Saturday, September 4, 2010


It's never a good sign when you wake up and find a plastic trashcan beside your bed. My hubby must not have had high expectations for me. So, where do I start?... I could quite possibly yak right now- The last time I had a sip of alcohol was at that Belmont Country Club concert when I had the walk of shame. Ya know- one of those nights that you promise never to drink again. I do think I invented the vagina guitar that night. Ping. Ping….

When we moved, we moved to our dream house. It's pretty freaking amazing. After living here for a month, there are things we'd change, but for the time being, we are blessed and we love it. We all know I have issues, and I can't even begin to explain how bad they are.:)

We are blessed. But not a day goes by that I don't stress about things. You know- like how am I going to come up with the money to replace the three dollar blinds that are in our bathroom. Or, what kind of sexual favor can I do to convince my hubby that we need fall mums and cornstalks on our front porch. We live in Northern Virginia and I will admit I get caught up with this crap.

Last night, my neighbor invited me over for wine. She's super sweet and after a few invites, I finally decided it was a good night to go for it- My hubby was in town, and I should go. It was high school all over again. I literally called my two best friends and had them mentally push me out the door. I might have had them do a booger check over the phone. Needless to say, I was nervous and feeling socially inept and akward.

On this blog, I spill my gut, and can be myself. But in person, I'm an insecure, shy, woman that cares way too much about what others think. I hate that about myself. After wasting a good twenty minutes of my life fretting about what to take, I took the plunge and headed out the front door to my neighbors’ house. And just as I expected, I met the coolest chicks. There was the neighborhood hottie- The lady that looks perfect and is just as nice as she looks. The one you want to strangle. Then there was the naturally beautiful neighbor that is strikingly gorgeous and so laid back... You know the one that has it all together and is the lady you want to be. And then there was the girl that had invited me... One of those chicks that is beautiful inside and out and has no qualms about who she is. Lord, how I wish that was me.

Sometimes I feel like we're living out of our league. We got an amazing deal on our house- and last night was just a prime example of how I let the Northern Virginia Hub Bub play games with my head. These were just normal, every day people. They were so welcoming and didn't have a care in the world. Why can't I be like that? Ugggghhhhh!

I don't remember everything, but I do remember the quote of the night... "We don't poop rainbows." And there was also something to the effect of we aren't the "Cinderellas." I now know that there's no reason to stress that I don't have a butler... and my butler's pantry doesn't have to be dusted every Tuesday as I had planned. These are my people.

Ahhhhhhhh. I can take a deep breath. I think we'll fit in just fine here. Maybe it was me stressing way too much about not fitting in. Of course, I do that everywhere. Even at the downtown Wally World... Now, let's just hope the presence of a trash can isn't a regular thing. And let's hope that after the potty talk I did last night- that I'm not blacklisted from neighborhood get togethers. The extra liquid calories aren’t going to help me become "The Knockout Mama." Ha!

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