Literally. I'm facing my fears. And yes, this will seem completely shallow and vain to some of you...
Some people are scared of heights- so they go bungee jumping. Some are afraid of clowns- so they go to the circus. Me, well, I'm not necessarily afraid... but every day, I have my safety blanket... and it's called Clinique, Urban Decay, Mary Kay... you name it- I love me some make-up.
Writing this blog has taught me so much. Nowadays, it's not about the number on the scale. It's more about finding my true self as a woman. It's my outlet, my very own personal therapy. Yes, my overall goal is to get in bikini body shape- but I've learned so much through writing. I'm self-conscious to a fault. I worry way too much about what others think. And it's not worth it.
On my birthday some of my favorite little girls in the neighborhood made "Miss Shelley" birthday cards... and I cracked up- they were covered in make-up- pictures of lipsticks, eye shadows, and nail polish. Ha! Hellooooo wake-up call... maybe my transvestiteish ways of make-up application are a little overboard.:)
And when I finally decided to commit to doing a triathlon- my biggest fear wasn't NOT being able to do it, but "Oh Shit! I'm going to have to do this with NO make-up since I start with a swim. And after research it looks like I'm going to have to wear some tight ass tri shorts and a tight workout top that's only going to accentuate my rolls and flab. UGH!
My make-up wearing days go way back. I battled severe, severe acne and was even called the bearded zit. I thought that if I covered my zits with make-up they'd go away. Looking back, that little bottle of Cover Girl foundation probably made me look more like a mime than helping the matter because I'm pretty sure I had the worst make-up lines ever. I remember doing the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer, camping out in a tent, and being the ONLY one the next morning to use the outdoor mirrors to "apply my entire face."
So, what's the point of this... Day by day, I'm getting over it... Yes, I'll still pack on my lipliner... but I'm learning that beauty truly is only skin deep. And at the end of the day, I'd much rather have little girls think of bikes and running shoes rather than hair spray and perfume when they think of me. I may not be going bungee jumping or to the circus... but I am going naked in public- and I'm looking forward to a spandex outfit on the 24th- don't let my jiggle make ya giggle...