Why, Hello there, Strangers! How are ya? It's been a while and I miss writing. I miss baring all my insecurities and letting ya know how I really feel.:)
So, where have I been? I bet many of you could write this post without even knowing. Oh, ya know, I did my triathlon, rode the high of that and didn't work out for like two weeks. Then I got on an Insanity kick. I was going to do Insanity like no other. 60 days to my best body ever. I started the first week and didn't miss a workout- was killing it. And then the hubz started to do it with me which was awesome... but he is a wake up at the crack of dawn and get er' done kind of guy- and let's just say I'm a give me ten more minutes five times every morning kind of gal so that didn't exactly work out. He's now on week 5 and me- well, I bombed. I've done the day one fit test about five times because we all know that I have OCD and every time I miss a workout I want to start over so I get the 60 days just perfect... Brendan says I'm destined to be a professional fit-tester.
Maybe Insanity isn't for me... along with all the 100 other things I've tried and failed. It's amazing some of y'all still read.
This morning I'm headed to the gym to get a good hour of cardio in... and maybe some floor exercises. We'll see. After that, I've got a cooler packed and we're headed to the gym's outdoor pool so that our kids can drive us crazy going down the slide all afternoon- and I'd bet money that we'll be the loudest group at the pool, I'll yell "CHRIS" a million times and everyone will be so sick of that name, and we'll probably stay so long that we're bound to have a Sweet Frog pit stop on the way home. And I will love every second of it.
Summer has flown by- and I'm not ready for it to end. This summer I haven't spent hours dreading being in a bathing suit. I haven't had little voices in my head saying "You need to lose weight if you're gonna wear those shorts." And I haven't been so all-consumed with my body with thoughts that I don't want to do things. I haven't moaned and groaned about what others are doing, what others have, and what I want. O.k... I take that back- I've been crying the blues for a backsplash for the past month and that started the day after we did a landscape overhaul and had a sprinkler system installed... but I've been much better. I've just been loving every second of summer- enjoying nights with my neighbors that love me for just me, snuggling with my kids that are growing up before my very eyes, looking at my hubby and thanking him for providing for us and working so hard so that I can be with the kids (and only going psycho for five minute spurts when I find out he's about to travel for yet another week trip- ha!).
Dare I say it... I am content. Well, almost- there's always gonna be things I want and would change if I could... but I've found peace and just love where I'm at in life.
It was funny- when I realized this, I came across a blog titled "HOME" on one of my favorite blogs (www.mile-posts.com). The author- we'll just call her Dorothy- because I feel like all these other bloggers that have no clue who I am are my homegirls and that we're on a first name basis... wrote:
"I feel at home. A sense of peace has come over me. A peace I haven’t felt in a very long time. Suddenly many of the things I was stressed and worried about don’t seem as important."
Dorothy happens to be a marathon runner- an amazingly good marathon runner... and she went on to write...
"I didn’t run Friday, I didn’t run Saturday, I completely skipped my long run of 16 miles and opted for a 6 mile stroller run with baby C. I didn’t have to push him – I wanted to bring him with me. We ran 6 picturesque miles on the portion of the W&OD I now live on. I don’t feel an ounce of regret or sadness over skipping my long run. Suddenly sub 3:10 isn’t as important to me as it was a week ago. I still want to run NYC Marathon but now I wonder if I even care about Marine Corps Marathon this year. Maybe things will change, but maybe they won’t."
Yep, she's feeling "Home" as a person and ended with "I don’t regret how I have felt the past couple of months……it has helped me grow. Helped me figure out what I want out of life and who I want on this journey with me."
I couldn't say it any better. But I wanted to scream at her... "Don't stop running! Get the sub 3:10 dammit! We're all rooting for ya! Just because you are in a happy place doesn't mean you should give up on your goals! Don't do it Dorothy!"
And it donned on me... Hello Shelley.... Happy Scmhappy.... Don't give up on your body. Just because you are living the life you love doesn't mean you should let yourself go!
For so long, blogging has been my free therapy. You see your flaws and all written out- How you stressed in that tight shirt on a playdate- or how for years you wouldn't dare wear a bikini... but then you realize that the person you were on a playdate with was just glad you were there... and that no one gives to flying fucks that you have a couple stretch marks and a few extra lb's if ya wear a 'kini' at the pool. With blogging, you see how you always wish you had more, how you wish you wanted less, and then at some point you are just okay with the way it is. You sit it written out right in front of you and you realize all your insecurities are just stupid. You realize that people believe in you and that you can be one of those happy people that is so content with just being.
And then the whole point of your blog goes out the window because once you see it in writing you realize it's time to sign off and get your butt out the door to the gym... because it's so important to stay happy and keep those voices at bay! You CAN be a happy and fit person... Sport and Health... here I come.:)