Sunday, May 8, 2011

Let's Pretend

Little girls laughing- That's one of my favorite sounds in the entire world. The sound of laughter when they don't know you're listening in and it just sounds like pure joy. It usually occurs when they are playing dress-up and pretending to be pretty, pretty princesses. Their outfits don't match, they look like a hot mess- like a real life Fancy Nancy, but yet they think they look so fabulous...

I remember the days of playing pretend. I used to always name my baby dolls "Ashley Marie" and my Cabbage Patch Kids were the coolest things since sliced bread. I loved playing house- that is when I wasn't busy pretending I was Miss Elizabeth from the W.W.F. or She-Ra.

And then I grew up.

I grew up and realized that life is not a fairy tale and you don't have the chance to dwell on things and play pretend. Today is Mother's Day, and for me it's a day of reflection. The day I became a wife and the day I became a mother, all my dreams came true. And I let my body go down hill... I spend all my time taking care of others and am fulfilled doing just that. Until I look in the mirror.

I've been struggling lately with how do you go from bad to good? How do you go from loving a Big Mac to digging a grilled chicken breast? How do you go from downing Diet Coke like it's going out of style to toting ice cold H2O? How do you change your schedule from revolving around your kids to finding the time to work on yourself? And I've come to the conclusion- You have to want it.

I worked out with my trainer this week, and as I watched her bust her ass on the step machine and then move to the weights, I caught myself staring at her body. No, no- not in some lesbo sort of way, but truly just looking at how beautiful it was and knowing that if I work hard, I could be that girl that I once was.

So, I've decided that I'm going to play pretend.

I'm going to pretend that I'm a health nut. I'm going to pretend that I have to have my daily workout and that I can't go to bed until it's done for the day. I'm going to pretend that I enjoy protein shakes, water, and salad. I'm going to pretend.

Maybe one day, I'll find a way to love these things... but for now I will pretend. And who knows, I just might be that little girl laughing in a few months at all the crap I blog about on here. Laughing pure joy that I'm at 139 and that I'm that pretty, pretty, princess.:)

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