I'm that mom. I'm that mom who is so proud of her kids and they are her world. I'm that mom who is so proud of her kids that they have become her world. I'm that mom that keeps a beautiful, clean, and tidy house. I'm that mom that has good friends and a loving husband. I'm that mom that is undyingly thankful for all that I have and am blessed with the life I live.
I'm also that mom that takes care of everyone and everything but herself. I haven't been thankful for myself, my health, my wellbeing for a long time. While I don't yell at my kids, I hit drive thrus like they are going out of style. While I have my shit together and go to bed with a house looking like a model home, I have a pile of nachos or five servings of sugary cereal before I retire to my bed at night. While I have friends that love me and care about my health more than I do, I often poo poo their motivation and would rather take a thirty minute cat nap than get some exercise. And it's all caught up with me.
I'm that mom- no wait- I'm not just "mom"- I'm that woman that walks by mirrors and cringes because she doesn't recognize herself. I'm the woman that used to dress so trendy and cute but now sports oversized "baseball mom" shirts because it's all that I have in my closet that fits. And why bother with accessories if I'm so fat? I'm that woman that paid hundreds of dollars a few weeks ago to meet with an endocrinologist to hear that everything is just fine with my thyroid, my insides, and my body- but it is my daily life choices that are resulting in me feeling like crap. Ya know- the diet coke that flows through my veins, the raw cookie dough that is a snack, and the queso and chips that soothe my soul when the hubby is traveling and I just want something to make me happy. Yep, the self medication I have been doing with food is what is slowly killing me. The snoring, the high blood pressure headaches and spells, skin tags that have formed- yep, it's all stemming from how I'm treating myself day in and day out.
So yes, I'm that mom that had a baby two years ago and completely let myself go. If you think I don't know it- here's the deal- I'm well aware- more than you'll ever know.
And if you think I'm happy about it, I'm not. I hate it. I think about it every second of every day. I look at Facebook pictures of so many friends looking better than ever and I want to cry. Sure, I'm happy for them, but I beat myself up because I just can't get it together.
Today is Thanksgiving. The one day that revolves around family and food. Well, today, for me it is not going to revolve around food. One more day of adding pounds to my body depresses me- so I'm starting my lifestyle change today. Now. Not after I down a bagel and cream cheese. Right now.
Today is Thanksgiving and I'm going to be thankful for me. For all that God has given me. For my beautiful family, my amazing friends. And I'm not going to stop there. I'm going full circle and I'm going to come back to me- because my kids, my husband, and even myself deserve me to be thankful for me. It' not too late to throw in the towel. And who knows- If I eat healthy today maybe I won't be so paranoid about people checking out what the fat girl is putting on her plate and just maybe next year I will don a cute outfit and look and feel like myself.
191.0 Let's do this.
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