"There are no regrets in life, just lessons."
Do-Over’s. Sometimes I wish you could just snap your fingers and have a do-over... like in the movies- You could shoot a retake. But then I think long and hard and realize mistakes are a part of being human. And if I could go back in time and fix all the mistakes I have made, I wouldn't- because it has made me who I am today. Honest. I swear.
But let's be clear- do-over's cross my mind daily.
It can be big things... Like why was I such a hussy when I was a teenager, why did I treat my parents soooo mean, why did I ever begin coloring my hair, or why did I think that at age seventeen a tattoo was a good idea?
And then I smile.
For if I wasn't such a wild and crazy loosey goosey, I can bet my bottom dollar that it wouldn't have been a good idea to get married and seal the deal at age 22... :) If I hadn't of treated my parents so horrible, would I be so close to them today and deeply appreciate them the way I do? If I had never colored my hair- sure I'd save thousands of dollars and fights with the hubby, but would I have gotten to fly to Chicago with my momma to have Oprah's peeps correct my chemically hot mess of hair? Or would I have the memories of going "Summer Blonde" from a Wally-World box with my B-F-F. (Note- Not a good idea.) But for the record- that summer, Blondes had more fun.:) And granted, I wanted a daisy the size of my thumbnail and got a flower with snake tongues coming out of it the size of a dolla-dolla bill... but would I be able to look in the mirror today and suddenly be put in a good mood by my faded out tat? I can't lie, I sometimes look at my backside in the mirror, see my tat, and pretend that I'm still young and dangerous and shake it a little... But then I see the stretch mark and back fat that surround my petite daisy that has been stretched to a weed.:) And then I just think to myself... Good Times, Good Times.
It can also be little things... like feeling bad because I let my children watch one too many flicks on our newfound best friend- Netflix. Or should I have really gotten my panties in a bunch because my hubby didn't switch the laundry or put his shoes in the closet. Or did my life come to an end because I didn't pick up the playroom before I climbed in bed at night?
And then I just think to myself... It is what it is. Live, love, and learn.
The important thing is that you learn from your mistakes and live without regrets. So now that I'm at the highest weight ever, can feel my flab, and literally feel disgusting- I'm learning. But looking back, I just wasn't into it the past few months. The bread at night soothed me. The cake pops made the rainy day taste just a little bit better. And all the bad food decisions and skipped workouts have led me to where I am today. At least I know what not to do and I know how much this really sucks ballz...
It sucks. But, tomorrow is a new day. Sunshine, shakes, and swimming are in my future... and those shakes will be gagged down because they are healthy and full of protein.;)
149 by the beach. Dare me.:)