Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Hey Strangers!

Well, Hello there my little pretties! Oh, how I've missed you...  I would have written sooner, but life has taken some crazy turns.  Well, I guess not crazy because it's what I've always dreamed of- but at the same time, what I've been putting off... and off... and off...

So, I'll just get to the point... The knockout mama is KNOCKED UP!  Yep, preggo to the hello... And this time things are so very different. 

Let's backtrack a bit... I have always dreamed of a bunch of snot-nosed children running around my house- like lots.  But then, I had trouble losing my pregnancy weight coupled with the fact that I had a hubby that was content with two kids, so here I was this summer literally laying out at the pool while my self-sufficient children cared for themselves.  It was bliss. 

Then, one week, this mama had a full social calendar- I actually had two girl's nights in one week- a first- ever... One night, I enjoyed a very fine night out with the ladies in my hood- where I could walk home and it was one of those nights. Ya know, one of those nights you'll never forget.   Not only did I get wasted and have a great time, I came home completely sexually charged up ready to molest my husband.  Let me tell ya about my hubby- sweetest man alive, but the man wraps it up and is safe as can be to prevent any more little ones.  All those years, I thought I was winning his heart and being seductive by chanting his beloved Hokies' cheer just "Stick it in, stick it in, stick it in," and come to find out the way to his heart was to go all sentimental.  Yep, this baby was the by product of, "Come on baby, we know we are going to have a third eventually, let's just put it in God's Hands just this once.  He knows what's right."  Well, the big man upstairs must have thought we needed to get on with the show and procreate because three weeks later at the beach, this Mama found out she had a little bean in her belly. And for the record, there was no taking advantage of my main squeeze- he was totally sober.:)

And now, we are blessed beyond measure.

Or at least that's what I say before 4pm hits when I'm completely and totally sick and nausea.  Yep, woo hoo- This pregnant girl right here that usually prances around glowing and yapping about how I just LOVE being pregnant has been sick.  Ugh. 

 I've wanted to blog about this little situation for some time now, but ya see, I know how my blogs and ramblings usually prompt my brothers to phone my mom and tattle about my oversharing.  She then calls, puts me in the lecture seat, and rattles on about modesty and how some things don't need to be shared.  Yes, at the age of 34, I still have brothers who tattle, a Mama who calls me every day and mothers me, and I still need to learn to control my diarrhea of the mouth.  It's all good though...  I know that one day my B-F-F and I will live at the beach and write our novel under the pen name of Suzanne Vann.  Trust me, it's gonna be good.  Fifty Shades of Grey has nothing on us- we're way dirtier... Afterall, we grew up on V.C. Andrew sand are now horny housewives... who are usually too tired at the end of the day to live out our fantasises so all this good stuff remains in our head.  Well, not completely true- sometimes that inner goddess breaks out and wa-lah, we end up preggo and just keep pushing back that release date a few years. 

Oh, it feels so good to get some of that out.  But you will never believe where this blog is about to go.  After being given the chance to blog about my pregnancy on I Am Modern, I have decided to do something you guys will never expect.  I've decided NOT to write for the magazine or website.  For some reason, I know how I write, and I don't feel the need to share about how my hoo-ha is looking and the amount of cerivcal mucus I'm homebrewing... and I know that yep, I would go there.  I mean, look people, I'm getting to second base at least six times a day- feeling my own boobies, molesting myself, making sure they are still sore and everything is still going a.o.k... That's just how I roll.

Yep, I've decided to go soft on y'all... and only blog here-where I know it's my friends and family reading...

I can't promise regular updates, but I'm thinking monthly belly shots, updates, and unicorns and rainbows.  I know that this is my last pregnancy and as gross as I feel, I'm trying to cherish every moment of it- and hope to reflect on the last piece of our family's puzzle in a tasteful, sweet way.  I hope ya still read.:)





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