight. Wrong. Sadly, the scale hasn't moved, but my heart has. I've increased my endurance, been amazed by friendships, and learned to love a sport that I pretty much suck at. My friend Danielle has stayed on the treadmill after her workouts to motivate me to finish mine (and Bitch has lost seven pounds and looks a-maz-ing), long lost friends have posted words of encouragement to me, and my college roomie even spent her Saturday afternoon encouraging me every step of the way through a ten mile run.

So, yes, I'm doing it all for the sticker. This whole running thing is a challenge, and it's hard for me. I'm learning to love running. And when I cross the finish line, I know that all my blood, sweat, and tears will have been worth it. Because not only have I set out on a goal and accomplished it, I've finally followed through with a dream and have become proud of myself. This isn't pride from something that my kids or my husband have accomplished, it's about something I have done. And that sticker will be a reminder every day- and even more importantly, the 13.1 will be slapped on my car for me, and not for anyone else.:)

Buddy Check

2011-01-13T21:00:00.000-08:00

As women, it's so easy to take care of others and put ourselves on the back burner. So, this is just a short and simple public service announcement to remind you to schedule that yearly- Yes, I know it's uncomfortable and the thought of "baring down" in someone’s face can give you the heebie jeebies, but at least you can groom yourself to the nines and surprise the hubby, get that mammogram, or have that mole checked out! It's so important. Trust me- ya never know what you will find...

For instance... with training for a marathon, you'd think that I'm in pretty good shape... Or not.

-I was informed I have high blood pressure. Yes, I had it during both pregnancies, but I thought it was a thing of the past. Now I'm just praying it was white coat syndrome as I monitor it over the next month before reporting back to my doctor.

-Ya know that pee problem I have? Well, it's much, much better. I'm no longer the pisser... just the drizzler. I'm not the flood, but more like "a river runs through it,"... and after being scoped out and finding out that yes, all my innards are still perched where they should be, maybe I just need to work on some kegals.... Or treat that unnoticed bladder infection that my doctor tested for. Who knew? And yes mom, I wipe front to back, but thanks for asking.

-My weight was much higher than on my home scale. I think I'll stick to weighing naked before I drink or eat anything for the most accurate results. I should have shed my shoes so the nurse didn't notice I weigh almost what I weighed nine months pregnant.

-One can learn something new every time. Like whoa- I don't do breast exams quite like that. I guess I should be a bit more thorough.

-And yes, I'm getting older. Even my OB suggested I might wanna get on it if I want another baby. Or at least that she would if she was in my shoes.

And if nothing else, it can be quite nice reading a ladies’ magazine in peace and quiet in the waiting room. Its one appointment where they can run late and I won't get all up in arms. What a break... and I could look at the new birth announcements all day and be quite content.

Now if you haven't done it... Go make that appointment. Those stirrups are a callin'!

Losing weight is a Cinch!

2011-01-09T08:44:00.000-08:00

Cinch. It's a catchy little word, isn't it? I wish losing weight was a cinch... or that I could cinch my waist in a few inches... But it's not, and I can't- Unless I follow the new diet and wealth of information put out in this newly released book, Cinch, by Cynthia Sass- who just happens to be the coauthor of the bestseller the Flat Belly Diet.

Cinch, available in stores now, promises to help you conquer cravings, drop pounds, and lose inches. It also gets you all psyched up that you are going to have a bunch of "Yes" moments by following this plan- You know, like being able to zip up your skinny jeans without having to lie down on the bed and suck it all in. And eventhough the book calls for a mandatory daily dark-chocolate escape- Yes, as in having chocolate every day; this diet still seems far from being a cinch to me.

This book even states that you can lose up to seven pounds in the first five days!!! But, read more into it, and yes, you can- but that's if you want to be a bitch on wheels- and only eat five foods...spinach, raspberries, almonds, organic eggs, and nonfat plain organic yogurt. I bet I could author a diet where you could lose seven pounds, too- Let's see- for the next five days, only eat lettuce, flaxseed, organic apples, and water. I betcha it will work- easy, peasy, in a cinch.:)

"Stop counting, and start living," is a common theme throughout this book... and maybe I'm just negative because I don't see how I could personally live by this diet. However, eventhough I might not be signing up, I still think this book is a good read and worth the money... Without being dry and boring, it manages to be informative and actually explain to the reader why certain things are right and wrong. It actually explains the science about why I shouldn't fill my body with Diet Coke instead of just saying that it's off limits like most books do. It also touches on topics such as emotional eating, fat genes, and organic foods... For example, Sass writes that frozen foods can be just as healthy as fresh foods- if not healthier at times! She then explains how all frozen foods should be labeled Grade A, B, or C and you want to choose Grade A packages because they offer the pick of the crop. She also stresses eating locally... so when I checked my frozen broccoli in my freezer from Wegmans... It made me wonder- I'm not so sure how I feel about this...

Yes, if you can't tell- it clearly says, "Product of Guatemala." Nice.

Sass is quick to point out an alarming statistic that has stayed with me:

"According to a Johns Hopkins study, by the year 2015, 75 percent of adults in the United States will be overweight, and 41 percent will qualify as obese. By comparison, in 1996, 34 percent of U.S. adults were overweight and 17 percent were obese. The plain truth is, we've been programmed to eat when food is available to use food as a tool to cope with our emotional needs. It is easy to live a lifestyle where you overeat, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year."

That's scary... and even frightening. And makes me think twice about everything I have read in this resourceful book. Now, if we could all have Sass's willpower, life would be a cinch.:)

If you'd like to learn more about healthy eating, I'm giving away my copy of this book. Not because it's not good and I didn't enjoy it, but because I hope you can learn and use the information just as I plan to do- even if you don't follow the exact plan. If nothing else, its fun to find all the mistakes in this book since I received the uncorrected proof before it hit stores... Things like this are fun to find:

And keeping with the theme of the book, this contest is a cinch... Just be the first to comment on my blog on iammodern.com when it is posted and this book is yours!:)

*Blog made possible by the One2OneNetwork. I was given the book, but all thoughts are my own.:)

Show ya what we're workin' with...

2011-01-08T17:57:00.000-08:00

It happens to the best of us. Ugh. A picture is worth 1,000 words... Remember my before picture?

Disgusting. That's from a little over a year ago... and I'm almost that bad. The only difference is that now I don't go around making a face like I smelled a fart and I'm not going to get down right now... This week I managed to run for eight straight miles- and lived to write about it!:) I'm on my way...

Ann is a brave and lovely soul. I refused to post my before pictures until I had an after... But then again, she's not standing in a sports bra and workout shorts.:) But with her permission we are kicking off this new year and journey together... Right now!

I decided that you will not be able to appreciate how much I have lost if you do not know where I am starting from. So, as I hold my breath, I am posting these pictures. Its more motivation then I care to have, but it's going to feel so good to get the body back that is MINE! ~Ann

Pre-Baby:

Day of Delivery:

Now:

Wednesday Weigh-In's Start this week... Feel free to join in! And Ann- Squeeze that sweet little baby- He was worth every bit of extra weight- Can you say precious!?!

Introducing: Body After Baby!

2011-01-06T19:21:00.000-08:00

Continuing with the New Year, New You theme, I thought it would be great to spice it up a little bit. I'm adding a new author to the mix and I couldn't be happier. I will also be carrying her blog here on The Knockout Mama until she takes my advice and starts her own personal blog because she is a fabulous writer- at that point, these posts will be hi-jacked.:)

Don't worry- you'll be able to tell the difference between our columns. I'm the foul-mouthed, in desperate need of a dye job, stay-at-home mommy that still has extra weight from my children... and my youngest is going on four. Ann, the newbie, writes professionally, is insightful, and is a younger, cute blonde that has an excuse to still have extra weight since she hasn't even hit the end of her maternity leave. Oh- and she'll also be sharing the many challenges a new mom encounters- everything from breastfeeding to heading back to the work force.

Readers- We are in it to win it... and I hope you enjoy following along these next few months. And Ann- I'm challenging you right now- First one to say hello to our 150's (as in 159.9) gets a pedicure from the loser- and I don't mean the biggest Loser.:)

Please join me in welcoming Ann:

I always said that I would never blog but when given this chance to write for I AM MODERN MAGAZINE, I just could not pass up an amazing opportunity to keep me accountable. So, here it goes! I am a 30 year old woman who has a history of yo- yo dieting and on top of that I recently had my first baby. I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy on October 26th and it was quite evident my life was changed forever. But even though I have gained an amazing addition to my life, I also gained 60 pounds. Let's be honest, ladies. Pregnancy is hard and so is everything about what we have to go through in order to get that baby out! It also continues well after you give birth if you choose to breastfeed and then trying to tackle the weight loss. It would be really easy to keep "eating for two" but it's time to get to work.

It seems that I never had the right "balance" over the years. My Dad would talk to me about balance in all aspects of life until he was blue in the face, but I am only now seeing what his wise words have meant. Like many people, I am a victim of emotional eating and to say I have had an emotionally challenging last couple of years is an understatement. I could blame it on people or situations, but in reality it is my own fault for gaining the weight back that I had taken off three years ago before my wedding. Instead of dealing with situations and people in my life that caused conflict, I turned to food - which ended up being there for me long after the issues were resolved. And by that I mean "being there" on the hips, butt, thighs....you get the idea! I was not at the exact weight that I wanted to be when I got pregnant and when I weighed in for the last time at the doctor's office before giving birth, I was 204. Yes, 204. I am 5'3. This was not OK. I have lost 34 pounds but I am currently at 171 and well, that's just not acceptable either.
It does not matter how the weight came on - I am no longer beating myself up for the poor nutritional choices that I made over the past year. What IS important is that I make a change. Not only for this beautiful baby boy that I have been blessed with, but for my husband, for my family, for my friends and most importantly for myself.

So, today I am tackling this weight loss and I hope that you will join me. I hope to inspire all those moms that lost themselves along the way and to show you that anything is possible with hard work and determination. I can promise you this - I won't let you (or me) down and I challenge you to do this with me. Beginning this Saturday morning, I will be working with my trainer twice a week and working out on my own at least 3 other days. I hope to share with you some information about nutrition and fitness that I know (and continue to learn) through my personal trainer that can help you as well. Let's do this. We have nothing to lose but weight!

Be All You Can Be: Lisa Sanders

2011-01-01T17:56:00.000-08:00

Some women just have it. It just seeps out of their bones and you can't help but notice it... straight up sex appeal. And then there are women like me that are more like the girl next door. I attempt a sexual face and it's almost comical. I shake my derrière and instead of making the crowd go wild, it draws a giggle.

You know a woman has that X factor when you catch yourself looking at her Facebook photos. Trust me, you'd look too if Lisa Sanders was your friend. And as a woman, I hate to say it, but you might even check out her rack and admire her glutes. Not gonna lie here, I do...

Don't worry- Lisa is so much more than just eye candy- and when I decided to write my New Year's Resolutions, I immediately thought of her. Luckily, she was game to let me do this and even took the time to talk with me. I honestly feel like I am on a mission to meet my goals. This year, I want to become more like Lisa instead of just stalking her from afar. Are you ready for my resolutions?...

*Don't Judge a book by its cover. This year, I plan to stop judging so much. Living in this area, it's easy to assume things about other women... and I must admit I'm horrible about this. I will also say it usually stems from jealousy- so when a woman like Lisa steals the show just by entering the room, I'd love to cover my hubby's eyes and talk trash about her. But really- is that fair? Or is that being a God-loving woman? I think not. Take Lisa for example. She's fit, gorgeous, and beautiful, but she's also full of smarts and there isn't a mean bone in her body. Not only that, but she's served her country in both the Army and the Air Force, been stationed overseas, is an ex police officer, and currently manages a huge account for Verizon. She's not just a pretty face...

*Age is nothing but a number.

42. Let me spell that out to you. Forty-two years old. As in over the hill, past her prime, old. Yes, pick your jaw up off the floor. I'm putting an end to calling my self damaged goods! This is just the beginning. No more fretting over my age- I'm a baby and there is hope for me yet!:) The best is yet to come!

*Focus on my nutrition.

Duh! That's been my problem my whole life. I can work out for hours each day, but until I learn to change my eating habits, I can forget looking like Lisa. Lisa is a firm believer that nutrition is the key part of weight loss and that “You are what you eat”. Damn. She even went as far as saying that 80% comes down to nutrition (quantity and timing) and the other 20% is weight training, cardio, and sleep. Double damn. I must make a change or I'm a goner. And in case you're wondering what someone like Lisa eats- Here is her daily eating regimen and extra tidbits- Inquiring minds want to know, right?...
1/2 cup oatmeal (plain) or Ezeikel bread
6 egg whites

1 apple with natural peanut butter

6 oz grilled chicken
1 small sweet potato

2 plain rice cakes with almond butter

8 oz fish with asparagus/spinach or broccoli

1 cup cottage cheese or some plain non fat Greek Yogurt with a few unsalted almonds

After workout 2 scoops of protein with a banana
Before workout 1 scoop of chocolate protein powder mixed with coffee for energy

I bring food with me on every trip in a small cooler (hard boiled eggs, rice cakes with almond butter, 6oz chicken breasts with 1 small cooked sweet potato in zip lock bags) I have containers of protein powder already measured out with 1/2 cup oatmeal so I need to do is add hot water and eat.
If I am gone for a whole week I will go to the local Whole Foods or grocery store and get food for the week.

When home I make enough food for several days and already have them measured out in small containers so when I am in a hurry I can just reach in the fridge and heat up a meal.

*Set challenges and keep it interesting.

Whether she's skydiving for charity, attending fitness shows, or being the spokeswoman and attending gun shows for Kangaroo Carry, Lisa doesn't let life become boring. This is the year of the challenge... I see a half marathon, the Warrior Run, and a triathlon in my near future. Nothing is stopping me but myself!

*Spice it up.

My poor hubby. I have an entire drawer full of nighties and pretty panties, but they haven't seen the light of day for years. I've been known to try a negligee from my bridal shower on and when I do, I find that what used to be knee length is now a stomach bearing shirt. And when I put on the matching thong, I cry because it gets lost in my crack and I don't know if I'll ever get it back. My hubby has learned that this sends me into a tizzy and he's much more likely to get lucky if I just stay in the flannels and don't get depressed. I owe it to him to bring my sexy back.:)

*Workout.
It's plain and simple. One doesn't look like this by eating bon-bons and watching reruns of 16 and pregnant. Lisa travels 80% of the year and spends a lot of time in hotels and airports. When asked how she fits it all in, she replied, "I don't have time to work out, I make time." I guess that's why she looks the way she does, and why I look the way I do!

*Know that it is possible.

Above all, Lisa is a proud mom to three children...(one is grown). She's been in my shoes- gaining thirty pounds with each pregnancy- and fighting to get the weight off. I CAN do this- and you can too!

Don't fret. I am my own person, and I don't really want to "be Lisa." But I would like to be like her in more ways than one. She is the epitome of a modern woman and she's in the position she's in because she has made it happen. If nothing else, I hope to one day be able to motivate others like she has motivated me. I plan to live this year like the words to her favorite quote:

Laugh when you can, apologize when you should. Don’t hold on to what you can’t change. Kiss slowly, play hard, forgive not forget, take chances. Be happy life is too short for anything else.

Here's to a fabulous 2011!!!

Ain't too proud to beg, 4 all:)

2010-12-22T17:16:00.000-08:00

Baby needs some shoes. NOT... But, mama most definitely needs some new duds. There's nothing like putting yourself out there and "applying for a job" in public... But since I'm not one to hold back or let an awesome opportunity pass me by- here goes...:)

4all- a tennis, golf and fitness apparel company that specializes in creating high quality performance attire designed by women athletes for women athletes is currently holding tryouts for 10 spots on the Team 4all roster. As a member of Team 4all, you’ll receive the latest 4all news and products, as well as have access to exclusive 4all opportunities. Hello... Pick me! Pick me!

If you need a few good reasons why, let me give it my best shot:

Meet me:

I'm a thirty-something stay at home mommy blogger. I would love my readers to believe that I spend my days all dolled up, but in reality, I more often than not look like this. Well, maybe not that bad, but you get the drift. Yes, Clinton and Stacey should be knocking on my door to rescue me. Or 4all.:) I know, the mommy hair knot needs to go, and so does the shirt with crusty food in the top corner. It's not cute.

Paying It Forward:

Move over Fireproof and Love Dare. Although both improved my marriage, an opportunity like this could quite possibly be better than marriage counseling. These are the three most important people in my life. The only thing the hubz and I "have discussions" about is money. Free workout clothing would free him up some moo-lah, making both my hubby's and my day... and we all know that the saying is true, "Happy wife, Happy life.":) Plus, since I've never made a cent from blogging, freebies make it easier to justify nights sitting in front of my computer.:)

Proof.

If you need it, here's proof that the workout clothing and gear you wear really does matter. I'm sparing you the pictures of my chafed inner thighs and armpit that has been rubbed raw by my brother's extra-large hand me down t-shirt. I'd love to say this is a scar from a boob job, but it's not. It just goes to show ya that a cotton bra from Wally World isn't going to cut it when training for a half marathon. Bring on the 4all clothing.:)

Fashion.

I know a lot about it. Just kidding. In my defense we were playing "Fancy Nancy." And doesn't the cuteness of this get me brownie points? I would also like to point out that 4all stresses that athletic women come in all shapes and sizes. I also love the fact that they have the cutest clingy workout wear that would only look great if I lose the rolls- that's just another reason to shed some pounds!

Target Audience.

Not only does my personal blog have some of the best readers in the world, but it is also carried on iammodern.com- which in my opinion is one of the best websites ever and targets your core audience. It doesn't get much better than the women of the Washington D.C. metro area... or the moms at my bus stop, preschool pick-up, grocery store...:)

Inspiration.

Doesn't every girl ask for golf clubs for her high school graduation? I did. But if you look at them now, you can tell they haven't seen the light of day for years. Make that decades- way back when I spent my summers working on the greens. Ya never know what a cute outfit will make you do. I could very well see 18 holes in my near future. A little argyle goes a long way.:)

So, that's my spiel. That and the fact that 2011 is my year. I made it to this last March...

And while I'm the first to admit my body doesn't bare any resemblance to that picture at the moment, this is my year. I'm busting my butt training for my first half marathon, making working out a daily to-do, and trying to eat to live, not live to eat.

2011: New Year, New You will kick off January 1st, and some new faces will be joining the journey. If you are interested in being one of them, you too can throw yourself under the bus and blog with me- Please contact me at hokie30sgirl@aol.com. Look for announcements to come about a free weight loss group meeting the second week in January!!!

Until then, I'm unplugging the computer and checking out for a few days to spend a wonderful holiday with my family. Thank you so much for reading- Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! I'll be back next year!

Sweaty Bands... and an ANNOUNCEMENT:)

2010-12-21T19:00:00.000-08:00

I sweat. There's no good way to sugarcoat it. I don't perspire. I don't glisten. And I don't finish a workout without the need for a long, hot shower. In fact, I usually stink... as in hold your nose, P.U., body odor stink.

Combine my sweatiness with the fact that the strands of hair that aren't quite bangs and aren't quite the length of my hair act as my security blanket. Ya see, I like to have pieces of hair framing my face. They make me feel thinner, and while everyone tells me they look like tendrils that go along with an 80's prom do and that I should have ditched them a long time ago, I still dig them. But when I run, they are annoying with a capital A...

Enter Sweaty Bands. This week, I received two of the cutest hair bands I've ever seen courtesy of Sweaty Bands. Not only do they really not slip during a long run, but they also are exactly what they claim to be: "Sweaty Bands are the ultimate sports and fitness headband, uniquely designed for women and girls who want to show their style, even when they sweat a while!" These hair accessories keep my hair in place, hold back my locks, and look super cute!

As if I needed convincing that they are great... The company actually was started by a lady that sold her homemade head bands out of her gym bag when she was a fitness instructor. Talk about a product that evolved! Made right here in the U.S.A., they also come in any pattern you can imagine and even look cute when you aren't working out... They come in thick and thin sizes and here I am in my thick pink and brown print band:

.

Yeah, just ignore my hand in the back of my head. I really need a bump-it and I guess this was me trying to give some extra oopmh to my hair.:) Be sure to check out all the styles and details at www.sweatybands.com.

Oh- and you can also see their ads in US Weekly... I just had to throw that in there because I heart US Weekly... Please keep the coverage up on Teen Mom. Thanks.

I will definitely be ordering more sweaty bands. I'm pining over the 13.1 one and the glitter ones. I guess I need them now that it's official... Disney World, here I come. Our trip is booked and this mama will be running her first half marathon! So from now until March, if you see me in workout clothes, please keep your distance... because ladies, chances are I will be sweaty and stink.:)

Less Is More

2010-12-17T08:14:00.000-08:00

Less is more.

I'm not doing it this year. I spent hours searching etsy for the perfect Christmas decorations. That's hours of my life gone. Precious moments that could have been memories, and instead, I sat on my butt drooling over other women's craftiness. If I had my way, my son would have a tree in his room, my daughter would have a pink one in hers, and we'd have a few more scattered around the house. I'm quite OK with a home that looks like it threw up Christmas... in a Williamsburgy kind of way... But all of that costs money, and so this year, those things will have to wait. I've decided that that's not what Christmas is all about, and after wasting gobs of money on fresh greens that I hung way too early that are now driving me crazy by shedding over my entire house- Seriously- how do those pine needles make it to my master bath?... I've come to the conclusion that my family isn't going to have a better holiday if there are ten trees compared to one. And sometimes... Less is more.

Don't think for a second that I don't LOVE my house, because I do. But now that I'm in a house that I want to call home, I know that it's just that... a house. A house is a house and at the end of the day, the only thing that matters is how you make it a home. And don't think that a day doesn't go by that it doesn't cross my mind to pack up and head thirty minutes to Winchester or over the mountain- or down to the Carolina's. It does. I mean with the difference in mortgage we could go back to the days of a huge monthly vacay and not have to wear layers to keep the dreaded propane man from filling our money-eating tank. Heck, I wouldn't even have a house to clean because I could afford cleaners. Yes, sometimes, Less is more.

I'm not going to pig out this month. I know that my mouth will be watering over every sugar cookie, piece of fudge, and Danish wedding cookie that I lay my eyes on, but I also know that it will make me feel bad and regret the whole day if I indulge like in year's past. Bring on the celery stick (and maybe fill in with cream cheese... Shhhh)... because sometimes, Less is more.

This year, I'm not going to stress and I'm going to try my best to remember the reason for the season. My children clearly don't need to sit on five different Santa's (or Ho Ho's as we call him) laps, and if I don't participate in every gift exchange we're invited to, we'll be OK. I'm not going to worry about family pictures or having the perfect coordinating Christmas pajamas for the kids to wear as they open up their morning presents. And if she's lucky, I might not even stick a bow in my daughter’s hair the moment she rolls out of bed so it looks perfect. I was so excited to get our "Elf on the Shelf" (which my children lovingly named "Nickey Toothy"- don't be jealous, I mean doesn't everyone need a Nickey Toothy?), but I'm not having him deliver presents and goodies each morning as I had planned. And the kids don't miss it at all... because the little magical, devilish elf makes their morning all by himself... proving that Less is more.

I know that less is more. Especially today. I have a little spring in my step and a grin as I write this:

Previous weight: 170.4
Today: 168.3

OK, OK, I know it's not much, and it's probably only one loaded baked potato away from what I was... but I'll take it. The scale finally budged. And guess what bitches, I did the happy dance... because Less is more. :)

Reason To Believe

2010-12-12T13:47:00.000-08:00

Things happen for reasons. Recently I had the opportunity to interview Tori Nelson for an upcoming issue of I Am Modern magazine, and this lady is contagious. Her attitude, faith, work ethic, and outlook on life are inspiring... and quite frankly, she has given me reason to believe this holiday season.

Suburbia. That's me in a nutshell. I'm a sahm (stay at home mom for those of you that don't know) that spends my days chauffeuring my children from activity to activity and acting as the large and in charge CEO of my household. I have it easy, yet I still find the time to complain day in and day out. You know- I'm tired because I had to get up to take my daughter to preschool. I can't find the time to workout because my hubby is out of town, or he's in the doghouse because he didn't deposit enough "I Love You" money in my checking account. And when I look at my actions, I realize at times they are pathetic. And completely shallow at times.

Enter Tori. I'll save her story for the article... but talk about a woman full of grace. She's a mother, a role model, and one hell of a fighter. And nothing has been given to this woman. It's all been earned. Trust me, I know.

On Saturday night, armed with my posse of my parents Big Daddy Mike and Judy Booty, and my hubby Brendonian, we traveled to Pikesville, Maryland to attend "Season's Beatings." Yes, you read that right. It was a professional boxing card promoted by a man by the name of Jake the Snake. To say I was a little out of my suburban element is an understatement. We entered into an armory full of boxing fans to cheer on Tori in the main event.

Not knowing what to expect, I was nervous. We bought the cheap seats and after seeing a few ring girls’ in barely there outfits, I was a little worried as to what we had gotten ourselves into. But can I just say- There is a whole world out there beyond my life of swim practice and preschool. And it was nothing short of... how I should put it... Exhilarating. Welcoming. And Addictive.

The night began with two of the biggest mo fo's I've ever seen in a heavyweight bout. All I know is that I thought the big man would win, but ole' green shorts held his own. Next was Devin Butcher winning unaimously over Stephen Franklin. If you ask me, Franklin threw the best punches and the ref scored a slip as a knock down. We nicknamed Butcher "show boat" and decided that the boy better get his hands up in his next fight... but he was nice to look at. We also watched Maurice "Freight Train" Byarm capture the East Coast championship over Winston Thorpe of Columbia, SC. In my opinion, the fight was called too early... but then again, "Freight Train" has quite the following and reminds me of someone we'll see on TV in a pay per view one day, so I'm glad he won... Maybe I'll be able to say I saw him way back when...

One of the most exciting fights of the night came when Middleweight Scott "Cujo" Sigmon defeated "Vicious" Julius Kennedy by a 10-round unanimous decision. Cujo hails from Bedford County so I was a fan from the get-go since my in-laws reside in the neighboring Franklin County. He entered the ring reminiscent of Hacksaw Jim Duggan with his entourage livening up his crowd that traveled strong from Southern Virginia. Cujo kept it interesting and must have thrown no less than 300 jabs. I kept cheering and yelling for him to keep his jab going until my hubby reminded me I have no clue what I was talking about. It then got a little scary for a hot second when fighting broke out between fans and the fight was put on hold. There was an all out momentary loss of control where my tail started sweating and I began looking for the nearest exit door in case of a riot... Five security guards eventually drug out a blonde that was kicking and screaming- Five bucks says the phone videos will make you tube within a week. After a powerful will and showing by Kennedy, Cujo came out on top and modeled his new belt in front of the crowd who I'm sure will be celebrating with moonshine all week long. He ended things that could have turned ugly with a message of positivity filled with well deserved pride in his moment of glory.

After six hard fought bouts, many began to leave. Perhaps they had to rush to the afterparty being held at a local club... but shame on them. They missed the best match of the night.

My stomach had butterflies as Tori made her entrance with her manager and two cornermen to the tune of Mary, Mary, the God in Me. It was then that the house was brought down by the hometown favorite and her team of at least ten people deep- Number one ranked Shelley Seivert made her way to the ring.

Although I must admit, I loved hearing "Shelley, Go Shelley" being screamed by the fans since that's my name, my cheers didn't waiver from Tori. Shelley is a girl with presence. No one can take that away from that woman. But Tori is a scrapper. She has the bible verse taped to her steering wheel, "Pain is certain." And she explained to me that she knows she'll go through pain, but that's the only way to victory. Shelley was able to take Tori's breath at times, but was never able to take the wind out of her sails. After six rounds, Tori unanimously won, becoming the new #1 ranked middleweight female in the U.S.

A picture is worth 1,000 words. And this was taken as Tori was escorted away from the match to be released by a doctor:

Simply Victorious. Who knew that a fight night could change my life? My friend, Tori Nelson. She's humbly contagious... and I now know that there is a fighter within all of us and we all need a good fight in our lives.:)

Guest Post: Saban is Sexy

2010-12-05T18:23:00.000-08:00

Suzanne Vann. It kind of has a ring to it, doesn't it? In our dream world, that's our pen name. We, being my best friend, Ash, and I. It's actually both of our middle names... Our dream is to one day live at the beach for a summer and spend our days writing a novel. For some reason, I think that is years away considering we'd have four kids throwing sand within two minutes if we ignored them at this point in our lives. But one day, when we're old and gray, it will happen.

Ashley is a southern gal to a tee. And I'm just a flake with a dirty mind, so I would like to believe our book could be quite a read. Think Scarlett meets Rhett in the modern world with a twist of V.C. Andrews soft porn. *Parents- Don't applaud your children for reading just any chapter book. To this day, I don't think our mamas really knew what good ole' V.C. was teaching us.

One day, Ash and I got to talking about how when we were younger, we often wondered if when we aged, if we would think old men were sexy. Back in the day, we'd look at older men and think they were disgusting. Well, the answer is yes. Can I get an AMEN for sexy older men? It also set us on a rampage about how much easier older men have it than us middle-aged women... which led to the following guest post by Ashley Vann. Enjoy!

An interesting thing happened today as I was walking along the Quad at the University of Alabama before the football game. There were the usual signs that it was a game day in T-Town, you know school was closed for the day, people had been tailgating since dawn, the RV's had been on campus for days, Herbie and the ESPN Game Day crew were here- just the normal things down here in the Great State of Alabama. As we met up with my precious niece, Kristen, and some of her sorority sisters to take them to dinner, I couldn't get over the fact that here were these beautiful 18 and 19 year old girls dressed so stylish (Yes, we wear dresses to football games! It is just one of those things we Southerners do. It's like sweet tea and saying yes ma'am.) and yet they ALL had on a sticker that said SABAN IS SEXY. Now for those of you who don't follow college football or who have never had the privilege of keeping up with SEC Football, Saban is Nick Saban, the Head Coach. One would think that he was the quarterback or maybe the star running back that these cute young things were promoting as sexy but No. It is the 50-something Head Coach. This really got me thinking- Have I ever seen a sticker, sign, poster or anything promoting a 50-something woman as sexy??? I can't think of one. How is it that men get better with age? Is this one of the repercussions for Eve's sin in the Garden of Eden???? Is it like the curse, something we must endure and if so, how is that even close to fair?

We all know that men can get away with oh so much more than women can. Salt and pepper hair on a man- it can be pretty hot! I'd do George Clooney any day. On a woman, we would probably talk about her behind her back and ask when she was going to get her roots done. Facial hair... it works for men. I will be the first to admit I love me some scruff but ummm... not so much on the ladies. A man can have himself a beer belly but if you pair it with a great job and a halfway decent personality, he is suddenly someone you might want to take home to meet your Mama! I think it is pretty safe to say that the same is not true for a woman. Is this a double standard? Well sure it is, but for some reason I just don't think that it is going to change any time soon. Granted there are by far more "cougars" out there now then there once were but I think the trophy wife still reigns supreme. I just can't think of a single cougar that I personally know but I do know a few trophy wives and while they are as sweet as they can be, I have wondered about the "first" wife. You know the one that put him through medical school, and then there was the residency all the while raising the kids and running a household with pretty much no help. While accomplishing all of this, she was becoming damaged goods, as my dear friend's husband told me when I was 8 months pregnant with my first child, Bless his heart he just didn't know that you don't say that to a pregnant lady! I think that these women are the ones that deserve a trophy!

While I think that it is safe to say that Jamie Lee Curtis, Barbara Walters, Sigourney Weaver and Jessica Lange probably aren't going to be on my husband's radar for his cougar, I can honestly say that I don't come close to having Bieber Fever. Nor do I find any young twenty somethings making me jones. But if you change that and put Pierce Brosnan, Bruce Willis, Tim McGraw and a favorite of mine since I was 17, Sean Connery, I would touch up my lips and serve up homemade grits in nothing but an apron any day.:)

And since I've had this realization today, I think I'll hit the gym, wax my chin, make my hair appointment, and do a few kegals. Because those youngin's at the ball game aren't the only ones that find Saban Sexy.

My Bubchie

2010-12-01T20:01:00.000-08:00

Thirty. He would have been the big 3-0 today. And I've felt guilty about it all afternoon. First of all, I wouldn't have remembered that today was his birthday. Fail. I'm horrible with birthdays, but not a year goes by that I don't remember the date of the crash, or the day he passed. It's crazy how in life we always remember the bad stuff. And all day long, I have dodged the subject with my B-F-F- probably because after 15 years it's still too raw for us to talk about- either that or I'm way too emotional and she hides her feelings all too well and it just makes for one big hot mess.

Thirty years ago, Greg Crittenden, Jr., was born a healthy, bouncing baby boy. For fifteen years he touched so many people- and I was lucky to be one of them. He was Bubchie, and I was Shellchie, and we had our own language full of chie's. Greg just happened to be my best friend's brother- and over the years was like a brother to me. He would yell at me for taking the last serving of Fruity Pebbles, he'd lip-sync into hairbrushes to Tiffany's "I think we're alone now", we'd have competitions shooting the basketball out of the second story windows aiming at the basketball hoop, I'd have to referee he and his sister Amy during board games, and I can see it like it was yesterday- when he was asked to take out the trash, he'd make a girlie face and sing , "If you ask me to..." by Celine Dion. He loved his gold chain, the Braves, his buddy Anthony, his beloved starter jacket, and thought many times that he could outsmart us by taping down the button on a walkie talkie and sticking it under his sister's bed to "spy" on us. And these are just some of the memories I carry with me.

I'm sure there would be hundreds more if Greg was still here with us today. But on a cold December night, he went out with a group of guys including my brother- and a horrible car accident happened. And after a few roller coaster days, Greg went to heaven to walk the streets of gold and to be with the Lord.

Today has been just another example of how Greg touches people. Sure, you can say the cliché things like he taught many to wear your seatbelt, become an organ donor, and to tell your loved ones that you love them. But today, he's taught me to remember the good in life. To celebrate. And that the song is true- there are those that will remain, "Forever Young."

Happy Birthday Greg.

It's a long one...

2010-11-28T17:41:00.000-08:00

Déjà Vu. The older I get its happening more and more... Seventeen years ago, I woke up on Thanksgiving morning and joined the other kids from my youth group to work the first Annual Ashburn Farm 10k Run. Back then, the money didn't go to the Humble place in Uganda, but it went to the youth of the church... In other words, our broke a$$ fifteen member strong youth group. Times were different then- We'd meet and pile into a youth leader's 4-runner and go "four wheeling" through the construction sites of Ashburn Farms. We would have car washes and do cartwheels down Route 7 to get people to stop- as in busy Route 7. We would have lock-ins where the cops were called because we were pillow-fighting outside at three in the morning. We turned my parent's barn into a haunted house to raise money. That was the night I was introduced to my best friend Ashley by the pastor's wife. I saw Ash as the obnoxious, loud, new southern girl in my social studies class. Who knew that after a night where my head was stuck through a cardboard box and she was the witch that took the pot off my head saying, "Look what's for dinner" that we'd be besties for life... But that's what youth group did. It brought a group of kids together to make lifelong memories. It was a place where people from all different cliques could come together as one. I can honestly say that I didn't learn much scripture... and to this day I love reading bible stories to my children because I'm learning the stories along with my kids... But youth group taught me more than anything. Now granted, 90% of the time I might have been there for all the wrong reasons... or so that I could go on the annual ski trip- and truth be told, I probably only showed up early in the morning to hang out with the boys instead of truly volunteering… but looking back, youth group gave me lifelong friendships. And to this day I even look up to some of my old counselors. And that Thanksgiving morning (along with countless other youth group memories) was a morning I'll always remember.

In 1996, I was a freshman at Virginia Tech. I managed to gain the dreaded "freshman 15" in the first two months, and my mom was brutally on my case about it. I really think my mom bribed me with money to run the Thanksgiving Day 10K with my dad hoping it would help us both lose weight. My mom still has the picture of my Dad and me crossing the finish line in her house. I will always remember that day because it became much more than my mom’s effort to inspire me to lose weight. After years of me being a holy terror to my dad, after going away to college, we both realized how much we loved each other. Sometimes, absence really does make the heart grow fonder. We ran the race together and crossed the finish line holding hands, and without saying a word, we knew we loved each other and for the first time in years we felt a sense of peace. It had been years since I had been in a room with him without rolling my eyes or snapping back with an obnoxious comment- and achieving a goal together put us back on track the the relationship we have today. I'm sure after the race, I fed my face as usual and probably looked at my mom as I piled butter on my roll in a snide way, but for that very moment during the 10k, it was a Thanksgiving morning I'll always remember.

As a college senior, I mentored a young girl that was in foster care. I must have moved her from foster home to foster home at least four times in six months. But I loved this little girl. She was a teen and reminded me so much of myself. At my wedding, I had asked her to help cut the cake... and when it came time for her duty, she wasn't around... She was off in the field doing who knows what with our wild teenage neighbor. I really don't even want to know. As you can tell, I was a great mentor.:) I kept in touch with her, and challenged her to train for a run on Thanksgiving morning. I promised her that I would come back and run it with her. She held up her end of the deal, and we ran the two mile fun run. She was sooo proud of herself. And I was too. And that was a Thanksgiving morning that I'll always remember.

Fast forward to this week. I had registered for the Ashburn Farm 5k. I started training for it about four weeks ago, and I must say- I was so excited for it to come. For once, I had actually worked for it. I did my outdoor runs and put in hours on the stinkin' treadmill. And let me tell ya how humbling it is to go from an athlete to someone that really has to work to just finish three miles. It sucks. But it's oh so true. When you work for something, the end result is that much better. I broke thirty minutes and came in 9/35 for my age group. I was still slow as molasses (Yes, I occasionally speak country. I say "pull your britches up, turn off the spicket, and if you asked me what we were having for dinner today, I might have replied "hog's ass and hominy" just as my Nanny once did.), but I ran. I ran the entire race without a break. In fact, at the end, I saw a boy I went to high school with... and I busted my butt to pass him- and I didn't even care that he could see that I had wet my pants. I met up with a blog friend and we went to the race together, and it was so much fun. The scale might not have moved much this week, but I met a goal- and worked hard for it. I was proud of myself and felt pride that this wasn’t another race that I signed up for and then didn’t run. It wasn’t something I talked about doing, I did it. And at the end of the day, it was a morning I'll always remember.

Déjà vu. Or shall I say Thanksgiving morning tradition. I know where I’ll be on Thanksgiving morning next year.:)

Mickey Motivation: Sue Sullivan

2010-11-22T20:13:00.000-08:00

We went to school with a group of guys that were notoriously known as the "Brew Crew." Little did they know that in our own little world, we had a crew of our own... the "Sue Crew." We spent many a night sleeping over at Susie Q's house having old fashioned pajama parties complete with s'mores and games of truth or dare. Eventhough we've lost touch over the years, to this day, she's one of those friends where ever so often we come back in touch and it's like we never skipped a beat- We just have one of those lifelong friendships.

Yes, I might sound crazy, but I agree with some of the research revolving around Facebook these days. Studies have shown how women over the age of 30 are flocking to the social network... and I admit, I caved and joined. It's true, I'm nosey, and sometimes it irks me reading other people's statuses... especially when I see them looking great, traveling for the umpteenth time, or just bragging about their wonderful life. I know that I should be happy, but depending on my mood, sometimes it can make me feel inadequate. And then, there are days it can make my heart fill with joy, make me proud of the people I'm surrounded by, and even inspire me. And Sue has done just that.

Once overweight and out of shape, this girl has done a 360 and looks better than ever. And whether she knows it or not, her Facebook statuses make me log off and head to the gym. I asked her to write a blurb about her transformation... and here it is. I left everything in Sue's words because just like Sue as a person- whether she's fat, skinny, young, or old, I'd never change a thing.
I have played sports my entire life. Weight was never a problem for me...up until eighth grade. Everyone has a story. Here is mine.

My family moved during the end of seventh grade, and I guess my way of coping with the stress of entering eighth grade in a new city where the kids already knew each other, was to eat. I remember snacking on loaves of bread or making my own cheese nachos as a "snack" mid day. I spent most of that year in a fog, trying to adjust to new friends and a new environment, not remembering a lot... but I do remember barely being able to run the mile in gym class. I dreaded that day and would do anything to have my Mom write me a note to skip school those two days out of the school year. That was a low point for me. I remember the summer going into my freshman year of high school thinking that if I didn't get my weight under control that I was not going to enjoy those four years. That's when my mom first introduced me to the wonderful program of Weight Watchers.

I remember dropping six pounds the first week just from giving up soda alone. I dropped most of my weight after my freshman year where I continued to spend my four years playing softball and volleyball and overall enjoying high school. I was never ideal in my mind though, and I was never that girl that had all the boyfriends. I had all the boy "friends", but that was it. I never took care of myself in high school, or college for that matter, the way I take care of myself today.

Four years of high school went fast, and college came quickly where I continued to eat (and drink) to deal with the stress of everyday life. I quit playing softball in college so I was nowhere near as active as I was in high school. I still was not in control of my life and not really sure of who I was yet. It was not until I graduated from college and dealt with the up "25 pounds, down 25 pounds" battle that I finally decided to get my life under control. I attribute my weight loss to many things- but number one would be Weight Watchers. I am now a Lifetime member of Weight Watchers and I have kept the 50 pounds that I lost off for nearly seven years now because I decided to do one simple thing: EXERCISE. Everyone can say what they want- Fad diets, diet pills, exercise equipment you see on infomercials at 2 a.m....They do not work. The only way you will ever get control of your weight and your life is by exercising and watching what you eat. Sounds simple right? Not always- but it can be if you choose for it to be.

I was never a runner. By 2003 I had my weight under control and for some reason I decided to run a 5k on Thanksgiving morning. Since then, I have never looked back. I have completed countless 5k (3.1 miles), 10k (6.2 miles) and 15k (9.3 miles) races as well as 1/2 marathons (13.1 miles) and this past year completed my first marathon; Yes, that's 26.2 miles! This past year I started taking Les Mills Body Pump classes at my local gym two to three times a week and I have never seen such a difference in the toning of my muscles than I do now. It was what I needed to give me that extra push to get over the plateau on the scale that I could not reach from simply running alone. Strength training is just as important as cardio training. This is the most energy I have felt in years and I only wish I had done this ten years ago. However, it is never too late. We can never look back, only forward.

I have set many goals for myself. First goal was to lose the weight- Check! My next goal was to get a job at the Happiest Place on Earth, Walt Disney World- Check! When I turned 30, I wanted to run a Marathon- Check! My next goal is to run the New York City Marathon in 2011 and maybe, just maybe, one day, qualify for the Boston Marathon. I would also love to be able to somehow help and inspire everyone that wants to change their life just like I changed mine by possibly becoming a Weight Watchers leader or even teaching some group fitness classes at the gym. There have been many people that have helped me along the way. I had the support of family and friends that got me through the days I wanted to quit and go back to a former lifestyle or when I wanted to say the training was too hard and to stop running. Weight battles are a vicious cycle. I have gained and lost the weight countless times in my life but for the first time I feel like I truly will never go back to the way I was back in college or what I call my "fat pictures." I have always had my family and friends as my cheerleaders when I cross that finish line for every race I have run and if I didn't have them in my everyday life I would not be where I am today. My love for running has truly become a family affair. My father started running himself. He has been down to Florida to run a 10k with me and he even trained in 2009 to run the Walt Disney World 1/2 Marathon and he did! He completed his first 1/2 marathon ever this past January.

I am in a place I have never been in my life, and I know there is a lot more ahead of me. My weight is something I still battle everyday. When you go through a transformation physically like I did you sometimes feel yourself looking in the mirror and seeing that former self. You have to continue to talk to yourself positively and just know you will have those days where you "fall off the wagon." You only get one life and one body, so take care of it. Push yourself to limits you never thought you could imagine.
I find it ironic that my former photos of myself were taken on vacation in the summer of 2000 at Walt Disney World. I never would have imagined that ten years later I'd not only be working there, but that I would be running marathons on that very same concrete that I stood on while that photo was taken.

Time Is On My Side...

2010-11-21T03:20:00.001-08:00

Don't let the tennis court or Lex fool ya. Sure, I grew up in a beautiful house with our own tennis court, my mom drove whatever car she wanted, and I didn't want for much. But in all reality, my family is blue collar to the core. My Dad is a newspaper distributor- which means on any given day, one of us was chucking papers for a down route, going door to door trying to get people to take the daily paper free, or collecting bad pay. Big Daddy Mike works harder than anyone I know, and he always instilled in us a strong worth ethic. He always taught us that you have to work to get what you want- it's not given to you. While I was lucky to have my college paid for, there wasn't a summer that I lounged around. I remember one summer I was a camp counselor by day, a waitress at night, and the golf course extraordinaire on the weekends- doing anything from flipping burgers in the snack bar to running the range and washing carts. So, with Christmas soon approaching and many "wants" on my lists (like this new running group w/ Melinda), how did I spend the past two nights? Yep, you've got it... by waking up in the middle of the night to deliver papers. Thanks Dad.:)

This wasn't just any paper route. It was actually inside at a local retirement center. My mom and I sorted our papers, loaded up our cart, and served the hot off the press papers to nearly 300 customers... all the while trying to dodge taking the free candy that many had outside of their door. And at the end of the day, as usual, something hit home.

Day in and day out, I complain that I don't have "time" for myself. It's always my son needs to go here, or my daughter needs to be there... and I let myself get lost in the shuffle. I have to "make" time to workout, prepare healthy food, and even just to have a second to think. While this was one of the nicest retirement homes I've ever seen, I'm in no rush to be in it. It advertises "worry-free" living, and I guess it somewhat is. These residents have every day to do as they please. They can take the low-impact aerobics class, lounge at the piano bar, paint in the arts and craft room, play $1,000 super bingo, or even confess their sins on Thursdays in the dining hall to Father Wynan. (I found this quite hilarious and even pictured myself downing a hot buttered roll as I repented over my food diary.) The residents have meals prepared for them and eat on fine china accompanied with fresh linens. And the men must be in heaven because for every man there must be five widowed ladies. On one hall, good ole' Glenn could have his pick...

The whole experience made me realize that I'm thankful for the chaos in my life. I'm thankful that I look forward to a lunch out with my mom where I'm actually served and waited on. I'm thankful for the craziness of my life. I'm thankful for my loud house full of screaming kids and snotty noses. I'm thankful. As the song goes... "These are the days to hold onto... because they will not last forever." The halls were way too quiet for me, and I know that my day will come to have "me" time.

And with the week of Thanksgiving approaching, I'm thankful my hubby has a job and I'm able to have a life where my biggest complaint is not being able to make it to the gym because it doesn't have day care or that I'm carrying around a few extra pounds. Eventhough he won't be with us during our feast because work duty calls, I'm thankful. Because like many, if something were to happen to his job, we'd be a stone's throw from losing everything. Life would change in an instant, and I would be right back to being the worker bee- waiting tables and delivering newspapers. And quite frankly, my bed is calling my name.

The Situation...

2010-11-18T19:38:00.000-08:00

Here we go Yo
Here we go Yo
So what so what so what's the scenario?

Oh my, oh my. My husband is the most uber conservative, tea party lovin', anally retentive, never do anything wrong man I know. I say that in the most lovingly way. He is the yin to my yang- and I know in my heart that I needed someone like him to balance me out. Even so, sometimes it's the littlest things that make you fall for someone. Back in the day at college, when I found out that my quiet little ballplayer of a boyfriend could bust out any lyric to his rap c.d.'s, he made me fall in love all over again. He could turn yo-boy in the most angelic of ways and rap every word to any House of Pain, Tribe Called Quest, or Snoop Dog song. I know I'm totally digressing and trying to get around posting the inevitable. I guess I should just get to the horrid details...

170.4 this morning. As in pounds. Fail. Almost as bad as the Skins did on Monday night- but then again, maybe not that bad. I've gotta think positive. Go Skins.:)

But... I'm on it. After going out during girls' weekend, my b-f-f and I realized that if God forbid we were to ever lose our husbands- that with the way we look and the fact that we're not ever willing to be a pin cushion to a man, we would be doomed. There are some hot older women out there. Not all women over 30 have let themselves go to the wayside, and we must reinvent ourselves. Ha!

Drum roll please. We've decided to run the Walt Disney World Princess Half Marathon in February. I did just say run. Considering "running" in our vocabulary usually means, "We're running to the mall because there is a great sale at Nordstrom’s” we’re not quite sure if we are women on a mission or if we are just downright delusional.

This week, I met with Melinda (the marathon runner that I wrote about on a previous blog), who also just happens to be a trainer at my Sport & Health. She went over nutrition and mapped out workout goals for me and I'll have to say that I'm completely pumped. Tonight I even ran 4 miles on the treadmill. And I'm running a 5k Thanksgiving morning. And yes, I have stocked up on body glide. Thanks for asking.

I will also be joining a running group that Melinda is forming in the next week or so. If any of you are interested, please let me know. Not only will we all get training from a pro, but we'll have someone to hold us accountable... which I totally believe helps. And did you know that your children can stay in the Kid's Club even if you leave the premises for an outdoor run if you are working with a trainer. Thank you Jesus. This is an answer to my prayers.

So... the reinvention has started. I wanted to try tennis and Jenny Craig, but Jenny cost too much and even though I wanted to sport the little skirt and a cute racquet, I feel that running is something I can do any time and any where. And right now, I just need a goal and something to work towards for motivation! No excuses. And I promise to start holding myself accountable. Weekly weigh-ins are starting back up... and the countdown is on to 13.1... Space mountain here I come.

And just for old time’s sake:

Pack it up, Pack it down
Let me begin
I came to win...

Jump around.:)

***I just have to clear my conscious. My husband and I joined Sport and Health as a family. We are super happy there... but LA Boxing will always be my heart. When I write about working out at a new facility, I feel like I'm cheating on them. I will always remain loyal to LAB. They are amazing and I miss it so much. I crave it. And in all honesty, I'm afraid to go back. Everyone there believed in me and I'm embarrassed to walk back in since I gained my weight. One day turned into one week, and a week turned into a month... and well, this could be a blog post all by itself. Just know that LA Boxing rocks! And it would rock so much more with day care.:)

Pro-Mom

2010-11-15T17:34:00.000-08:00

***I interrupt this blog for one more mommy post. We will then return to the regularly scheduled weight loss blogging. I promise.:)

"Motherhood brings as much joy as ever, but it still brings boredom, exhaustion, and sorrow too. Nothing else ever will make you as happy or as sad, as proud or as tired, for nothing is quite as hard as helping a person develop his own individuality especially while you struggle to keep your own." -- Marguerite Kelly and Elia Parsons

This goes for ALL mothers. After my last blog, I realized I sounded like a know-it-all mother that goes around looking like a worn down housewife all the time. I came across somewhat resentful and bitter. I promise... that's not me. I'm never a know-it-all (at least I hope) and I do manage to look halfway put together at least two out of every five days.

Obviously, I was fired up, and something had struck a nerve. When I became a mother, I had soooo many expectations. I was going to give birth to my baby and then bounce right back to a body better than ever. My baby was going to sleep through the night, be a pro at nursing, never use a pacifier, and be nothing short of an angel.

Of course, to this day, I think my kids are angels, but the fact of the matter is- this here skinny girl that was called Twiggy while growing up has yet to return to pre-baby weight and we're going on four years. I'm officially the fat mom blogger. For the first two months, my son woke up every two hours like clockwork. While he was a pro at nursing, I had to return to work for four weeks to qualify for the house we were building, and during four weeks of 12 hour overnight shifts, despite my best pumping efforts, my milk dried up and my baby was formula fed. My child used a pacifier- or bippy- as we lovingly called it way too long, and that's only the tip of the iceberg.

While I write how I'm a stay-at-home mom that's into attachment parenting- it's true. But I'm not one to stick to rules or expectations. Hellloooo- I quickly shipped my kids off last weekend so I could enjoy girl's weekend! On any given day, I'm a good mom. Sometimes I'm a great mom. But there are days where we watch way too much t.v., I still hold my breath every day at the bus stop because I'm afraid my son is going to go crazy, and my daughter is on month ten of asking for a diaper to poop in. And she's pushing four. But what's a woman to do?

The biggest lesson I've learned about parenting is not to have any expectations, not to pass judgment, and to realize that we're all in this together. Some of the best moms that I know are working moms. My son who took formula was just as healthy as my daughter who never had a bottle in her life. None of us love our children any more or any less. We all have strengths and weaknesses and no one is right or wrong.

Life sometimes just is what it is- and so is motherhood. If you take the time to read my blog, you are probably doing the same thing I'm doing while I write it... Passing the time, having a second to yourself, and trying to be real. And I hope you realize, that's just what I was trying to do.:)

And damn. That right there took a Diet Coke and a Super Pretzel to pen.

Chic New Mom Part 2...

2010-11-08T19:53:00.000-08:00

Watch out. I'm on a rampage. You have been forewarned...

First, let me preface this by letting you know how proud I am to be a part of I am Modern. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be a real-life writer... and out of no where, they gave me an opportunity and I have been able to run with it. If you've just started reading this blog, I am a very shy person, but when I write, I sometimes don't have a filter. I have talked about how it's my other personality that comes out. And luckily, I Am Modern has just gone with the flow and allowed me to write what I want... without censoring even the foulest of things. They are awesome women... and when a recent article stirred up some controversy in the current issue, "Chic New Mom," the "large and in charge ladies" at the magazine took a stance. They backed the writer up. Eventhough they might not agree with the article and may not have supported the author’s viewpoints, they stood behind her. And for that, I give them mad props. It just goes to show how supportive this organization is.

Never in my right mind would I bash another writer. I am a complete newbie and could easily be torn to shreds. In fact, in the current issue, I have an article on "the best spots in the metro DC area to brunch." Looking back, I might not have been the best person to write this since I hardly ever venture out of Loudoun County... But then again, I am the resident weight loss blogger, and I guess by reading my blog, these women can tell I love me some food.:)

I got to thinking... If I had read an article that upset me so in any other publication, I would write to the editor. I could not begin to give fashion advice to new moms- My daughter is 3, and I'm still rockin' the Old Navy mom duds... but let me correct some things and tell ya what I do know...

Oh- and by the way I Am... I'll kiss your butt any day- but you did drop the ball on the picture that went with this article. My girls and I couldn't tell if that was a "Chic New Mom" or a new mom struggling with her new role with a fresh hangover. Or maybe... just maybe you were just as confused by the article as I was and didn't even know where to go with it. Wink. Wink.;)

Here are some of my basic fashion tips for new moms per the article... and how I feel.:)

• Don’t breast feed in public. I am sorry and feel awful saying it, but, to me, it really is unacceptable. I am glad that I don’t see that very often, but when I do it makes me queasy. There is absolutely nothing beautiful or stylish about breast feeding in public.

Oh... Hell Nah. Don't even go there. If you are starving would you not eat? I think not. I must be an over the top horrible person because not only do I nurse in public, but I do it out in the open. Should I put a blanket over your head when you eat? Just sayin'. I agree that it can be done tastefully and it should be. God gave us an ass so we could shit, but we don't go doing it in public. While I don't believe our breasts should be put out on display (some stripper wanna-be moms give breastfeeding a bad name), I do feel that they are there to feed babies and it doesn't have to be done in a closet.

• Take your baby shopping in small-sized boutiques. The best time is early on a weekday morning. There are usually few customers in the store (around lunch is the busiest time), so you will get as much help as you need.

O.k... Let me get right to that. More than likely, most moms have switched to a single income or are out on leave. Let me just pop on into that boutique bright and early after I've been up all night with a baby that doesn't sleep. Chop Chop.

• No need to spend too much money on one item (other than shoes). The reason is obvious: You will lose weight soon, and these larger than your normal sizes are only temporary. Right?

Wrong. Wishful thinking. Why not recommend a lose yoga outfit or jeans with spanx in them. We've just had babies and our bodies might never be the same... But it's all good... and worth it!

• Wear solid, subtle colors or small prints instead of bright colors or big floral prints, which only make you look bigger than you are.

O.k... Do you really have to remind us yet again that we are big?

• Cotton and jersey is better than silk or polyester. They are soft, breath well and are machine washable. Beautiful as they are, babies can be messy.

Oh yes... They are soft and comfy, but they also cling to show every new roll, stretched out belly button, and excess skin that we have now acquired. Give me an empire waist, flowy silk, or heaven forbid polyester shirt to hide my new figure! I might be a walking fashion faux pas, but I'd even sport a mu-mu and pull off a cuter look than a body-hugging clingy outfit.

• Put anything white aside for a while, for practical reasons. Stains on white materials stand out like beacons.

We all know black is slimming... but white isn't so bad. Breast milk and Desitin blend in quite nicely on a white shirt.

• Avoid low V-neck tops, especially when you are nursing.

Or go for it. With milk in my jugs and my newly found larger chest size, I might as well flaunt them before they turn into deflated balloons. I'll treasure low cut v-necks while I can. Plus, it sometimes makes it easier to whip out my boob to disgust people like you.

• No mom-jeans! Mom-jeans are unflattering, poorly fitted jeans having a high waist a few inches above the belly button. Low-rise jeans might be uncomfortable for you now, so it is okay to wear high-waist jeans. No matter where the waist falls on you though, the jeans have to be flattering, fitted, and nicely washed or treated. Boot cut and straight legs are good choices.

Yes, because with a c-section scar to worry about I'm really worrying about the jean I choose. And with all the extra time on my hands, please let me wash, treat, starch, and iron my jeans.

• Diaper bags don’t lie. You think nobody notices your diaper bag? Wrong. You may dress stylishly, but if your diaper bag is encrusted with dirt and stains, all your effort to look good is for naught. You want to find a couple of light weight, fun print, large-sized, machine washable totes and rotate them to match your outfits. I am talking about those real tote bags with shapes. Not the ones you can fold up to save five cents when you buy groceries.

I'm doing good just to get out the door. There is no way in hell I'm going to switch my diaper bag over to match my outfits. It houses everything and the kitchen sink. While I agree that a diaper bag doesn't have to shout Winnie the Pooh... one cute diaper bag will do the trick. Although points to you for mentioning this... I was surprised you knew anything about mothering at all.

I applaud you for writing about the importance of self-esteem in new moms. And for giving us credit for being exhausted. I, for one, lack both sleep and self-confidence. And in reality, you have pointed out that it's about time for me to get my act together and take more pride in my appearance. And maybe if I take your article with a grain of salt it can help me in my personal life, and just maybe that's what I Am Modern was thinking... But on any given day of the week, I am proud to yell out "I am a mom"... and I will proudly sport my mini-van, top-knot hair, stretch marks, and everything in between because I am a mom. And that’s what I do.:)

Ya-Ya Hoo-Rah!

2010-11-08T18:05:00.000-08:00

Motherhood is my biggest and best accomplishment EVER. My children are my heart and soul. They truly are my everthing. And when I say everything, I do mean everything. While I love being a mother, sometimes it encompasses me... and it's almost as if I get to the point of wondering if there is anything more to me as a person. My biggest struggle as a mother has always been letting motherhood define me. A few weeks ago, we all know my girls and I all felt like we were in a rut and called to order a quick girl's weekend.

The last time I wrote, you might have thought I was crazy because I was stressed about what to wear for a night out. O.k... So maybe I was being a little over the top, but to me, it was a big deal. When your "regular" life consists of hot dates to Wally World and playdates at Pump It Up, one begins to wonder if they even know how to act in an adult public place. Or at least I do...

This past weekend, my besties and I gathered for a weekend, and I was brought back to life. We realized we are way more than just mamas. We had a weekend of doing straight up normal things... but without children. We shopped at the mall without having to spend an hour at the play area and having to ride the carousel. Heck, we even had our chins threaded... six bucks goes a long way.:) We ate out without having to entertain anyone... there were no crayons, no crackers, or bathroom trips just as my food arrived. We checked into a hotel and took afternoon naps and showers in peace. And let me tell ya, it was n-i-c-e.

We began a wild night out by stopping by the ABC store. My best friend will tell you that she was carded... but in all reality she chucked her driver's license at the ABC employee. When he commented there was no way she was that old, she took her hand and massaged his... and in that very moment, I realized, we are Cougars.

We primped and got ready for a night out and hit the town. After tons of drinks, we danced and pranced around the bar careful not to do anything to let our spanx show. We ordered men to buy us drinks... and it worked. The next morning, we asked my brother's new girlfriend if she liked going out with us... To which she replied, "Yeah, you guys were so funny." Hmmm.... I'm not sure how we feel about that one. I think we were going for cool, hip, maybe even good times. I'd even take young at heart. But we got funny. It's all good. For the night we were belligerent partiers hanging out with old friends. And it was fun(ny).

The next day, we couldn't hang any more, so we ate out twice and spent the night in our hotel in comfy jammies nursing hangovers. We laid on the beds (all five of us) and played the question game. Before the night was over, after tons of reminiscing, we even had our funerals planned out. Morbid, I know. But at least now, my friends know I want daisies... and they better be in their purple dresses and black hats with netting.

After a morning brunch with our families, antiquing in Lucketts, and eating out yet again, we ended the night in front of the computer making plans to run a Disney Half-Marathon. We'll see how that goes. But in that moment, we felt like we could accomplish anything. In our heads, we were even runners.

All it took was a weekend with my girl's to make me realize that I am me. I'm something besides a mother and I have a life. And I hope that more than anything they realized that I am a friend. I know that they are mine... because Girls weekend was a success.

Tomorrow, now that my liver has detoxed out, I've eaten to my heart's desire, laughed, cried, and done everything in between, I'm ready to return to my favorite role... motherhood. I will be taking care of my kiddos, lacking my put together outfits, babbling about how I need to lose weight, and going crazy trying to keep my kids entertained when it's dark at five at night. But most importantly, I'll be appreciating, cherishing, and loving every second of it.

Mission accomplished.

Help A Sista Out...

2010-11-03T00:56:00.000-07:00

Don't throw stones at me. Please. Because neither my heart nor my feelings can take it at the moment. Working out has been going great, but as usual, my eating sucks... and basically, I've just chalked this week up as a wash. It's girl's weekend and I can't say that I'll be focusing on my weight these next few days. Sorry, but it's true.

For the first time in six years, we've decided that the Ya-Ya's are going out. And with that, comes so many realizations. We're not the spring chickens we used to be, and it's hitting us that we'll be the out of control middle-aged women at the bar that we used to make fun of. Let's just say that our lifelong dream of dancing on a bar top won't be happening this weekend. I just don't see how that could possibly be cute. I can see it now. We could make the headlines... "Women break bar." Ha!

Today was a downer of a day. Last March when I had lost weight, I could try on clothes with a smile. Things actually looked halfway decent. Today, not so much.

My mom and I went shopping... because well... my daily anti-rape clothes of wind pants and sweatshirts just don't scream "going out" to me. So, I was trying to find a cute outfit. Cute, but not too cute... because I'm not wasting money on an outfit I wear out one time and I can't use in my daily routine. But I hit tons of road blocks. Where do I begin???

First off, I don't even know where to shop. The preppy argyle cardigan and cord pants that I had my eye on aren't exactly bar clothes. Jones of New York was filled with business attire and I looked like a fish out of water trying way too hard at Charlotte Russe. Anthropologie is screaming my name, but my wallet isn't hearing it. I just can't get into the whole legging/jegging look. I try to go there, but I feel like I'm a decade and half past that and that all I'm missing is a pair of flat Sam and Libby’s with a bow on the toe. Skinny jeans are cute, but when they are cut so low that my spare tire sits on the top like a shelf, they suddenly lose their cuteness. And my usual go-to flowy shirts might make some question if I'm a pregnant lady drinking at a bar. I'm a big girl. I'm a good six feet tall when I'm in heals... and you know it's a bad shopping trip when you actually ponder to yourself if you should show a camel toe just so people don't wonder about you... You know in a transvestite, Khloe Kardashian, Chyna sort of way.

I definitely should have ordered those cute oversized earrings I've been pining over from the Stella and Dot catalogue. Too bad I don't have time to get them by the weekend. And I'm not even sure those would help... they might draw attention to my double chin. Ugh.

What's a girl to do? After becoming more and more depressed, my mom and I did what we always do. We turned to food. Sbarro pizza and a coke helped for a hot second... and then we realized- that's what got us in this mood. Our addiction to all the wrong foods.

On top of all this, the girls and I don't even know where to go out to anymore. Our old haunts- Broo's and Bungalow's don't even exist. Word on the street is to start out at Clyde's or The Dock... but to watch out because they get a little "weird" as the night goes on. And pardon me, but if I'm stressing out so much about this night, I know that we're going to want to stay out. For once, we have no mouths to feed and no butts to wipe... and this mama doesn't have a curfew. Suggestions please.:)

Now I know why I am soooo looking forward to lounge night and why I spend my weekends cuddled in my snuggie with my fuzzy socks. This going out thing is way too stressful. Sex and the City 2... I can't wait to watch you.

And just so ya know, on Monday, I'll be returning to my hardcore weight loss journey for the millionth time. I've decided to go on record that if I don't lose ten pounds by Christmas that I'm officially resigning as being I Am Modern's resident weight loss blogger. A weight loss blogger should actually lose weight. I know I have it in me. This too shall pass, right?

Come To Mama

2010-10-27T20:05:00.000-07:00

Surprise, surprise- Six years ago, we were building a house. The hubz and I were living with my parents and it was supposed to be ready by October. On October 27th, we drove over the mountain into wild, wonderful West Virginia, pulled up to our homesite, and saw nothing but an empty foundation. To say the builder was behind schedule was an understatement. After getting completely emotional, we drove back over the mountain to my ob/gyn check-up. I guess my nerves weren't fully recovered from the fact that I was going to be homeless for a few more months because the doctor looked at me, warned me about the complications from delivering early, and then decided that with how high my blood pressure was, that it would be best if I went to the hospital to be induced a full three weeks early at 37 weeks.

I never knew how much my life would change that day. At 3:30 in the morning, I gave birth to my precious baby boy. From the second I met him, I knew I was in love. This blurry picture is one of my favorites, because it sums up my life as a mom. In an instant, my life changed. I remember saying that I would never have the baby come right to me with all that nasty, white gunk on it. I wanted the nurses to clean that thing off before I held it. And then, in that very moment, life changed. I put my arms out and couldn't wait to hold my Christopher. He was my baby boy.

I wasn't prepared for anything from that point on. If you told me pre-baby that my giner would rip and I would need to have stitches down south... and that it wouldn't even faze me, I would think you were crazy. But I was too worried about learning to nurse that I didn't even care. I never knew how large my tummy would be once the baby popped out. Definitely not prepared for that. I never knew how much a woman could bleed and not die. I never knew how witch hazel pads would become my best friend. Or how I would pay major moo-lah for someone to steal me ice pack coochie pads. I never knew how little sleep I could go off of. Or how I would never need an alarm clock in my life again. I never knew how huge my breastasis could become- or how hard those babies could be and what a relief a baby could provide them.

I could go on and on. But the biggest thing that I have learned is that I never knew how much a mother can love.

Sure, sometimes life sucks. I've let myself go and my tummy is still huge. But it's all good. One smile from my little boy, and life is all better. Tonight, when I sneak into my son's room and kiss him goodnight singing, "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living, My baby you'll be," I will smell his skin that has been increasingly smelling "big boyish" and I will cry. For yet again on this October day, I'm emotional. I may not be "the knockout mama" that I want to be, but today, I'm thankful that I'm a mama. And I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Give Me Strength

2010-10-24T15:43:00.000-07:00

Dear Skinny Bitch,

Yeah, I mean you on the recumbent bike machine. You in the super tight gray workout shirt and size XXS black yoga pants. The one with freshly applied shiny lip gloss. You, the one with perfect hair, the one without any sweat, the one not even working out. You, the one gabbing with your friend, peddling a mere .0002 miles per hour. I'm talking to you.

Quite frankly, you are pissing me off. On the outside, you are everything I want to be. Everything I strive to be. Skinny, in-shape, pretty, and you probably even smell minty and fresh due the gum you are chompin' on. Right now, I don't like you. I'm over here on the elliptical sweating my a$$ off. I'm stinkin' to high heavens in my ten year old t-shirt that is wrinkled and that doesn't match my shorts that happen to be riding up my thighs. I am filling with anger and I really want to smack you. Sorry, but it's true.

Luckily for you, working out is a time of reflection for me. Since it's the news hour and I can't focus on a good show, I'm thinking about life. And as my mind keeps getting the best of me and the inner demon is filled with jealousy, I realize that I'm not acting like the woman I want to be. You, as in the pretty little lady on the bike, have done nothing to me. I know nothing about you, but I'm full of judgment. I'm bitter about my weight gain, and some days, it gets the best of me. It's hard. You did not put the food in my mouth or make me skip workouts. You did not make me binge at night when I was having a bad day. It was me that made those decisions.

I know nothing about you. For all I know, you have struggled with your weight, worked hard, and beaten the battle of the bulge. Or, maybe, just maybe, you struggle with infertility and haven't been able to bear children. Or who knows, maybe you are taking the day off from working out and are confiding in your friend working out beside you about a family member struggling with cancer. I know nothing about you, but the mere fact that I am struggling and working so hard to lose less than a pound while burning these calories and that you are taking it easy over there looking great, disturbs me. Sorry, but it's the truth.

I'm twenty minutes into my workout, and after hating you and bitching you out, I really should walk over and give you a hug. Thanks to you, I have amped it up and increased my level and intensity. Because when it's all said and done, if I want to look like you, I need to continue on this journey and do what it takes to lose the weight. And today my dear, you were my motivation.

I can only hope that one day, I'm the "skinny bitch" at the gym. Trust me, it's a compliment.

A gym wallflower that you hopefully didn't notice,
Shelley

Here's to learning to work on the inside just as much as the outside.:)
Proverbs 31:3
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

The Sisterhood

2010-10-20T18:57:00.000-07:00

It's a done deal and on the books. We're having a Ya-Ya weekend in fourteen days. So... how many pounds can I lose in the next two weeks?

What cool adventure are we doing, you might ask? We're having a girl's getaway to Leesburg, Virginia. Hell to the yeah. It doesn't get any more exciting than that!!! Gone are the days of road-tripping it to the Jersey Shore, cruising to Mexico, coupling it up in Jamaica, and basking in the sun in sunny Florida- Oh, wait, we'll do that in March. But for now, I'm on a budget and saving up for that trip. And luckily, I have a counterpart that lives in Loudoun who just had a baby... and when we all decided three days ago that we were in desperate need of some R & R, Leesburg it was. I drew a long straw and don't need to buy a plane ticket. Meet my besties or as we lovingly call ourselves- the Ya-Ya's:

Well, actually this is only four of us. Gina didn't make this trip, but I know that if I had posted a picture of all five of us that didn't "make the grade," there could be fighting words. I won't lie, her real name isn't Gina- but that's what she's known as to us. She is the sweetest girl in the entire world- shy and reserved... but when we go out- she turns ghetto and likes to start fights. So, in true Mar-tin fashion- she's Gina. Her real name is Kelly Bonelli. Fact. I have a friend named Kelly Bonelli.

These girls are my heart and soul. For over fifteen years, we've shared ups and downs and all arounds and have made it a point to have getaways all the time. They are my breath of fresh air. We used to be wild in our day. There was once a time when one of us gyrated on a bar in a best legs contest. No, it wasn't me. But in the past five years, together, we have birthed eleven children ages five and under. We have gone from bikinis to cover-ups and from drunken stupors to pajama parties of reminiscing about the good ole' days. We still get a little wild- During our last trip to Florida, after watching Sex and the City, we were guilty of passing around tablets of Melatonin before bed.

So, what's the point to all of this babbling? Quite frankly, I'm stressed because I'm not ready for this get together. These are the girls that know me best. They've seen me at my best of times and my worst of times, at my skinniest and at my fattest. I don't need to hide anything from them and they love me no matter what. There's always a but... Usually when we're together, we get all dolled up- dress trendy, and "act" like that's how we live every day. Trust me, we know it's a front because these girls are well aware that I didn't get a shower today and that I'm guilty of wearing the same outfit to the bus stop two days in a row.

This trip has got me thinking. I should no longer live for moments. I should no longer live for "get togethers" and find outfits for "special occasions." I shouldn't try to lose weight for a family Christmas card or for a class reunion. I've been feeling down all day because I wish I had kept the weight off and that I could fit in my skinny jeans. I feel a hundred times better when I'm in shape and have a positive attitude. I should bust my butt and watch my food choices for me- because I'm worth it. From here on out, every day should be a Ya-Ya day.:)

Thanks for letting me spill. Soap box rant is over.

And CONGRATS to Meg Brock- You won the CSN giveaway promotion. Please e-mail me at hokie30sgirl@aol.com with your address!

Freeze Away Fat: Cool Shapes

2010-10-15T17:24:00.001-07:00

Oh, to be beautiful.:) Women will do just about anything to be skinny, wrinkle-free, and gorgeous... or at least this has-been mama will. It started years ago. Ya know, like in these circa 1995 pictures. My cousin Lauren came over for a "beauty" night where we applied peel-off face masks and hair treatments. Let's just say that my mama's 1970's hair dryer always came in handy for girl nights. Please ignore my face- I think my family calls that look the "sexual."

I can't tell you the things I've done over the years to try and be pretty. I've waxed, dyed, hired trainers, and tried every diet under the sun... and I can't tell you how excited I was when the product I'm going to tell you about showed up on my doorstep!

Hold the jokes now. My hubby and best friend's hubby have already made tons of them. They have related this product to the infamous shake weight and wonder why all Alaskans aren't thin since they live in cold temperatures... When I asked my B-F-F's husband if he thinks this would really work (He has a PhD in chemistry and is the man behind the Coors Light cooling can) his sarcastic reply was, "Shelly, if you use these pants along with the proper diet and exercise program, they will work." Ugh... men!

Let me introduce you to Cool Shapes (and read on for a special promo code!). Cool Shapes are a new product similar to bike shorts that have patented cooling pads that literally freeze away your fat. Embracing the science that fat cells are uniquely sensitive to cold- Cool Shapes allows wearers to easily chill their problem areas which may be resistant to diet and exercise. Cool Shapes wearers have reported seeing results that have you looking and feeling better about your body. Amen to that!

Like many of you, I started off as a skeptic. But then I had the privilege to be in contact with the two creators- Jamie Burke and Lark MacPhail. Oh- and Jamie is a local Northern Virginian and both sisters are Virginia Tech Alumni. A big fat (or shall I say skinny) Hokie Holla to that!

Basically after reading a lot of medical journals and studies while serving as the White House Liaison at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Jamie became intrigued with research on how sensitive fat cells are to cold temperatures (both brown fat and white fat cells). So after months of research and the good counsel of a daughter who is a PhD candidate in Biomedical Engineering.... as well as trying the cold therapy herself, Jamie and her sister,Lark, launched FreezeAwayFat.

They are both big believers in entrepreneurship and free enterprise. They spent a lot of time searching for and identifying garment manufacturers right here in the USA and not abroad (which is the norm for apparel manufacturing). They also have additional products in development which will better target the tummy/muffin top and inner thigh areas. Sign me up- I'm your girl.:)

These ladies must believe in their product- Maybe because it has been backed by articles appearing in such publications as MSN, The New York Times, and The Wall Street Journal. Or maybe because many users rave about Cool Shapes. After telling Jamie that I wanted to write this blog as a "trial", they stood by their product and told me to have at it. Hopefully, this little blog will join the list of positive testimonials. I'll be updating my results for the next couple of months. If I can't wear a pair of bike shorts while watching my shows at night, then I really am a slacker. There should be no excuses. And we all know that I don't have the budget to be nipped and tucked right now, so bring on the fat pants.:)

Cool Shapes are currently available on their website www.freezeawayfat.com. They are offering a promo code to my blog readers of $10 off by entering "IMMODERN" at checkout. The regular price is $99.95 and for a limited time they are being offered for $89.95- with the code my readers can try this product with me for $79.95! Run... and get your pants and we can all be chillin' together.:)

Rainy Day Randomness...

2010-10-14T06:23:00.000-07:00

Joined Weight Watchers Online- Check
On a roll working out- Check
Training for another race- Check

Thursday Weigh-in- 168.2... Ugh!

Yep, those numbers are right. I was at 151 a few months ago when I was doing LA Boxing. I know that I've been a major letdown to some of you, but trust me- no one is more disappointed than I am. It sucks. But in all reality, this whole weight loss is truly a battle for me. More than anything I want to return to LA Boxing. Nothing is stopping me but myself.

It would be really easy for me to write every day about how great I ate, how I did a double workout, and how I was down on the scale. The truth is, many of you that read this wouldn't know that I was even lying because you don't see me! But then again, that wouldn't do any of us any good. For those of you that read, and stick by me, I hope to make you proud once again.

And trust me- I have goals. I want to finally cut my hair. It's long and it looks nice when I do it... but when it gets styled about one out of every five days, I think it would look much better chopped. But to do that, I want to lose ten pounds first and thin my double chin and chipmunk cheeks. I also want to send out Christmas cards with a family picture... without photoshopping me in. Oh, the little things.:)

It's a rainy, yucky day here. I hate giving recommendations. Last Fall, I thought I had found THE BEST mascara ever. It was made by Revlon and in a tiny silver tube. Whenever I used it, I swear my eyelashes looked a-mazing! It was like I had on falsies! So, I let my best friend try it, and she felt the love, too. A month later, we were both calling each other crying our eyes out- and nothing was stopping our tears from falling... because that oh so fab mascara made half of our eyelashes fall out. Luckily, they've almost recovered, but we were both begging our hubbys for Latisse every day of our life...

I will say that I recently switched from my tried and true 99 cent Ultrabrite toothpaste to the new Crest 3D kind- It says it eliminates up to 80% of surface stains in fourteen days. And let me tell ya- that stuff is no joke. It works!!! Take it from a Diet Coke addicted mama- my teeth are glowing.:)

My other random piece of advice is to visit Layng's Flower Farm. They are a small locally owned farm on Evergreen Mill Road and their entrance fee is super low compared to other local pumpkin patches. Not only that, they ran a deal and donated money to my son's elementary school. I have to give them props... You can spend the afternoon getting free popcorn, playing in moon bounces, and painting a pumpkin. Not to mention, you can enjoy a hay ride through the not so scary forest. When I took the kids, my hubby had been traveling, and I was totally caught in the act. On the hayride, my son shouted out, "Mommy why are you taking a picture of the driver?"

Ummm, yeah. Three shades of red later, I quickly responded, "Because of his Hokie shirt." Good recovery- especially since the kids chimed in "Go Hokies." Seriously though, the farm is worth your money. And sometimes on a rainy day, we all need a little mud on our tires and some good ole' motivation. Now I have it. To the gym, I go.:)