Tuesday, September 27, 2011

What kind of mom are you?

Cosmo and Glamour seem like foreign reads to me nowadays... and they used to be my bible. But when on a girl's weekend sans children with younger gals, I happened to pick one up. I was reminded why I don't read them anymore... Between sippy cups and bedtime stories, I'm doing good just to get mine a couple days a week, so I really don't think I need to read an article about how young women have the time to groom their areas all day for a night of passion. Thanks, but No thanks. And by the way, a little overgrowth never killed anyone.

I can't say my time chillin' with the mag was a complete waste. Who knew there was an i-phone app that gives you daily kegal exercises in a mere two minutes--- and women swear you can reap the rewards by reclaiming virgin sex... And the magazine took me back to the days where I'd live for a multiple choice questionnaire that I thought at the time could tell me who I was- Ya know like give me all the answers about if I was a nurturer or needed to be nicer. I used to LOVE those questionnaires... and would really love when I had gotten a magazine from a friend and she had already circled her juicy answers- Score!:)

It got me thinking... What kind of questionnaire would relate to my life now? And since I was hungover on the beach having extreme mommy guilt, all I could come up with was, "What type of mommy are you?"

I used to think I had it all figured out. I was the mack daddy stay-at-home mom. I didn't see how a woman could bear to leave her children- even for a few hours. But let me just tell ya- I am so far over that. As a mom, the first few years are a blur- One often gets so caught up on if you are the best parent, with the most well-behaved baby, with the cutest nursery and so on. You catch yourself lying about how great of a sleeper your baby is, and stretching when they met milestones by just a hair. And you easily become opinionated about other mom's. Sometimes it's enough to ruin friendships. Sad, but true. I mean, if you dog on someone else's parenting, or even make a sly comment, those are fighting words.

When you turn to google to figure out your parenting style, you might even end up more disgusted. Thousands of articles are out there that stereotype and categorize we as mothers. Every website from Oprah to Parenting has quizzes and checklists to help you form your mommy philosophy. Parenting even has a quiz that states, "Where do you fall on the parenting spectrum? How do you compare to your partner or your best friend? Take the test for them and see your results side by side." Sickening.

As a stay-at-home mom, I can't deny that I get caught up in the whole ode to mommyhood thing. Am I doing enough to go organic? Am I teaching my daughter how it is to be a strong woman in the working world by relying on my husband to provide? Are my children going to be slobs because I forever look like I just worked out donned in my gym clothes? Should I be working? And the list goes on. But when it comes down to it, every.single.situation has pros and cons. Working mom, stay-at-home mom, work at home mom- There are advantages and disadvantages of each. And if you meet a mom that swears she's doing the whole mommy thing without fail... I hate to break it to ya, she's lying.

I'm over it. If I had to take on an identity, I wouldn't be the alarmist mom, the stage mom, the know-it-all mom, the professional mom, or the soccer mom. In fact, for the first time in my life, I don't need the validity of a Cosmo quiz to tell me what I am. And at the end of the day, I think this world would be a lot better place if we as mom's all chose (D), None of the above.

For after all is said and done, I just choose to be Mom. Plain, old Mom. I'm just a girl trying to raise my children the best that I can. I'm doing it in the manner that works best for my family and my family alone. I love my babies with all of my heart and always will. I make mistakes, experience guilt, and realize that there are better story readers, tucker-inners, and boo-boo kissers out there than I am. But at the end of the day, I'm trying my damnedest- and giving it my best shot. Because that's what we mom's do.

There's no right or wrong answer... so don't go spying on my quiz. We're in this together ladies. Mom Power.:)

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