Wednesday, May 2, 2012

T to the M I

*Warning... This is about to be a very graphic post...  For mature audiences only! 

Life's not always rainbows and butterflies.  In fact, sometimes when you think life is going oh so great, you are humbled.  You are reminded that things aren't perfect.

Yesterday was one of those days.  If ya read this blog, I know that ya only have my best interests in mind, and if ya don't you are one mean-hearted person.  I overshare, vent, and write the good, the bad, and the ugly.  So why stop now...

I have this "pee" problem.  Ya see, sometimes I go months without it even bothering me, but with my recent bout of pneumonia and horrible cough, it was getting out of hand.  When I work out, I've been peeing, when I cough, sometimes I pee, when I sneeze, sometimes I pee...  It's not all the time- For example at my last 5k I had no leakage whatsoever... Leakage- now that's a word I didn't think I'd be saying in my 30's... unless it was due to breast milk or something like that...

So yesterday, I had an appointment with a urologist.  Talk about feeling inadequate. I was sitting in a waiting room full of men that were probably getting vasectomies and an old man that had brought his urine sample in a brown paper bag- and even asked the lady if it was o.k. if he hadn't refrigerated it. 

After handing over my own sample, I had a bladder scan and was informed that I empty just fine... Thanks... Trust me- I know my liquids come out- that's the problem people.  Then I had to do the whole stirrup thing and was informed I have a prolapse.  Uggghhhhh....  Yep, my bladder has fallen and can't get up.

For those of you that don't know, I had a prolapse during my last pregnancy- but it was pregnancy induced and was fine after birth.  I guess my bladder has started to fall again.  Don't worry- it's not protruding out of my body like during my pregnancy- Yes, My cervix had pushed out of my body one day and I was convinced I had a tumor and was going to die that very day.  I called my BFF and she told me I was crazy and just had a hemorrhoid.  Thanks Ash... but I had to break it to her that I knew the difference between my ass and my va-jay-jay.

A prolapse is pretty much when your innards fall... sometimes to the point where they protrude from your body.  Nice, eh?  Mine is most likely due to child birth- and partly genetics (my mom is having surgery any day and my grandma had it too- lucky me)...  I mean think about it... sometimes, if you're not nice and ready for intercourse a pecker hurts going in... and I had an entire baby shoot out of that canal- so I guess for some women that causes damage.  And if you're wondering- Sex is not an issue and the hubby hasn't complained about me being loosey goosey- everything is in working order- HA!  I'm not that much of damaged goods.:)  I mean this sounds pretty gross and all- but honestly, I can't tell my bladder is any different, nor can he... we both just know I wet my panties sometimes and it's not from being turned on... :)

But, back to the pee problem... to correct my issue, I'll have to undergo surgery.  Mesh will be placed in me to hold everything up and all my ligaments will be tightened and I'll be like a teenager again.  Well, we won't go that far... but the kicker is- they recommend that you are done having kids before surgery.

I have always wanted another baby... but for almost five years now, we have put it off.  It wasn't because we didn't want a baby- I just wasn't ready so I didn't really push the hubby because I wanted to lose weight.  Ya see, naked, my body doesn't look bad.  I mean I have an entire layer of fat covering every bit of my body, but I'm not past the point of no return if ya get what I'm saying... and I've always felt that if I get preggo at this weight, I'll hit that point and be a heifer for life.  Vain, I tell ya, vain.

Last night, we had a family meeting.  It just so happens my hubby has to contribute to his flexible spending account next week, and now we know it's do or die time.  The kids have been begging for a baby for a long time now... so it's a go.  No more putting it off... well, just a few months- Ha!  The plan is that I'm going to really try to drop some lbs in the next couple months because I don't want to deal with high blood pressure, etc.... and then it's go time. 

And trust me- you'll know this Fall when we start trying.  Don't worry- I'll spare you the play by play of positions and all, but since I struggle with PCOS, it's either going to take a while, or my meds that have regulated me will help and I'll have an easy time like we did with Addie Tay. 

So, that's my story.  I'll get back to the tri training/weight loss antics now.  But, if there is someone out there struggling with a prolapse, perhaps they will come across my blog- and know that they aren't alone.  Ya see, I get that sharing this might be tacky- but this isn't an issue that you can readily find information on... it takes a special someone to discuss their twat.  Just sayin.'  I'll get back to the rainbows and butterflies- and hope that my golden showers are fewer and far between.:)  Ewww... Even that just made me gag.:)

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