Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Disney, Oh Disney

Walt Disney World- It's that trip that millions of families take every year because it is almost a right of passage, it's what everyone else does, because it really is truly magical, or maybe for some- all of the above.

Planning for a Walt Disney World trip usually starts months in advance- Ya know, trying to get all the info you can from mom's messageboards, searching for deals, and finding yourself with the likes of Disney lifers on disboards.com. Once your trip is booked, you then spend precious time fretting over where you are going to eat and trying to score that golden Cinderella's Royal Table reservation. It might even progress to plotting out where you can get your best snack value, what buffet serves up Mickey Mouse waffles, and how you can get around making your child eat from the children's menu. I know, because I did all of the above.

After spending a week in Disney with my family, it was almost blinding how Americans are obese. We have a problem people. It was impossible to walk ten yards without passing an ice cream cart or some sort of refreshment stand. And when a weight loss blogger such as myself feels pretty damn hot and skinny- you know there's a problem. Let me just take a second to vent...

-Women of America... They make strapless bras for a reason. Wear them.

-If you are 350 pounds and in a skin tight vortex get-up, expect me to stare. I can see your rolls, your belly button, and lord knows what else. You are asking for my eyes to be on you. There is such a thing as playing up your assets- and I didn't mean ass. I wear flowy shirts for a reason. So when you catch me gawking at ya, you asked for it. And then later, when I realize I might have been wrong- take it as a compliment- because deep down, I wish I had your confidence.

-Call me white trash- but I love me a buffet. My hubby makes fun of me because I feel right at home at a roadside Ponderosa, Country Cookin', and I get excited if I see a Western Sizzlin'. But let's get something clear. You do not have to eat every.single.thing on the buffet like it's going out of style. In my mama's words- There are starving children in Africa. Portions, people, portions.

-Soda. I'm a self professed addict- but I'm really starting to think there should be an extra tax on this stuff. It's like liquid crack and equivalent to putting battery acid in your body. It doesn't help that Coca-Cola sponsors half the attractions at Disney, but I guarantee ya that there are two Cokes sold for every one Dansani water bottle. And being the caffeine lover that I am, it's still off limits for my children (unless I'm having a moment and just can't deal, Daddy's not looking, and I let them sneak a sip). But really, does your four year old need his own 20 oz. soda? Sad, really sad.

-This could be an entire blog post in itself... but it's kind of like golf- Some people in life deserve a few extra strokes. They need a handicap and it is there for a reason. I wholeheartedly believe that those that truly are in need should be able to use the fast pass/handicap line. Have at it. But this does not and should not apply to heavyset people on motorized scooters that are too lazy to walk the park. Really!?! And when I see with my own two eyes a mother have her son fake a sprained ankle while visiting the first aid center (yes, we were there because my daughter's fingers were smushed when we opened the stroller- not one of our finer moments, I might add), and then immediately say to the nurse (who told the lady there is nothing wrong with her son's foot), "Well, where can I get a "pass" since we have this wheelchair,"... There are problems in this world. Sorry to sound ugly, but when I heard them plotting, I was much meaner, so you should have heard me then.

I better stop before I need blood pressure medicine. And maybe this really should have been a wake-up call for me. I lost three pounds while on vacation... Granted it was because we stuck to our meal plan... but it made me think- How much snacking am I doing at home!?! Think about it.

And for those of you planning a trip. Here's a challenge. Try to plan your trip around the memories you want your family to make... not around the meal times and all you can eat bread baskets. Make it magical not mouthwatering.:)

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