I was a spring chicken when I got married at the ripe age of twenty-two. We moved across the country and I remember one day when I was homesick, I got a care package in the mail from Mrs. Dillon (Jim Dillon's mom, a contestant on The Apprentice. He was one of my hubby's best friends and is the reason I knew I was totally in love with my hubby. He came around and I didn't even bat my eyelashes at him. He was so hot, but I only had eyes for my B-baby-that was truly a first.:)). Anywho, care packages always made my day... except for this one. It gave me a huge complex. It contained the movie Runaway Bride.
In the movie, Julia Roberts is a repeat offender of leaving men jilted at the alter. After looking back at all her relationships, she realizes that she morphs into what her significant other is and never really has an opinion of her own. She even goes on a mission to find out how she likes her eggs because she always just orders whatever her other half is ordering. In the end, it all works out, I bawled my eyes out, and it's great movie. But for the longest time, I wondered if I was Julia Roberts.
Looking at my life, I was always a “go with the flow” person, never having a strong identity or opinion of my own. Take music for example. I once dated a guy that thought he was Mick Jagger. I'm not kidding. He drove a Jag with the license plate Mick Jag, and he had an alter-ego. When I dated him, I fell for the Rolling Stones. I remember I went to a Stones concert and had a fake vintage tattoo of the Rolling Stones tongue on my arm and a guy looked at me and said, "Mick would be proud." What was I thinking?!? But to this day, I love me some Honkey Tonk Woman.
In high school, I also had one of the best friends in the world, my Sethie. Seth made me fall for country music. We spent our summers at country concerts and worshipping George Strait. We'd go country line dancing at Blackie's and would participate in the Summer Fair Tour- driving to different county fairs to see the up and coming- or washed out artists perform. To this day, I love country music. I'm still the obnoxious girl yelling "Free Bird," and even this past weekend I sported my cowboy boots and enjoyed Billy Currington over about 20 drinks (that part wasn't planned, but i had friends in high places that hooked me up with free drinks from the Bud Light truck... and yes, I was the Redneck Woman with the baby on my hip- oops). Good times, good times.
Pre-babies, I worked in group homes, and I loved my clients. I was the only advocate they had, so I learned the ropes. I learned the ins and outs of grease and buying do-rags, and they tried to turn me straight gangsta. The one thing we could bond over was music. I love rap and R&B, and they loved teaching me to brush my shoulders off and to c-walk (until I learned that was gang affiliated). Those kids taught me more than they'll ever know, and to this day, if I'm in a bad mood, I can tune to 95.5 and it'll put a smile on my face.
My love for music doesn't stop there- I love me some Christian tunes- Plus One and Third Day are my favorite. Oldies make me wanna dance, and I could go on an on. LA Boxing has taught me that I love alternative music, too. In fact, LA Boxing has made me realize that I don't have a complex or an identity crisis at all. One day in the middle of a class, I realized that I truly do LOVE all these types of music. I love Mark's classes with rock, Seth's class with rap, and I always leave Adam's class singing, "We are, we are... the youth of the nation."
I've learned that I am just a girl without a true identity, and that's OK with me. When it comes down to it, I don't even know how I like my eggs. Sometimes, I don't even know what my favorite color is because it changes so much. But I do know that I feel a hundred times better when I work out and am skinny- so here's hoping for a good week!
Oh, and I do know- that I'm not a Runaway Bride.:)