Tuesday, September 7, 2010

A bunch of nothin':)

Reading and writing and 'rithmatic, taught to the sound of a hickory stick... School days, School days...

Usually the end of summer sends me into depression. I look at the empty pool and feel empty myself- but not this year. I am soooo excited to get back into a routine! The start of school has brought about so many things...

I promise I'm not as shallow as I sound on this blog, and that I really don't sit around comparing myself to others. Only a little bit. I just prefer to view myself as a realist. Ha! I've been trying to make sure I have everything labeled, turned in, and signed, so that it appears that I'm not the slacker mom... and I find myself stressing about the stupidest things...

Being a blogger myself, I'll admit that I enjoy other people's blogs. It's kind of like I'm spying on their life... and sometimes they cause me to stress even more. Maybe it's bad for my health. For example: I see other mommies with blogs devoted to fixing lunches. They fix every food in shapes, letters, have a theme- the whole she-bang. And there I was last night scouring my kitchen pantry for something to throw in a zip loc bag that would make it appear that we don't just eat junk. We settled on Tar-Jay brand goldfish- otherwise known as chickadees. I'm headed to the store today to buy some grapes.:)

I'm sure this will continue all year long just as it did in our preschool days. You know, like when I felt like the loser mom when I saw handmade, gourmet-treat adorned Valentine's when our store bought cards that required a name sent our house into a whirlwind. I do think that I signed the last three in a child-like scribble just to make it appear my son signed his. Shhh, I didn't just say that.

When I blog stalk, I'm always wondering why I can't do things that others do. Ya know- why can't I be the coupon clippin' mama. I set off for the grocery store with a plan in mind... and a trip to Costco and a few hundred dollars later I don't understand what I bought and how I once again blew the budget. Or when I read the infamous Nester's blog, I wonder why I can't find any deals at my goodwill store to transform into a beautiful statement piece. I tend to find nothing but junk.

When LA Boxing opened up the doors for this blog, I was on a roll. Twenty pounds in three months- I was a fitness blogger. I felt as though this blog was actually full of substance and results that people really wanted to read. The past few months, as I packed on the pounds, I lost my identity on this blog. I often write, beat around the bush, and it frustrates me when I read other fitness blogs and see transformations while I sit there and shove a donut down my mouth. To those of you that I've let down with my weight loss, I'm sorry. But one thing I've learned is that no matter how full of insecurities I may be, I am real. I struggle with my weight, and I can't hide it... And as much as I bash myself, I know that I'm a great mother.:) Afterall, being a mommy is my life. Trust me, I didn't gain these extra pounds by focusing on myself or napping the day away. I prefer to blame twenty pounds on Chuck-E-Cheese pizza , playdates at Chick Filet fueled by a delicious spicy chicken sandwich, and nightly park romps capped of with a trip to Cold Stone. And while I hate the newly formed extra spare tire around my midsection, I wouldn't say I'd trade in those moments.:)

What I'm learning is that I really don't have to live up to what others do or accomplish. But just like my son learns how to read, it's a real learning process for me... While others may be proud of me for losing weight, they could care less about how much I weigh. They love me just the same. If you read this blog, that makes me happy. Just know that I am trying... and hope to have real results sooner rather than later.:) And in the mean time, feel free to read about my life. I mean it doesn't get any more exciting than this. Today is filled with baseball practice and preschool orientation. Woo Hoo! Here's to a fresh start and to staying out of the principal's office.:)

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