Thursday, February 10, 2011

Fast Forward

"Slow down and enjoy life. It’s not only the scenery you miss by going too fast-you also miss the sense of where you are going and why." Eddie Cantor

I love DVR. It could be one of the best inventions in the world- right up there with the light bulb and a flat iron. There is nothing better than sitting down at the end of the night, diet coke in hand, being able to watch my shows in peace. Divine, I say, divine.

But tonight, when I was watching Grey's, I started thinking... Sometimes my life is on fast forward way too much. I caught myself fast forwarding through every commercial and getting anxious to get to the ending- and quite truthfully to the previews of next week's show so that I could ponder what will happen all week. And it hit me- I was thinking about how much time was left the entire show, thinking about speeding through it, how I wanted to finish the episode before bed, that I didn't even really enjoy it.

It's kind of like my life some days. I think to myself, "How can I kill this day?" As in... How can I really tire my children out so bedtime will be easy? What activity can I do to pass the time to just make it through? When in reality, I should just be cherishing my moments in time.

We all do it. We think about making it to Friday before our Monday even begins. My son can't wait to make it to the next level on his Wii and doesn't enjoy beating the one he's on. And I'm already envisioning my daughter's wedding and she's just three.

For instance, today, I might have been worn out. So much, that yes, I "played sick" so my hubby would have mercy on me and take my son to Tae Kwon Do and pull book fair duty. In my defense, I made sure to have dinner on the table and the dryer running when he pulled in the driveway (so he'd think I was working the whole time), but really, I was just wondering what the kids were doing and what I was missing. I rushed through the bedtime routine so that I could sit back and enjoy my shows, and now that they are over, I realize that my favorite parts of the day are the ones I tried to fast forward.

No, my favorite part wasn't being alone chillin' with the remote, but it was when I was painting with my daughter and bedtime with my son. Yes, I said bedtime. My six year old decided to throw a tantrum at bedtime (he never does this). I was at my wits end, but he was asking for me to lay with him... and it won me over. How often does this happen? But at the time, all I could think about was strangling him- err I mean Grey's.

This is kind of where I'm at right now. I hate being overweight. But losing two pounds bites. Yes, it's something. Its progress, and I know it takes baby steps... But do you know how long it seems like it will take to get to my goal weight? Why can't I just fast forward to being where I want to be?

Tomorrow, I'm going to think about this during my day. Perhaps, I might realize that it's all these moments in between that count. Like how I feel after a good treadmill workout, how I feel when I'm snuggling reading books with my kids, and how nice it is to have an adult conversation with my hubby. It's really not about "getting" to bedtime and relaxing. Really, it's not.

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