Surprise, surprise- Six years ago, we were building a house. The hubz and I were living with my parents and it was supposed to be ready by October. On October 27th, we drove over the mountain into wild, wonderful West Virginia, pulled up to our homesite, and saw nothing but an empty foundation. To say the builder was behind schedule was an understatement. After getting completely emotional, we drove back over the mountain to my ob/gyn check-up. I guess my nerves weren't fully recovered from the fact that I was going to be homeless for a few more months because the doctor looked at me, warned me about the complications from delivering early, and then decided that with how high my blood pressure was, that it would be best if I went to the hospital to be induced a full three weeks early at 37 weeks.
I never knew how much my life would change that day. At 3:30 in the morning, I gave birth to my precious baby boy. From the second I met him, I knew I was in love. This blurry picture is one of my favorites, because it sums up my life as a mom. In an instant, my life changed. I remember saying that I would never have the baby come right to me with all that nasty, white gunk on it. I wanted the nurses to clean that thing off before I held it. And then, in that very moment, life changed. I put my arms out and couldn't wait to hold my Christopher. He was my baby boy.
I wasn't prepared for anything from that point on. If you told me pre-baby that my giner would rip and I would need to have stitches down south... and that it wouldn't even faze me, I would think you were crazy. But I was too worried about learning to nurse that I didn't even care. I never knew how large my tummy would be once the baby popped out. Definitely not prepared for that. I never knew how much a woman could bleed and not die. I never knew how witch hazel pads would become my best friend. Or how I would pay major moo-lah for someone to steal me ice pack coochie pads. I never knew how little sleep I could go off of. Or how I would never need an alarm clock in my life again. I never knew how huge my breastasis could become- or how hard those babies could be and what a relief a baby could provide them.
I could go on and on. But the biggest thing that I have learned is that I never knew how much a mother can love.
Sure, sometimes life sucks. I've let myself go and my tummy is still huge. But it's all good. One smile from my little boy, and life is all better. Tonight, when I sneak into my son's room and kiss him goodnight singing, "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living, My baby you'll be," I will smell his skin that has been increasingly smelling "big boyish" and I will cry. For yet again on this October day, I'm emotional. I may not be "the knockout mama" that I want to be, but today, I'm thankful that I'm a mama. And I wouldn't trade it for anything.