Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Mountains and Valleys

This whole weight loss thing has only been going on for less than a month, and it's already been a journey in itself. I'm finding more and more out about myself, my family, and friends every day. Some days I feel on top of the world- like "I am woman, hear me ROAR!" Just yesterday, I was taking a class, and I unleashed the beast. I felt stronger than I have in years. Once again, my mind was talking to myself, and just as I started to feel like I couldn't punch to the bell, I caught myself thinking, "Come on, Shelley. Dig in. You can do this." I made it to the bell, and I felt like I was on top of the world. I remember just a couple weeks ago, I would be doing the same thing and be thinking, "What the hell am I doing? What have I gotten my fat self into?"

Today was a different story. I went to the gym and was flat out tired. Justin had me do a cardio session on the treadmill. I've decided I have a love/hate relationship with this guy. He's super nice, understanding, and quickly becoming a friend... but when I'm being trained by him, I really don't like him. Today it dawned on me... he is one of the only people in this world that I have to listen to. Usually I call my own shots, but I know that to get where I want to be, I have to do what he says- and most of the time, he's pushing me harder than I would ever even think of pushing myself. When I was running on the treadmill, I thought I was going to pass out. Ya know that feeling when you kind of throw up in your mouth... Gross, I know, but it happened to me today. The treadmill is not my friend. I hate it and hate is a strong word. I just didn't have it in me... and then Justin said, "Are you doubting yourself?" Heck, no! I haven't come this far to doubt myself! I pushed through, and when the workout was over, I felt great... like I had really accomplished something.

Justin also told me today was probably super hard because I'm stressed, and he's right. It was just a bad day... I had to attend a funeral, my house is in disarray and that is never good for a borderline OCD person, and last night I had my hubby paint the family room... and it looks like a cross between poop smeared on my walls and a brownie uniform. Lovely. I had to break it to him that it needs to be changed and that didn't go over so well. Oh- and I got my dream table... I love it... but for a 7,000 square foot house. It's the.biggest.table.ever.... and doesn't quite fit in my kitchen!

Thanks for letting me vent.

On the positive side, I did weigh in at the gym tonight... I weighed in about eleven pounds lighter than when I started... Yes, you read that right... eleven pounds lighter. Now, the scale at the gym is always different from the one at my house because I weigh in at different times of the day and with different clothes, etc. At home, I'm still only down about 8 pounds... I don't have the official weigh-in, but I'll have it for you next Wednesday, I promise.

I was a little more motivated after my workout tonight. I swung by Tar-Jay and they already had swimsuits out!!! Hopefully this year, I won't have to wear a skirted swimsuit. I always swore that I would never wear one of those granny lookin' things, but I must confess that I've been sportin' one for the past two years!

I guess there are going to be good days and bad days, mountains and valleys... but I'm looking forward to the climb.

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb (yeah yeah ea ea)

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It's all about
It's all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

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